So after months and months of reading about this person finding a deep resolve to lose weight and then soon after finding comfort in a bucket of fried chicken, I have decided that the blog will join the others in the trash as reading those types of entries is bad energy as far as I'm concerned. I want to surround myself with positive people who are trying hard on a daily basis to fight this condition. They take it seriously. They are demonstrating determination and discipline. They are actually going through the process without finding excuses for failure or knowingly sabotaging their efforts with the 'one can't hurt' mentality (because it's never really just one with a food addict).
I've had many setbacks. Obviously, or I wouldn't still be overweight, but I'm heading in the right direction and the last thing I need is negative, pessimistic energy around me.
I haven't worked out in a week now and I am going insane and driving D insane too. I just trying to hold on until tomorrow. If I can take deep, deep breaths tomorrow without feeling any tightness in my chest at all, then I'll do something - anything!! At the moment, I'm just trying to ignore the fact that yet another day as gone without a workout because all I keep thinking is - I've lost muscle, I've lost strength, I've gained weight, all that work, down the drain --- dramatic, yes, but it's my drama and my current state of mind.
To make things worse, last night I was in excruciating pain from my fibroids [new post on my health issues here]. It was the worst I felt in a long time. We almost went to the hospital, but I just breathed through it - not easy with bronchitis! Today the pain is not as bad but it's been more frequent all day. I wonder why it's happening now. I wonder if the lack of activity plus the contractions from the coughing is affecting me internally somehow. I just want it all to go away.
Ok, enough with the complaining. Got some grilled veggies and soup on the menu for tonight. I just want a good night's sleep and to feel strong and ready to workout tomorrow.