Workin' it Out

Dragging My Feet

2012-03-02T18:50:00.002+03:00

Up at 2 a.m. today. This is getting ridiculous.

Crawled back to bed around 6:30 a.m. for restless/nightmare filled nap.

Dragged myself to the gym at 10:30 a.m. So not in the mood for this.

Quick cardio warm-up, just 15 minutes.

Body Pump class at 11:00. I concentrated on my form, but used light weights - didn't want to overdo it, plus wasn't sure if I was going to collapse or not.

Zumba at 12 -- but the class got cancelled. Was disappointed and relieved. My body definitely needs to get some rest somehow.

Lunch - a bit of pasta with some veggies and egg white thrown in for protein - at 1:00.

Attempted at a nap at 2:30 - stayed in bed till 3:30, couldn't sleep but my body felt like a lump of lead. Was so difficult to get up.

Massage booked for 4:30 - bliss. Thought I would fall asleep, but I didn't. I did, however, manage to relax, so I definitely felt better post-massage.

Going out to dinner with some friends tonight to celebrate my thesis submission. Am thinking - grilled fish and the salad bar ... perhaps.

I've given up hoping for a good night's sleep. So I'm just hoping I don't collapse.

The Insomnia is Killing Me

2012-03-01T19:34:00.000+03:00

You'd think that with all my talk of relaxing lately that my sleep would be improving ... not the case at all. In fact, when my sleep broke at 2:40 this morning I told myself 'Don't you dare get out of bed. You will stay in bed until at least 4:30 no matter how anxious you feel.' By 3:15 I still wasn't asleep, and by 3:20 I was crying from exhaustion. I can't explain how upsetting it is.

For the most part, I'm actually fine with waking up early - I figure, if I'm up, then I might as well get out of bed and do something, even if it means just relaxing in the other room. However, I know that with all my working out I need to get more than 3 hours of sleep a night. It's just not healthy. My muscles are achy and tired. At the end of the day, after working out for 3 hours, I.Am.Tired!! Why can't I sleep? And before you ask, I just had quarter cup of coffee at around 7:30 a.m. ... that's not enough to keep me awake for most of the night!

In the end, I did manage to stay in bed until 5 am (a miracle!) but I didn't fall back to sleep and I was tense most of the time.

Right now I'm just hoping for 5 hours -- I think in the meantime I'm going to try and take a long nap in the afternoon. I'll aim for 1.5-2 hours. I have to figure out a way to give my body the rest it needs.

Workouts for the day:

NROL4W Phase 3, Workout B3 (I'm excited that I'm almost done with this phase, it's been a good one, but I can't wait to move on. Next week is the last week for this round of exercises).

Cardio interval training (short, just 20 minutes)

Zumba (more like fun than a workout for me, but that's coz' I love to dance -- I'm still working up a MEGA sweat).

Food on point. Water on point. All I need to do is sleep.

A Day of Relaxation

2012-02-29T20:21:00.000+03:00

The weather here is absolutely stunning and I'm so glad to be done with my thesis submission so that I can actually sit outside and enjoy the weather without having to rush home to do some work!

My workouts for the day were really good -

Half an hour of cardio warm-up -- including more jump rope

Body balance -- which was particularly challenging as this choreography involved a lot of arm/shoulder work ... and after yesterday's weights session, all I can say is OUCH!

Boxing for an hour ... I really don't like doing my boxing training after body balance, particularly because balance class ends with 10 minutes of meditation. It's a bit disconcerting to go from lying down in the dark to throwing punches ... but like yesterday's post - I just have to suck it up!

I had a really good training session. No bruises or blood this time, but lots of core work - twists and turns - plus focus on form. Boxing once a week isn't enough. I need to squeeze in at least 2 hours of practice before meeting with my trainer on Wednesdays. Don't know where I'll find the time!

After my workouts I got the chance to sit outside for a few hours -- absolute bliss (even though I did have student essays to grade in front of me). Still, I think it's beginning to sink in, and I don't want that feeling to go away!

In the evening I went for a 5k walk on the Mishref walking track. After doing the 10k last weekend I've decided to really focus on improving my run - or probably more accurately, start running. I know I do cardio at the gym and have been trying to work on my running on the treadmill, but it made a huge difference 'running' outdoors. So, I'm going to try and go to the outdoor walking track at least twice a week, if not three times. My goal is to just do 5k outside and build up until I can run the whole distance. I may try to use the C25K program as I know several people have had success following that plan ... we'll see. For now I'll just keep track of how fast I'm going and keep trying to increase my speeds as well as my jogs with each attempt.

So that's it from me. I'm hoping that this newfound relaxation will help me sleep (it still hasn't happened yet ... only managed 3.5 hours last night -- ugh!! It's getting tough to handle).

Suck it Up

2012-02-28T23:06:00.000+03:00

Today has been a hectic, yet relaxing day at the same time ... does that make sense?

First of all, you'd think that I would be able to stay in bed and get a good night's sleep after submitting my thesis -- ya, that's not the way insomnia works.

I had nothing prepared for my class so I had to take some time to get that done, even if it was going through old files to look for lessons to recycle from last year ... but that totally threw me off schedule.

I didn't have time for breakfast, so I quickly put together a protein shake and grabbed an Eat Natural bar. Ate half the bar on the way to the gym ...

Had a terrific weights workout. I'm making good progress through my NROL4W. I did my entire workout in the big weight room today! I love how strong I feel each time I increase my weights. Today one of the trainers decided to stay with me while I was working out and he said my form was excellent and that I was doing really well -- it was good to hear, especially with the doubts that I've been having lately about pushing myself etc. For one of the exercises - cable reverse woodchops - I complained that the handle hurt my wrist and asked him what I should do to stop the discomfort, also wondering if it had to do with the way I was gripping the handle. He took a look at my wrist and the handle and realized that the only problem was the proportion of my hand to the handle -- two things which couldn't be changed, so his advice to me was. Suck it up.

I had to stop and laugh when he said that ... because it hit me that, yes, I just have to suck it up. There are going to be parts of exercises that hurt (not in an injury hurt way, but more of a challenge hurt way) - such as squats!! You just have to suck it up and get through them anyway.

My matrix of squats and lunges went really well after the weights workout. It's fantastic seeing the effects of my weight training pay off in other areas - my poster is straighter, I can lift things easier, my legs and arms are definitely stronger.

I had my protein shake and the rest of the Eat Natural bar on the way to work ... it was an absolutely gorgeous day, so after work I met a friend for coffee. We sat outside and enjoyed the warm sun + cool breeze ... it finally started to sink in a little that I didn't have to rush home and do some writing or data analysis ... it was good to just be able to enjoy the moment without the lingering guilt that I should really be doing something else!

Once I got home I only had an hour to turn around and head back to the gym for Zumba. Had a bowl of vegetable soup, got changed, and headed out again.

Since I didn't have time to prepare dinner beforehand, I resorted to getting food from a company called 'Diet Care.' All their foods are made with low fat ingredients etc. and their calories are specified on the top of the box. Although I think the concept is great, I have realized that not all their stuff is as nutritious as it should be -- but still, for today I was more concerned with eating something that wasn't high in calories (and was quick). So, even though it was carbs, I had a 310 calorie meal of pasta with some mushrooms.

Ugh. No protein today!! Well, hardly any protein ... not good. I didn't even hit 1,000 calories today, which is not good on a day that I worked out for 3 hours ... but still, it's just one day. Having a few hundred less calories on one day isn't going to kill me. It's the way the day turned out so I just had to suck it up and roll with the punches!

Week in Review

2012-02-27T14:16:00.000+03:00

Last week was definitely a big week for me - I did two things that I'm really proud of.

First of all, I completed my first ever outdoor 10km group run (more like walk/jog).

Secondly, I completed my PhD!

The soreness of Saturday's 10k has gone, but the relief of completing my PhD hasn't set in yet ... all in good time.

A few days ago I posted about not feeling confident/motivated. I stayed on plan - ate well all week and did several workouts, but there was a certain amount of energy lacking. I'm sure part of it is definitely related to my insomnia. Part of it is also just general stresses in my life ... I just felt like I was dragging a bit this past week, so it was no surprise (but definitely a disappointment) that I didn't lose any weight this week.

Just gotta stick to the plan and not give up. I'm definitely on the right track though things still need a bit of tweaking.

Weight loss progress:

Feb. 5 - 60 lbs. to target weight

Feb. 12 - 56 lbs. to target weight

Feb. 19 - 54 lbs. to target weight

Exercise:

Sunday: Weights (NROL4W 3A2 - 1 hour)

Monday: Rest

Tuesday: Weights (NROL4W 3B2 - 1 hour); Treadmill (30 min light); Zumba (1 hour)

Wednesday: Boxing 1.5 hours; Treadmill (20 min light)

Thursday: Treadmill (30 min); Zumba (1 hour)

Friday: Cross-trainer (45 min); Zumba (1 hour)

Saturday: 10 km support run (1.5 hours)

Total: Just over 10 hours

Food: {obviously repeated meals over the days}

Breakfast: oatmeal; cereal; cheese & tomato sandwich

Lunch: spinach chick-pea salad; soup; tuna avocado salad

Dinner: loaded sweet potato; baked fish with steamed veggies; pasta w/tomato sauce

Snacks: protein shake; cottage cheese with cashews; chocolate pudding (fat free); After Eight

Daily averages:

1,400 calories

90 g. protein

183 g. carbohydrates (20 g. fiber)

40 g. fat (8 g. saturated fat)

Reflections:

This past week I made it to the gym, but I didn't put in as much effort as I should have. My goal for the week seemed to be just to make it there ... but as I can see, it's definitely not good enough.

Even in terms of food - I ate a lot of the same things just because they were quick and easy to prepare. This week it was definitely just about eating something (healthy of course) rather than really thinking out and enjoying my food.

Last week I wrote about drinking more water -- except for 2 days (when I drank just 3 liters of water) I managed to drink 4 liters (135 ounces) of water.

Plan for the week:

Continue to drink 4 liters of water everyday.

Continue to try and increase my protein intake and lower my carb/fat intake.

Put more effort into my workouts.

Consistency is key ... so just gotta keep making sure I'm doing everything I can to stay on top of things. Change won't come without the effort.

Rest and Recovery

2012-02-26T23:34:00.004+03:00

Today was a much needed day of rest after yesterday's 10k. My legs were definitely feeling the impact of walking/jogging/running on pavement versus the treadmill - it does make quite a difference.

I would normally do my week in review today, but I'm going to save it for tomorrow as the main thing I have to say for today is ...

I finally submitted my PhD thesis!!!!

I'd like to say that I'm totally relieved but it really hasn't sunk in yet ... but perhaps a good night's sleep is finally in my destiny.

From 0 to 10K

2012-02-25T17:30:00.001+03:00

I did it!

Remember that run I wrote about a few days ago? Well, after exchanging a few emails with one of the runners who is doing the 240 km (I still can't believe it), he finally convinced me to just give it a go.

So I thought to myself - ok, let's do this. Ever since deciding, I tell you, I have been a nervous wreck! I was just filled with so much fear about not being able to do it even though I wanted to try so bad.

I set 3 goals for myself:

1. Finish. Even if you have to crawl. Just finish.

2. Try to finish within 1 hour 40 minutes.

3. Try not to come last!

I guess my main goal was #1 - just finish no matter what. The other two would have been bonuses for me.

Before I tell you how it went, let me just show you what kind of day it was weather-wise. (I hope the sound is ok in the video.)

It rarely rains in Kuwait -- but of course, today, it was pouring down! I mean, non-stop stormy rain ... for a while it looked like the run wasn't going to happen ... but it did ... and ...

I finished!

I completed the 10 km (6.2 miles) in 1 hr. 27 minutes (so within my goal time).

I didn't come last! (mega grin from ear to ear!)

The whole task was a challenge for me. It's easy to do 10 km on a treadmill in the gym when you're there on your own time ... but this involved putting myself out there - running (walking/jogging) in public, with a group, on Gulf Road - OMG - talk about anxiety!

Plus there was also the mental battle with myself - trying to jog a little further than the last time, maybe a little faster too. Telling myself that I could do it and that there was no reason to give up ...

When I think about where I was early-December - the first time I was able to go back to the gym post-surgery - it was good to feel like I've come far, especially because I've been so down lately. Anyway.

I did it! Now to keep on moving forward and striving for more!

A few pix:

The six amazing runners approaching our starting point -- at this point they have just finished 120 km out of their 240.

The group of us before starting the run. (I'm in the front with the pink NY Yankees cap on.) [Organized by Aymstrong.]

Me in the RunKuwait t-shirt (I'm so glad I had 4 layers on under there - it was freezing!):

Changing things Up

2012-02-24T19:13:00.000+03:00

I think I'm going to have to change things up in my gym routine soon as it is becoming just that ... a routine. This week in particular has been a bit hard. I've had so many other distraction that my workouts have been ... well, I guess overall they've actually been good, but this week felt a bit more like I was there so that I could just get the workouts done rather than really wanting to be there. That kind of distraction really affects my effort -- I've always told myself, if you're making the effort to go to the gym, then put in 100% while you're there. I usually do, but this week felt like I was kind of hanging around the 70% effort range ... I definitely need to step that up next week!

I think part of my issues this week has been an overall feeling of lack of confidence. For some reason (perhaps insomnia related) I just feel like I was dragging all week. I pretty much got everything done that I needed to, but it was all just with the mentality of pushing through. I'm so tired of pushing through, but I don't feel like I'm in enough control of my life to do it any other way at this point in time. So I think this feeling has just been dragging me down a little. Unfortunately that just means that each time I leave the gym and feel like I didn't give it 100% makes things worse -- Why didn't I go faster, hit harder, push heavier? I seem to be struggling to do it on my own. Maybe it's time to invest in a personal trainer? The thing is, I like my routine so I don't want to do somebody else's program. I just want someone to encourage me and push me through my program instead of changing it up ... We'll see!

For today, 45 minutes on the cross-trainer followed by Zumba class. My new shoes are working out great :) [Very much unlike the New Balance sneakers which were so painful that they brought tears to my eyes. Disappointed in that purchase! For now I'm sticking to my original New Balance trainers -- but am in desperate need for a replacement pair!]

Giving In

2012-02-23T22:51:00.004+03:00

I gave in last night and took two sleeping pills. I was just absolutely exhausted and drained ... I didn't want to, but I was desperate. Although I did manage to get almost 6 hours of sleep, I was still restless (work up 5 times during the night) and didn't feel all that rested once I woke up ... I just don't get it. I'm so frustrated!

Today was an easy day, mainly because I was insanely sore after yesterday's boxing workout. I could barely move my torso - coughing/sneezing hurt like you can't imagine! When I walked into the gym my trainer saw me and started laughing because he knew exactly how I was feeling. He was like - your posture is perfect now! - And I thought, well of course it is. I can't blood move my torso!! My knuckles hurt too! In any case - it was a painful but good type of sore.

I warmed up on the treadmill for half an hour and then went to Zumba class. I just needed to dance off all of this stress -- plus having my new Zumba shoes helped cheer me up! {Yes, I'm that person who buys the accessories to match the workout ... why not? Plus you know I'm a shoe addict!}

Love them!! {Um, I bought Zumba socks too - I know, insane, but I couldn't resist!!}

The shoes actually made quite a difference. They're light and slide easily on the floor, making some of the moves much easier than before.

Anyway.

I received a few compliments today on how I was looking more toned and trim. I don't really see it when I look in the mirror, but it's always nice to hear others say something positive. Hopefully I'll be able to see what others see one day - for right now, it's just me and my Zumba shoes.

Planning Ahead

2012-02-22T23:57:00.003+03:00

On days that are going to be especially busy I do tend to worry a bit of how I'm going to accomplish everything I need to do as well as stay on track with eating right and working out. It takes a bit of planning (which sometimes takes quite a bit of time in itself) but it is possible, and after my day yesterday, I know it's totally worthwhile putting in that extra bit of planning, no matter how tedious it may seem.

The main thing I had to keep in mind for the day is that I was

eating out with friends at night. We were going for sushi, which for me is pretty much the only place I don't mind eating out. However, I know that sushi isn't as healthy as some of us would like to believe - I think there is a way that you can eat healthily (avoid deep fried rolls, stick to sashimi, stay away from the ma

yonnaise based sauce, ask for low sodium soy sauce etc.), but you have to watch what you order. {Here's a good article on Healthy & Unhealthy Sushi ingredients.} In any case. I knew I'd be eating out so I wanted to watch my calories for the breakfast and lunch and enjoy dinner without overdoing it. Anyway. With that in mind, I adjusted my food accordingly and managed to enjoy all my meals without a problem.

My workout didn't go as planned. I had originally planned a light cardio warm-up, body balance class, and then some boxing training - wasn't sure if I'd have the trainer with me today, so I was just going to do some basic footwork and core strength training. Just as I had finished my cardio warm-up, the electricity went out in the entire gym. Luckily it didn't affect me much because I was done with the machines --- I was ready for Balance class. Unfortunately, nobody showed up for class today so it got cancelled ... so I went on to do my boxing training. I first started with the jump rope -- I don't know how I'm going to manage to jump for 6-minutes in a row. I find it TOUGH!! Still, I know that the only way to get there is to practice, so I did. I jumped and I jumped and I jumped. I went at it for 20 minutes (though probably only jumped 10 of those 20). I just had to keep pushing myself. It's like I had a constant monologue running through my head - Come on, jump! Keep at it. Don't give up. You think you're tired, but you're not. You've got to push through etc. etc. etc. -- It was both mentally and physically exhausting ... but I'm determined to complete that 6 minute stretch. I don't know how long it'll take, but I'm going to to keep trying until I get there! After about half an hour of my own training I met up with H to do some proper training ... and He.Worked.Me.Out! OMG - punch after punch after punch -- I had my hand wraps on, but when the skin peeled off my knuckles and I started bleeding a bit (how hardcore does that sound? lol) I put on my gloves and really went at it.

Throwing a few punches may not seem difficult, but it really is an amazing workout. Everything matters - your stance, your poster, firm core, concentrated movements etc. It is not easy, but it felt incredibly good to hit something. Very cathartic indeed! Anyway. After an hour I was done. what I really wanted to do was lie down right there and then on the gym floor lol - I was very happy to have booked a massage for that afternoon. I felt like I really needed it!

So, a good day overall. Still didn't manage to get a good night's sleep. I think it's got to the point where I'm going to need to take something tonight so that I can actually sleep for 5 hours. That's all I'm asking for ... 5 hours of sleep. We'll see.

Challenging Yourself vs. Fooling Yourself

2012-02-21T23:01:00.000+03:00

I took the day off from the gym yesterday so that I could catch up on some of my errands and hopefully ease some of the stress that I've been feeling and finally get a good night's sleep. Totally wishful thinking on my part. I'm just glad that I have the next 6 days off of work. Hopefully I can get some rest -- the insomnia is now starting to hurt. Right now I'm existing on 2-3 hours of sleep per night for the past week and the occasional 10-15 minute power nap. I'm definitely hurting!

Still, life doesn't stop nor do the workouts!

NROL4W - Workout B2 today.

It went quite well. I really, really enjoy lifting weights, and I do like seeing myself get stronger each day. Since this program is only 3 sets of 6 reps I feel like I can push myself a bit more in terms of trying a heavier weight though I am being careful - don't want to risk injury.

I didn't post my numbers last week, so here's my chart so far:

	Feb. 14, ‘12	Feb. 21, ‘12
Dead row/squat	25 kg	35 kg
Single leg squat	5	9
Wide grip lat pull	41	48
YTWL dumbbell	5	4
Swiss ball crunch	100	100
Prone jackknife	20	30
Lateral flexion	24	30
Prone cobra	18	30
Interval training (15 min)	1.65 km	1.68 km

Part of Workout B includes HIIT after the weights workout. I've been doing ok, but I don't know if I'm pushing myself as much as I could ... again, finding that balance between challenging yourself and doing too much is tough when you're working out on your own. Still, today I pushed it a little more. I guess the trick is to just keep upping the intensity whenever I can and take it from there. Last week I did 4 1-minute jogs/sprints at 8.5 km/hr. This week I did 2 @ 8.5 and 2 @ 9.

On the note of running and challenging yourself ... there's a 10K coming up in a few days that one of my friend's is running. Actually, what he and 5 others are doing is much more amazing than the 10 km run -- they're actually running 240 km (from the north of Kuwait to the south -- that's just under 150 miles)!! It's estimated to take approximately 50 hours - can you imagine?

You can read a bit more about the run here.

Well, on the 25th there's a 10K support run that I'd love to be a part of. This is exactly the kind of thing that I want to do ... eventually. Well, actually I want to do it NOW, but I don't think I can. I've been going back and forth between challenging myself to do it or just waiting for another time when I'm better prepared. The 10K is not the problem - it's the running that's the problem. If you've been following my blog, you know that I'm not a runner. At the moment I can't even run 1 km! I don't know what's holding me back from pushing myself to run more ... I mean, I am trying little by little, but maybe I need to take it to another level. If it's something I really want to do, then don't I have to try harder? The thought of "I can't" is constantly lingering in the back of my mind ... I need to get rid of that thought, but it's so much easier said than done! In any case, I feel really disappointed in myself for not being in the shape I need to be to run a 10K. I workout for hours ... but running, aargh! Anyway. The only thing holding me back is me ... so I just need to push forward and challenge myself.

Anyway.

So, this morning - weights, a bit of cardio, physio for my knee, a good cool down session and then off to work ... then went back to the gym this evening for 3 km on the treadmill to warm-up before Zumba. Don't know how I'm pushing through without much sleep ... I'm definitely knackered now ... perhaps I'm exhausted enough for some sleep tonight?!

FMM - Travel

2012-02-20T22:15:00.000+03:00

I've had quite a productive day - finally! Thought I'd take a break and participate in Kenlie's FMM!

1) Where did your most recent trip take you? I just got back from an amazing 3-week trip to Argentina. Absolutely fabulous!

2) Is there a place that you'd like to visit that you haven't yet? If so, where? The first place on my list is Italy! I can't believe I haven't been there yet!

3) Do you travel lightly, or do you cram as much into your luggage as possible? I used to travel with a TON of stuff. I've become much better, though I still find it quite challenging. It's especially tough when traveling for different types of weather. This past trip to Argentina ranged from insane heat to freezing temperatures - and pretty much everything else in between. So I had beach wear as well as glacier wear! Not easy ... Although I manage to only travel with one suitcase ... inevitably I bring back a second! (It's the shopaholic in me!)

4) Do your eating and exercise habits change when you travel? If so, how?

I try to incorporate some sort of physical activity when I travel. If there's a gym in the hotel I'll use it. I also do sit ups, lunges, etc. in my room. I don't exercise daily, but I often find that my days of travel are much more active than my non-gym days here in Kuwait! As for food, I try to eat in moderation and be sensible, but I also don't deprive myself of anything. For the past year and a half I've managed to travel (for weeks at a time) and not gain any weight or even lose a few pounds, so I'm pleased with how I've managed to sort out my eating habits while away.

5) Tell us about a place you've been that you'd like to go back to.

Definitely Argentina. The country is so massive and there's so much left to see. I'd love to go back to France, and of course I'll go back to the States any time!

6) Do you prefer to travel at a certain time of year?

No - I'd travel any chance I can get!

7) If you had to choose, would you go to the beach or the mountains?

Beach/cities -- I don't mind some quiet time, but I don't do too well in isolation!

8) Have you ever needed a passport to travel?

I got a passport soon after I was born! My first 'signature' is a fingerprint! :)

9) Do you collect anything in your travels?

I used to collect mugs, t-shirts, keychains, and other trinkets like that. Now I'll look for a unique piece of art or perhaps some sort of unique kitchenware -- something that I can actually use.

10) Where do you plan to go next?

My next trip is probably London, but that'll be for my PhD. For vacation, perhaps Sweden, Norway, and Italy? We'll see!

Ok, your turn. Answer this week's topic on your blog and then come back here and Kenlie's blog to post the link.

Gearing Up!

2012-02-20T18:27:00.000+03:00

Today was a much needed day of rest. I'm sure that part of my insomnia has to do with all the tasks that I have yet to complete ... after yet another practically sleepless night I thought - Ok, it's time to get some of this stuff sorted. Hopefully it'll alleviate some stress and I can finally get some sleep ... and that will hopefully boost my workouts as well - Fingers crossed!!

Today turned out to be the perfect day to stay home and catch up on my work because I was greeted by the arrival of a few packages.

First of all, my New Balance sneakers finally arrived. For some reason, they don't seem to sell New Balance shoes here anymore. I ordered my first ever pair online - risky move, I know - but they fit like a dream. I have since totally worn worn them out. I wanted the exact same model again, but of course this time they didn't have my size. So, I've taken a bit of a risk (again) in buying this model ... I hope they are comfortable. If they are, you can be sure that I won't be waiting long to order a back-up pair!

My new Polar heart-rate monitor also arrived! I've been wearing a standard heart-rate monitor for when I do cardio on the machines, but I have nothing to measure how many calories I'm burning during classes like Zumba or RPM -- hopefully this will help!

I also got a few new gym t-shirts, sports bras, and a neck pad for the barbell for when I do squats (I would use the one at the gym, but I've seen all those sweaty guys use them - eeew.)

Of course a bit of non-fat icing on the cake was a new pair of heels - just in time for spring (which I hope is around the corner!) :)

So, after a day of rest, productivity, new gym gadgets, and shoes ... I'm hoping for a good night's sleep and a fresh start tomorrow!

Trying to Warm Up

2012-02-19T21:15:00.002+03:00

Although I did get about 5 hours of sleep, I feel like I struggled to get started all day today. I guess it's normal to feel like that at the start of the week. I just didn't feel prepared for the week at all.

It's mornings like these that really bring out my indecisiveness. First I was debating whether or not to go to the gym ... since I didn't take a day off last week I contemplated taking today as a rest day. At least that would have bought me more time in terms of getting ready for the week.

In the end, I went. I knew that if I didn't go my routine for the rest of the week would get messed up.

I did NROL4W - Phase 3 Workout A2 today. I definitely felt improvements from last week's workout. I managed to knock some more time off my 1 km warm-up. I also increased a few of my weights ... I have definitely run out of weights to use in the studio - I'll have to go into the main weight room for the next time I do this routine. The matrix of squats and lunges were also good. I'm getting used to the jumping, and as I said in a previous post, my legs definitely feel stronger!

I finally re-started my physiotherapy for my knee. I need to make sure I do the exercise at least 5 times a week.

I have felt a bit more pain than usual today. Maybe it has something to do with yesterday's RPM class? I'm not sure. I'll just keep monitoring how bad it gets. I'd give it a 5/10 at the moment. I do find it quite distracting and uncomfortable!

In any case, I'm glad I completed my workout. The day did start to improve with a good session with my class and then a yummy salad for lunch, and then work work work.

I do feel like I'm in a bit of a funk and just trying to push through my days ... I know that's probably not the healthiest of attitudes right now, but it truly is all that I can manage at the moment.

Eating right and keeping on moving ...

Spinach Chick Pea Salad

2012-02-19T14:23:00.002+03:00

I'm not a fan of making salads, but today I was just in the mood. I just grabbed a few things out of the fridge and started to chop them up ... this is what I came up with.

Ingredients:

1 hard boiled egg

1 1/2 cups chopped spinach

1 medium red bell pepper diced

3 large mushrooms diced

1/2 cup chick peas, rinsed

2 tablespoons feta cheese

12 halves walnuts

2 tablespoons Ken's low calorie raspberry walnut dressing

Directions:

1. Combine all the ingredients together!

Simple enough directions ... but you've got to make sure you have enough time to wash and dice all the veggies.

It came out much better than I thought it would. I hadn't intended on adding the boiled egg (I don't even remember the last time I ate a boiled egg ... plus it's usually just egg whiles for me, but today I ate the yolk too). I was also hesitant about adding the feta and walnuts, but they really did add flavor. All in all, quite delicious and very easy to make!

Nutritional info: (1 serving)

383 calories

24.3 g. protein

48.1 g. carbohydrates (11 g. fiber)

32.9 g. fat (6.5 saturated fat)

Week in Review

2012-02-19T13:04:00.000+03:00

Yesterday was a tough day. The lack of sleep and my stress really brought me down. I was literally having trouble staying awake the whole day ... you may be thinking, well why not just sleep? Two reasons, I had a ton of things to do, and if I could sleep that easily, I wouldn't have insomnia.

I did, however, manage to take a 12-minute power nap. I know that sounds crazy, but it did help me get through the day.

I've had a lot of stuff on my mind lately and I know a lot of that has been keeping me distracted. I did manage to take the first steps in resolving some of those issues yesterday {I know it's a bit vague, but I'm not ready to share it all just yet}. It must have helped some because I finally managed to get 5 hours of sleep (of which 3 were uninterrupted). Hopefully things will continue to improve.

Despite the exhaustion, I did go to the gym. I decided to keep things 'simple' and just do an RPM class. I haven't been to class since the 29th of Oct -- pre-surgery. I was definitely a bit nervous as to how I would feel ... but it went quite well. My legs actually felt really strong so I didn't find the actual pedaling or intensity to be too difficult. I started to feel a bit of pain towards the end of the workout. Unfortunately I did feel it worsen a bit later in the evening. I'll have to reassess whether this is something that I will continue. It did feel good doing a different form of cardio though.

So -- my week in review. I think I did pretty well. Dropped another kilo this week. Not much, but as long as I see those numbers keep going down I'll be happy.

Weight loss progress:

Feb. 5 - 60 lbs. to target weight

Feb. 12 - 56 lbs. to target weight

Feb. 19 - 54 lbs. to target weight

{When I write those numbers down, the journey feels overwhelmingly endless!}

Exercise:

Sunday: Weights (NROL4W 3A1 - 1 hour)

Monday: Cross-trainer (1 hour); Treadmill (30 min)

Tuesday: Weights (NROL4W 3B1 - 1 hour); Zumba class (1 hr)

Wednesday: Boxing (1/2 hour); Body Balance (1 hr)

Thursday: Cross-trainer (1 hour); Zumba (1 hr)

Friday: Body Pump (1 hr); Zumba (1 hr)

Saturday: RPM (1 hr)

Total: 11 hours

Food:

Breakfast: oatmeal each day/yogurt and granola on one day

Lunch: salmon sandwich (The whole week! It was quick and easy - plus had to use up the fresh salmon!)

Dinner: vegetable soup; spicy salmon (no potatoes); shrimp stir-fry; veggie scramble

Snacks: Protein shake; low-fat organic raspberry yogurt; cottage cheese with cashews; homemade gluten-free banana nut muffins; chocolate pudding (fat free)

Daily averages:

1,450 calories

88 g. protein

172 g. carbohydrates (19 g. fiber)

41 g. fat (10.5 g. saturated fat)

Reflections:

In terms of working out, I think I'm doing quite well. I'd like to add another hour or two of cardio into the mix as well as at least one more yoga/balance/pilates class -- I just don't know if I have the time! I definitely feel like I'm getting stronger - makes such a huge difference to my workouts.

In terms of food, for the amount I'm working out, the calorie allowance is quite a bit higher, but I cannot imagine eating more than I already am. I've really made an effort to track all my calories and diligently focus on nutrition. I'm still not eating enough fruit -- I hope to add that into my diet. I also really, really, really need to eat more protein. I'm struggling with this!

I'd still like to lower my carbs and saturated fat intake. They're not horribly high, but still, I'd like them to be a bit lower. This week I ate quite a bit more bread than I usually eat -- all those salmon sandwiches! I'm sure cutting those out of my diet will help cut the carbs ... maybe I can even add a bit more salmon to increase my protein.

Plan for the week:

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, this week I will definitely focus on staying more hydrated. I'm going to try to drink 4 liters a day.

I didn't take any days off from the gym last week, so I may take a day off to recover this week.

I'm going to try and add some fruit to my daily diet and see what I can do about lowering my carbs and increasing my protein.

Here's hoping this week shows even more progress!

Still Struggling to Sleep

2012-02-18T04:46:00.003+03:00

Another restless night - I'm not sure if I even got 3 hours. I'm very frustrated. I know that I have a lot of things on my mind and my stress levels are quite high at the moment ... not being able to sleep just adds to the frustration and stress. So much for having a restful weekend ...

Each week I'm trying to figure out how to make simple changes to my lifestyle that will enable me to get healthier. This week my goal was to increase my protein intake. Since I don't eat meat - red or white, it does become a bit more of a challenge. I do eat fish, and I know that fish is a great source of protein ... it's just that it can get a little bit tiring. In any case, I definitely upped my protein intake this week, but it is still a work in progress.

This week my focus is going to be on making sure I'm drinking enough water. I think I'm quite

lucky in that I don't struggle to drink water as many people seem to do. I drink at least 3 liters (100 ounces) of water a day without a problem at all. However, I do think that with the amount I've been working out lately, I should try and increase it to 4 liters (135 ounces) on a daily basis.

Recommended water intake on a daily basis (drink more when exercising):

2.7 L (92 ounces) per day for women

3.7 L (125 ounces) per day for men

If you are overweight, you should drink an extra 8 ounces for every 25 lbs. of excess weight.

These are just recommendations. The numbers will vary depending on your daily routine, your nutrition, the climate you live in, etc. I would just use these as a rule of thumb rather than a strict guideline.

Still unsure of how much water to drink? You can use an online calculator to help you out:

http://nutrition.about.com/library/blwatercalculator.htm

http://www.csgnetwork.com/humanh2owater.html

Something I read that I really took to heart: If you're thirsty, your body has already started to become dehydrated.

This week I'm going to try to drink at least 4 liters (135 ounces) of water per day [pure water, not fluids, e.g. coffee, milk, juice etc. ... just water.] We'll see how it goes!

A few articles I read on water & weight loss:

http://www.laststopfatloss.com/water-for-weight-loss

http://www.shapeupshop.com/weightloss/water-weight-loss.html

http://darrenstehle.com/tag/water/

Not Enough Sleep

2012-02-17T14:45:00.002+03:00

I didn't sleep well last night -- I don't normally sleep well anyway, but last night was terrible. I got about 4 hours of mega-interrupted sleep. I was waking up every 15 - 30 minutes. I don't know what was wrong because I was definitely very tired by the time I got to bed ... I was not a happy camper when I woke up this morning :(

Anyway.

Despite the lack of sleep I still made it to the gym this morning. Warmed up with 20 minutes of cardio - am still working on picking up my running, which is slowly but surely improving. Within the 20 minutes I ran/jogged for 5 1-minute intervals. I hope to keep improving on this. Then I went to Body Pump class followed by Zumba class.

Two hours and 20 minutes of exercise ... on probably just about two hours and 20 minutes of sleep!

I've got a ton of work to do, so gotta get to it and push through the sleepiness and exhaustion.

Shrimp Stir-Fry

2012-02-17T11:50:00.000+03:00

I have been obsessing about getting more protein lately. So last night I thought I'd make a shrimp stir-fry. Lots of veggies + 200 grams of shrimp = delicious!

The photo shows just a small portion of the stir-fry served on a low carb spinach tortilla. I had intended on having the stir fry in a wrap but in the end decided against it. The calorie info below does not include the tortilla.

It did take some time to dice all the veggies, but it was totally worth the time. The different flavors and textures came together really well.

Ingredients:

1 tablespoon sesame oil

1/3 cup onion, diced

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 tablespoon ginger powder

mushrooms (100 g. diced)

zucchini (85 g. diced)

broccoli (40 g. diced)

carrots (90 g. thinly sliced)

bell pepper (140 g. diced)

1/3 cup corn kernels

200 g. shrimp

Directions:

1. Heat oil in a wok

2. Add diced onion and garlic and cook for about 3 minutes

3. Add the vegetables and saute for 5-7 minutes

4. Add the ginger powder - mix well (can add a dash of water)

5. Add the shrimp and saute for another 10-15 minutes

It's as simple as that!

Nutritional info: (calories per serving/recipe serves 2)

225 calories

20 g. protein

20 g. carbohydrates (5 g. fiber)

8.5 g. fat (1.2 g. saturated fat)

Figuring things Out

2012-02-16T20:25:00.002+03:00

I went to bed last night feeling very achy and old. I was relieved that most of the stiffness in my neck and soreness in my lower back was gone by the morning - thank goodness for Deep Heat! Still, I didn't want to take any chances so I skipped my workout this morning (I only had one hour of cardio planned) in order to rest my neck and back a bit more. It's still not feeling 100% better, but it is slowly improving.

Despite the aches, I went to the gym in the afternoon and managed to complete my 1 hour of

cardio plus Zumba class :) [Can you tell I'm loving the class?! I can't wait to get my new heart-rate monitor and see how many calories I'm burning ... with the amount that I sweat, I'm hoping it's at least 400 calories!]

So far this week has been great in terms of workouts.

This week I've also been keeping detailed notes about what I'm eating. As I wrote last week, getting back into the swing of things has taken a bit of time, but overall I'm doing quite well. I know that I've been eating properly, but I know there is room for improvement.

There are so many blogs out there about nutrition and diet ... people share their plans and their strategies (not always implementing them though) and others comment and ask for advice. I think the bottom line is that you need to figure out a diet and exercise routine that works for you. The other thing to remember is that change, particularly proper weight loss, takes time. You can't expect the ten pounds you drop in one week on a liquid diet to stay off forever unless you make changes to what you eat/how you exercise for the remaining weeks of the year (your life).

For me, even if I'm on a low-calorie diet, if I don't exercise, the weight won't come off. I'll lose a few pounds, but then I'll stop. I have to exercise. I absolutely have to exercise ... plus watch what I eat. I know some people who can literally eat whatever they want and not gain any weight. I am definitely not one of those people! I also know people who can just cut a 200-300 calories from their diet and start to drop pounds ... again, that's not me.

I have to exercise hard and watch what I eat.

It has taken me time and it has taken a lot of practice, and I still have not perfected my routine. I am, however, getting better.

This week I have been focusing a lot on what I'm eating to make sure I'm getting the right amount of nutrition. I really, really, really need to up my protein intake. I'm getting half the required amount -- the real struggle lies in trying to figure out how to add protein without adding the calories.

According to the NROL4W program that I'm following, I should be eating around 1,800 calories a day (on a regular day when I don't exercise) and about 2,100 on days that I do a hard workout.

Yes, you read those numbers right.

Even if I stuffed myself I don't think I'd be able to eat that many calories. In my mind, 1,200-1,500 calories sounds good to me. The number 1,800 sounds insane ... as does 2,100. In any case, I promised myself that I would trust this process and follow the routine and the nutritional advice as suggested ... but I am struggling. I would love to completely trust the process, but my mind just does not want to accept eating that many calories ... we'll see how it goes. The true test is in the scale I guess.

In the meantime, I'm just watching what I eat. I need to eat more protein and lower my carb and saturated fat count a bit more - they're slightly higher than I'd like.

I guess the weigh-in on Sunday will give me a clue as to how this is working.

Marrakesh Vegetable 'Curry'

2012-02-15T17:12:00.002+03:00

I put the 'curry' in inverted commas because as a Bangladeshi, I wouldn't really refer to this as a curry (not much gravy) - but that's what the recipe I slightly modified this from (found on allrecipes.com) called it, so I have followed suit.

One of the main changes that I made in the recipe is that I dropped the amount of oil used (they used way too much in the original recipe in my opinion). I also omitted the spinach as I didn't have any at home.

Overall, it was really delicious. I didn't eat it with any bread/rice or other starch - just added 1/4 of fat-free yogurt to add a bit more protein and break up the flavor a bit. Chopping up the ingredients takes a while, but it also lasts for a few days, which is good because you can keep it in the fridge (or freeze it) for those days when you're in a hurry and can't be bothered to cook something healthy.

The protein content isn't as high as I would like it to be. Perhaps next time I'll have it with some fish to increase the protein but not add to the carbohydrates.

The picture below shows 2 servings of the curry plus yogurt.

Ingredients:

2 tablespoons olive oil

1 onion

2 cloves of garlic, minced

1 teaspoon turmeric powder

2 tablespoons curry powder

1 teaspoon cinnamon powder

1 teaspoon chili powder

1 sweet potato (medium)

1 green bell pepper (medium)

1 red bell pepper (medium)

1 cup eggplant (diced)

1 cup zucchini (diced)

2 carrots (diced)

1 (15 oz.) can garbanzo beans, drained

2 tablespoons raisins

1 cup orange juice

1/4 cup fat-free yogurt

Directions:

1. Heat oil and add onion, garlic, and spices - saute about 3 minutes (add one or two dashes of water to prevent burning/sticking to the pan)

2. Add all diced vegetables, except the zucchini, and saute for 5 minutes

3. Add the garbanzo beans, raisins, and orange juice. Simmer for 15-20 minutes, covered. Serve!

Nutritional info (calories per serving/recipe serves 6)

180 calories

5 g. protein

27.3 g. carbohydrates (6 g. fiber)

7.2 g. fat (1 g. saturated fat)

Quarter cup fat-free, plain yogurt

35 calories

3.5 g. protein

4.7 g. carbohydrates (0 g. fiber)

0.1 g. fat (<0.1 g saturated fat)

Stiff Neck

2012-02-15T14:42:00.004+03:00

Last night after Zumba class I felt a sharp pain in the back of my neck. I don't know why or how it happened, but all of a sudden, I couldn't move my neck.

Unfortunately, I woke up this morning and still felt terrible. My neck is totally stiff. It looks like I have terrific posture until I start moving ... which is when I just look strange! Anyway.

My intention for Wednesdays was just to do Body Balance, but I really wanted to start my boxing training at some point ... so today was the day to begin.

I went to the gym this morning, did my usual 1 km warm-up, and then got started on my

boxing. It's been a long time since I trained -- at least four months, so I am basically restarting with the basics. Aside from attempting 6 minutes of jump rope (which I found very difficult), the rest of the workout was some basic footwork plus some shadowboxing as well as some core training. Not too difficult, but definitely important basic skills to master before taking it up a notch.

After that, I did Body Balance class. It was nice to see some improvement since last week. I definitely think that my workouts and weight training over the past week have helped. I know it's early days still, but it's always nice to see some improvement in just a short time.

I also got to use my new Manduka yoga mat. I read that it was the best yoga mat out there, so I thought, why not. I needed a new yoga mat -- If I'm going to get one, it might as well be the best. I had no idea how heavy this mat was going to be (the mat + the canvas bag came to a total of 4 kg or 8.8 lbs.), which totally killed me on the international shipping and handling (paid more than the price of the mat itself!!! I have to get good use out of it!). Anyway. It was great. It really made a difference to my workout as I wasn't constantly afraid of slipping and falling.

I'll write a more detailed review of the mat in a separate post.

Another good workout day ... now I just need my neck to loosen up again!

Fulfilling Day

2012-02-14T19:38:00.000+03:00

Today was completely jam-packed.

This morning I did Workout B in NROL4W Phase 3 for the first time. I'm definitely loving this phase.

In general I like working out alone - I'm not distracted; I don't feel self-conscious; I can completely focus on what I'm doing and take my time while I'm doing it. There are other times, however, when I feel like it would be great to have a workout buddy. I have lots of friends at the gym, but none of them workout the same way I do (and I don't work out the same way that they do). I know that I could workout with a trainer, but I really want to finish NROL4W - and I have a feeling the trainers would have me doing a lot more than what's in the program ... but for once in my life I want to finish something I've started. This is a long journey I've chosen, but I am determined to get through - even with all the obstacles, and there have been many obstacles - namely, surgery, travel, and the never-ending PhD. In any case, having a partner to workout with on days that I do weights would be great so that I could have someone check my posture, so I could have someone spot me when I'm lifting heavier weights, and so that I could have someone really push me.

To say that I'd like someone there to really push me is not to say that I don't push myself. I do try. Still, I know that I feel apprehensive about some things, and I'd really love to be able to keep pushing through that ... someone to urge me through that would be so great -- I wonder if Jillian Michaels is free to train me?!

Anyway.

Back to today's workout.

I did my usual 1 km warm-up and shaved off another 30 seconds. I am determined to run. I am determined to run. Even if it takes me a year to train, I really, really, really want to be able to run without it being such a struggle.

Then on to the weights workout:

Deadlifts

Single-leg squats

Lateral pulls (wide-grip)

Back extension

YTWL (like doing the YMCA but with weights - and in the shape off YTWL)

Swiss ball crunches

Prone jackknives -- hello again my long, lost friend!

Lateral flexion

Prone cobra

... followed by 15 minutes of interval training.

I'm not going to go into all the details of my workout right now, but I just wanted to talk about 3 things ...

First of all, the wide-grip lateral pulls. I've been pulling 41 kg for the past few workouts. It's challenging. I can do it with good posture, but I don't find it easy. I had to wonder, will I never make it to the next weight ... the issue I had is that the next weight is 48 kg. That's a 7 kg jump! Seven kilos is no laughing matter -- would I ever be able to get there? One of the things I really like about only doing 3 sets of 6 reps is that you have a chance to take it to the next level. (This is what I meant about it being helpful to have someone to push you/encourage you). I knew that it was only fear that was holding me back from trying the next weight level. After doing 2 sets at 41 kg I thought - alright, enough is enough. It's only 6 reps. Surely I can try 48 kg for 6 reps. If it's excruciating or if I'm barely able to get the bar down, then I can change it back to 41 ... but at least let me try.

So I tried, and I did it. They weren't perfect (well, I maintained my posture, but couldn't bring it all the way down), but I tried. I just wanted to get it down to nose/mouth level -- and with a lot of determination, I was able to bring it down. So, next time, my goal is to aim for the chin, and then eventually the chest. Pulling at 48 kg was really difficult, but I don't want to go back to 41 kg again. I've had enough with that weight group.

The second exercise that gave me pause was the prone jackknives. Pre-surgery I had really improved since the first time I ever did the exercise. However, today was another story ... it had been so long since I had done the exercise. It's really challenging, and it puts a lot of pressure on your abs. With the pain I've been in, and of course my post-surgery tension, I had to wonder, would I be able to do it? The answer, of course, is yes. It's just about getting into the right framework. I've got to push the surgery out of my head -- I have fully recovered from the surgery. My incision is fine. That chapter of my life has ended. The pain, on the other hand, is another story ... but I'm fine with pushing through that as well. Anyway. Back to the prone jackknives -- I'm so happy that I was able to complete the exercise without much difficulty. It'll take some time before I'm back to doing 50 at a time, but I'll get there. I know I will.

Finally, there was the interval training.

I skipped the interval training after the Workout B's in Phase 2. I was just healing at that time and was in no shape to do the training properly. I'm a big fan of HIIT training, but I always wonder if I'm putting enough intensity during the 'high intensity' parts ... in any case, today I tried. It was only for 15 minutes -- 1 min hard, 2 min slow repeat. It was good. Perhaps I could have gone a bit faster during the 'hard' parts -- once again, that damn fear holding me back, but I'm pleased with what I did today. Next time, I'll take it up a notch.

Overall, great day with the workouts. I went back in the evening for Zumba class (loving it!!!) . So today I put in 2.5 hrs at the gym ... perfect just before dinner out.

Ok this has already become a very long blog post, so I'll post about dinner out later. It definitely made me realize something about my eating habits ... stay tuned :)

Hope everyone had a love-filled day!

NROL4W - Phase 3 & Cardio

2012-02-13T13:00:00.000+03:00

I started Phase 3 of NROL4W yesterday. It was great!

Workout A consisted of 7 main exercises and then a final matrix of squats and lunges ... my legs were shaking by the end of it.

Again, upon first glance the workout doesn't seem tough. Three sets of six for only seven exercises? No sweat ... how wrong was I?!

After some dynamic stretching, I started with a 1 km warm-up. I'm still aiming to run a complete km. It shouldn't be difficult. It's not difficult, but I just can't seem to run ... yet. I will get there. Today I just threw in 2 30-second jogs and completed the km in 9.57 minutes. I'm going to keep my warm-up the same for my weight training days.

Then I moved on to the weights. My right arm was still a bit shaky from Friday's Body Pump class, but overall I think I did well. As with any new routine it took me a bit of time to get each pose right and determine which weight to use. In the end, it was all fine -- really good, in fact. Can't wait to see how workout B turns out.

The matrix of squats and lunges at the end was quite challenging. Again, at first glance you'd think, 48 squats and 24 lunges (per leg) was nothing -- but half of each exercise involved jumping in between reps ... that definitely took it up a notch! I totally understand why they recommended a rest period that was double the time it took to actually complete the set!

So, the final numbers for Workout A1 in Phase 3 of NROL4W look like this:

	Feb. 12, 2012
One-armed dumbbell snatch	7 kg
Dumbbell single-leg Romanian deadlift	8 kg
Barbell bent-over row	25 kg
Dumbbell single-arm overhead squat	4 kg+8kg
Dumbbell incline bench press	8 kg
Plank (90 sec)	bw
Reverse wood chop	8 kg

Overall, it was really enjoyable. I don't see any problem with getting back into this routine.

Today was a pure cardio day - I worked out on the cross-trainer for an hour (7.67 km/671 calories), followed by half an hour on the treadmill (2.7 km/182 calories). My legs were really wobbly by the time I got on the treadmill. I didn't have any particular goal in mind -- I just wanted to walk for half an hour. I thought I'd change things up and walk on an incline (which I don't do nearly often enough). I kept it low, only at 2% ... but I hope to improve my stamina and endurance as the days go by.

I was hoping to have had time to restart my physiotherapy for my knee ... but it just didn't happen. I need to make it a priority from now on.

So far this week has started out great ... Looking forward to Workout B and Zumba tomorrow!!

Week in Review

2012-02-12T10:49:00.000+03:00

It was lovely to wake up this morning and see a 4 lb loss on the scale.

My goal for this week was to just get into a routine as quickly as possible - making sure to go to the gym, even if my workouts weren't as intense as I may have wanted to be, and eating healthy food, even if they were simple/boring foods.

Although I feel like I have been working out regularly and watching what I eat, I think over the past 2 months as my schedule started to become more insane than normal, I slacked off a little - not watching my portions as closely as before, skipping a workout or two in order to get work done etc.

All actions have consequences.

I know I can't escape the work I have. If I could spend all day at the gym, I would -- but I've got other responsibilities ... still, this is definitely a priority, so I want to make sure that I stick to it. I also want to make sure that I don't stumble into the same problem of slacking off once things start to get hectic again with my teaching, writing, etc.

I've seen that some people post what they heat and how much they workout on a daily basis. Although I do try to write about my workouts on a regular basis, I don't always write about what I'm eating ... so I'm hoping to write a weekly summary on Sundays -- the same day I'll weigh in each week, so that I can keep track of what I'm eating and what I'm doing to burn off that excess fat!

I've started keeping track of my measurements etc. from Feb. 5th:

Feb. 5 - 60 lbs. to target weight

Feb. 8 - 56 lbs. to target weight

Exercise:

Sunday: Treadmill (30 min)

Monday: Rest

Tuesday: Cross-trainer (45 min); Zumba class (1 hr)

Wednesday: Weights (NROL4W 2B4 - 1 hour); Body Balance class (1 hr)

Thursday: Cross-trainer (45 min); Treadmill (30 min); Zumba class (1 hr)

Friday: Body Pump (1 hr); Zumba (1 hr)

Saturday: Rest

Food:

Breakfast: 5 days/week - oatmeal; 2 days/week - egg white scramble

Lunch/Dinner:

Sunday: Cauliflower/potato with rice; Penne arrabiata

Monday: 1/2 baked potato w/1 T light cream cheese; Soup + grilled shrimp

Tuesday: Tuna-avocado salad; vegetable curry w/yogurt

Wednesday: Tuna-avocado salad; vegetable curry w/yogurt

Thursday: Roca salad w/salmon avocado maki roll (3 pieces); grilled cod w/carrots, peas, salad

Friday: vegetable curry w/2 slices toast and 1 T margarine; 1/2 loaded sweet potato

Saturday: 1/2 loaded sweet potato; vegetable soup

Snacks 2-3/day:

Mix of raw almonds, walnuts, pecans + dried cranberries and raisins (handful)

Protein shake

Coffee

Square of dark chocolate

Fat-free pudding

OK - there's my summary. I'm not too fond of the format that I presented it in -- I tried to insert a table, but it didn't work. In any case, I know I didn't include the calories of the meals at the moment, but I will for this coming week. This is just for me to keep track of what I did and what I ate ...

My diet is not perfect - I have a sweet tooth which is my biggest short-coming. However, I've found that 1 square of dark chocolate, or even 2-3 table spoons of the fat-free pudding (which is only 90 calories anyway), can satisfy me in terms of having dessert after dinner.

Sweet Potato vs. White Potato

2012-02-12T05:43:00.000+03:00

One common health food substitution I've been hearing about is to replace eating white potatoes with sweet potatoes. However, after Friday night's dinner, which was SO yummy, I had to wonder - are sweet potatoes really that much better for you, or am I just fooling myself? So I did some research - here's what I found:

Looking at them side-by-side, sweet potatoes and regular white potatoes seem to be nutritionally quite identical:

	Sweet Potato	Potato
Calories	103	163
Protein	2.29 g.	3.63 g.
Carbohydrates	23.61 g.	36.47 g.
Fiber	3.8 g.	3.8 g.
Fat	0.17 g.	0.26 g.
Saturated Fat	0.06 g.	0.04 g.

[Comparison from fatsecret.com - 1 medium, baked, with skin, no salt added]

After looking at those numbers, it didn't seem like that huge of a difference ... so what was the big deal? What gives sweet potatoes the edge? After reading some more, here are the two main reasons why sweet potatoes (which are actually not a type of potato) are said to be healthier than regular potatoes:

sweet potatoes have more antioxidants (which lowers the risk of certain chronic diseases such as heart disease and cancer)
sweet potatoes have a lower glycemic index, which means that it does not cause a spike in blood sugar levels - which often leads to more hunger, therefore more eating - therefore, the pancreas does not need to work as hard to compensate (so there is less strain on the body)

So overall, the sweet potato does have more nutritious value than the regular potato -- now I don't feel so guilty for enjoy my dinner with so much relish :)

The last line in the LA times article I read is worth quoting:

"A sweet potato isn't really good for you if it's fried and eaten along with a generous serving of mom's apple pie."

The final nutritional value of the food will always come down to portion and preparation -- so choose and prepare foods carefully!

Sources of information:

http://whfoods.org/genpage.php?tname=george&dbid=69

http://articles.latimes.com/2011/jul/01/news/la-heb-sweet-potatoes-weight-gain-201100701

http://www.foodreference.com/html/sweet-pot-nutrition.html

Loaded Sweet Potato

2012-02-11T18:11:00.000+03:00

I've never had a baked sweet potato on its own ... and I never thought it would be as delicious as it turned out! Pictured below is 1 portion, but it was so filling that I only ate half. The nutritional info at the bottom is for the entire portion.

Ingredients:

1 medium sweet potato

1/2 can 15 oz. black beans (drained, rinsed)

1/2 tomato, diced

1/4 teaspoon cumin powder

1/4 teaspoon coriander powder

1 teaspoon extra virgin olive oil

3.25 oz. crab meat

2 tablespoons low-fat cottage cheese

cilantro to garnish

Directions:

1. Bake sweet potato in skin until soft (about 1 hour); alternatively, microwave sweet potato on high for 7-10 minutes.

2. Meanwhile, mix together remaining ingredients - except cottage cheese and cilantro - and heat in a saucepan for 2-3 minutes

3. Once the potato is soft, slice in half, add bean/crab mix, cottage cheese, and cilantro

Enjoy!

Nutritional info: (calories per serving/recipe serves 1)

418 calories

31 g. protein

63 g. carbohydrates (12 g. fiber)

8.7 g. fat (2.75 g. saturated fat)

Stop Eating

2012-02-11T10:30:00.001+03:00

A few days ago, I sat down to have lunch - I had made my summer salad (taken from the NROL4W book) - and about half way through the salad I got full, really full. However, given that I had completed a good workout in the morning and intended on going back to the gym that evening, I forced myself to finish the entire bowl -- it was, after all, only one portion.

I have to admit that after eating the salad I felt beyond full. I know - full from just a salad? The beans, tuna, and veggies mixed together really fill you up. Although it was delicious, I know that by the end of the salad I was not enjoying it ... so why did I continue eating? Why didn't I just stop?

I really don't have an answer. I think it just had to do with the fact that I had carefully measured out and prepared the salad so that it was exactly 1 portion, filled with good nutrients, that I should finish it. I also didn't want to be finicky with my calorie intake. I wanted to be consistent with what I was eating and make sure I was hitting my daily target -- so I kept eating.

It's bugged me ever since. I should have stopped. I should have just put my fork down and said - wrap it up, put it in the fridge -- if you are hungry later, then you can have it ... it's already prepared, you know the remaining portion is ok to eat because it is part of your allowance, so stop eating already!!!

I really am still irritated that I continued to eat after feeling full ... anyway. Last night I made a loaded sweet potato for dinner (will post the recipe). It was unbelievably delicious. I mean I enjoyed every single bite ... but as I neared finishing the first half of the potato, I started to get full. I finished one half and pushed the plate away. I thought, let me wait 10-15 minutes, if I'm still hungry I can finish it ... if not, I'll just wrap it up and put it in the fridge for tomorrow ... and that's what I ended up doing.

Even though I knew I could have eaten that whole potato with all the fixin's without any guilt or going over my calorie intake for the day, I stopped eating. I was full, not bursting full, but completely satisfied full ... and I didn't feel hungry for the rest of the night/into the morning.

I'm definitely getting better at eating healthier foods and listening to my body - and recognizing the difference between what I need and what I want.

I wanted to eat the whole thing, but I didn't need to ... so I stopped.

Working through the Pain

2012-02-10T18:15:00.000+03:00

I'm still struggling quite a bit through the pain of my cramps and in general the fibroid pain, though I have to admit, it's the swelling/bloating caused by the fibroids that annoys me more. Still, I knew this morning I had a choice -- sit at home and let the pain take over or push through and go to the gym ... so I went to the gym.

Every since my Fugly Day in January I've had to take a step back and reassess how I wanted live my life. Having a doctor tell me that the pain is something I'll just have to live with for the rest of my life is totally unacceptable. Unfortunately I don't have the time or the resources to pursue treatment at the moment ... but I refuse to let it get the best of me.

It's not easy. Many days a flit in and out of depression. I don't talk about it because there really isn't anything anybody can do except sympathize ... I don't need sympathy. I do allow myself to take a moment, only once in a while, to feel some sadness. Although my post-op pain is gone, I'm back to a constant level 3 pain, with pangs of pain that I would rank 7-8 out of 10 on most days ... it's hard to just grin and bear it, but I do because the other option - sitting around moping about it - isn't going to solve the problem ... nor is that attitude or lack of movement going to help me lose this weight I desperately want to get rid of. I have 55-60 lbs. left to lose ... I've been plateauing at this weight for enough time - it's time to move forward. Pain or no pain, I've got to push through it.

I did Body Pump this morning with KD. Great class, though half way through the chest track I felt my right arm give way. I just could not find the energy to push up with my right arm. It was strange. I felt the same during the tricep workout ... I need to talk to her about it. It may just be that my arms are kind of 'asleep' from not doing any intense weights for almost a month. Hopefully restarting the NROL4W workout on Sunday will help me with that.

I followed Pump class with another Zumba session. Since I know the moves now I can concentrate more on my posture and holding in 'abs' etc. Hopefully I'll continue to improve with each session.

I have definitely found that movement eases the pain - somewhat. I may be pushing it a little, but so far I don't feel anything so severe that I can't handle. I did have really bad cramping this afternoon, but I stayed away from the painkillers (yesterday I had 8 - yikes!). I've already taken 2 today, but am really trying to resist taking another dose.

NROL4W - Phase 2 Progress

2012-02-09T21:16:00.003+03:00

Had a rough night -- bad cramps (got my period early, again! This is not a good sign) woke me up at around 2:15 a.m. -- couldn't get back to sleep so I got out of bed at 3 and have been up ever since.

Though I was hurting I kept reminding myself that several studies have shown that no matter how uncomfortable or even painful period cramps may be, movement helps ... so at 7:30 a.m. I went to the gym and successfully completed 45 minutes on the cross-trainer followed by 30 minutes on the treadmill.

I felt tired but better for having done some exercise ... though by the afternoon my cramps were so bad that they brought tears to my eyes. I tried to lie down but it actually made it worse - ironically the only position I was comfortable in was standing (even sitting was uncomfortable). It was all getting me a bit down so guess what I did in the evening? That's right - Zumba!! I'm already an addict. All that shaking and jumping around wasn't easy, but I pushed through -- it was totally worth the pangs of pain :)

So, definitely a good job on the workout front for me today with a total of 2.5 hrs of cardio. I'm still trying to figure out my weights schedule ...

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, Stage 2 of NROL4W was tough for me. Here were my issues:

1. I was recovering from major surgery, so I had to take it easy with lifting (as per my doctor's instructions)

2. The slow, halting start with weights (and cardio) meant I never really got into the groove with the routine, so each time I completed a session it was more out of obligation (to myself) rather than actual enjoyment, so that sucked

3. I focused on my writing, so I didn't have as much time at the gym as I would have liked, and my equipment at home was also limited

4. I didn't really enjoy the exercises that much -- I had trouble figuring out the differences between a lunge with the rear foot elevated, a Bulgarian split squat, and a reverse lunge from the box ... I really wish I had more than a book to help me get through some of these exercises ... but I tried.

5. As a result of my slow progression through this stage, I didn't feel the increase in strength and stamina as I did after Stage 1 (which I absolutely loved). I'm looking forward to feeling that burn and seeing that muscle tone again ...

6. Since I was slowly building up my cardio endurance, I didn't do any of the suggested interval training, so I definitely feel like I lagged on the cardio aspect of the program

After some contemplation I've decided not to redo Stage 2 but to move straight on to Stage 3. I should have a steady routine for the next few months so hopefully I'll be able to really get into the swing of things and see some progress.

In the meantime, here's my progress for Stage 2 of NROL4W:

Exercise	Pre-Surgery	Post-Surgery	Final
Front squat, push press	15 kg	10 kg	20 kg
Step up	8 kg	3 kg/hand (1 step)	8 kg/hand (4 steps)
Dumbbell 1-point row	7 kg	3 kg/hand	8 kg/hand
Lunge, elevate rear foot	10 kg	10 kg	20 kg
Push ups (body weight)	2x10 normal	2x10 on wall	2x10 normal
Plank (60 sec)	2x10 normal	2x30 sec on knees	2x10 normal
Cable horizontal wood chop	13 kg	5 kg	13 kg
Dead lifts from box	30 kg	15 kg	30 kg
Bulgarian split squat	10 kg	6 kg/hand	8 kg/hand
Underhand lateral pull	41 kg	30 kg	41 kg
Reverse lunge from box w/reach	5 kg	5 kg/hand	8 kg/hand
Dumbbell prone snatch	5 kg	6 kg/hand	8 kg/hand
Swill ball crunch	25	20	30
Reverse crunch	15	X	30
Lateral flexion	15/leg	12/leg rep	30/leg
Prone cobra	10 rep	10 rep	30

Not the most impressive numbers. I'm just happy that aside from the split squat I am back to my pre-surgery strength. Sure I would have loved to have seen more improvement ... but I am sure I will see it in the days to come.

Forging Ahead

2012-02-08T12:39:00.000+03:00

I woke up this morning feeling very sore -- I don't know if it was yesterday's cross-trainer workout or the Zumba workout ... nevertheless, it felt good to have that achy feeling in my legs again.

At times I really confuse myself. I love going to the gym, but still I struggle (quite regularly) with the decision of whether or not I should go to the gym. Take this morning for example. I don't teach on Wednesdays so I have the day free. I do, however, have my never-ending PhD to work on plus something scheduled for 2 p.m. that I have to prepare for ... so my question was, do I go to the gym this morning or not? My plan (that I fixed on Saturday) was to go this morning and do weights and Body Balance class and then tackle the rest of my errands ... so why did I wake up this morning wondering what to do? Why did I feel hesitation about going to the gym and completing the tasks I had set out for myself. They were not difficult. In fact, I was looking forward to them. I guess I just felt pressured for time. Everything would be a bit rushed.

In any case, I told myself to shut up and just stick to my bloody plan. So I did.

Wednesdays are my non-oatmeal breakfast days, so I made myself an egg white scramble with a bit of salsa - yum!

Then I squeezed in an hour of work before heading to the gym.

I finally completed Stage 2 of NROL4W (more on that below) and I went to Body Balance class (my first post-surgery) ... and now I feel great!

I'm a bit torn as to what to do with the NROL4W program. I struggled to get through Stage 2, mainly because I eased myself into it after surgery and also because I was incredibly wrapped up in my writing ... so it didn't get the commitment that it deserved though I am happy with my progress. Part of me is tempted to redo the whole stage before moving on to Stage 3 ... but after seeing my results today - the same as/slightly better than my last workout at the beginning of January - I guess there is not reason to go back ... plus I've heard that Stage 3 is much more interesting and challenging than Stage 2, and I'm definitely ready for that!

Body Balance was fantastic. I was a bit apprehensive, but it was fine. I've definitely lost a bit of flexibility, but I think after a few classes I'll be fine. I definitely want to try to work in at least 2 if not 3 yoga/pilates/balance classes per week. They really help me stretch out my muscles and also tone in general. Hmmmm my workout schedule may need a bit of tweaking.

Feelin' better each day :)

Gettin' Game

2012-02-07T22:10:00.001+03:00

Yesterday my day was totally thrown off sync since I woke up at 2:30 a.m. to watch the Superbowl live -- now that's commitment for you! I'm so glad the Giants won (after all, I am a NY girl at heart) and I'm even happier that this is the second year in a row that I won the Football Pick 'em League ($200 yay! Off to buy some new shoes!) :)

I thought that I'd go back to sleep once the game was over, but I started doing some editing ... and before long it was already 2 p.m. I'm really not sure how I managed to stay awake. I took a short break for lunch and then decided to make the most of the day off and continued to work until 8 p.m. So, no gym yesterday.

Today, however, after a good night's sleep (almost 5 hours, which is good in my book!), I headed straight to the gym for my morning workout. I'm still kind of getting back into the groove of things so I haven't come up with a fixed workout routine yet. So for this week it's just about showing up and doing something.

I got on the cross-trainer today -- the first time since my surgery. It was ok. I did experience some discomfort/slight pain but I realized that they were no longer post-surgical effects ... this is the 'normal' pain. I think I have totally recovered from the surgery -- so now everything that I'm feeling is 'normal' - the pain, discomfort, pressure, bloating ... I tell you, typing that out makes it really hard for me not to just hide under the covers and give up! However, I'm not giving up. I'm still going to push through all of this until I have the time and energy to further pursue other treatment options.

So, this morning I did 45 minutes on the cross-trainer (burned just shy of 500 calories and completed 5.64 km). I really love working out in the morning - it's a bit of an effort to get there (and then shower, get dressed, and make it to work on time) but at least it's done and out of the way ... The cross-trainer is not all I did today ... I went back to the gym in the evening and finally went to ZUMBA class -- YAY!!!! I absolutely LOVED the class. I can't wait until the next class! I'm already hooked :)

I'm definitely getting back in the game :)

Oh, made a yummy veggie curry for dinner last night - super easy to make and very low in calories - will post the recipe soon.

It's been a good day!

FMM - Habits

2012-02-06T13:42:00.003+03:00

Today has been a hectic day -- you'll get a proper post tomorrow ... in the meantime, here's an FMM post (and hopefully an update with The Happiness Project later).

If you've taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you're new, please take a moment to answer this week's question on your own blog and add your link in the comments section at www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers.

FMM: Habits

1. Are you proactive, or do you procrastinate?

I'm both - depending on the task. There are some things that I could do any day, all day - like menu planning, cooking, etc. When it comes to getting some writing done - I'm a mega-procrastinator ... but I'm working on improving that!

2. Do you eat breakfast everyday?

Yes - I never leave home without having breakfast.

In the winter I have a bowl of oatmeal and in the summer I have a bowl of cereal -- simple, boring, but since I want to have breakfast daily, I found that these two foods work best for me. On the weekends I may change it up a little - a whole wheat bagel with low fat cream cheese, whole wheat pancakes (homemade), or an egg white and salmon scramble - but for the most part it's oatmeal and cereal for me.

3. How much time do you spend watching TV on an average day?

On average I spend about 1.5 hours watching TV on a daily basis - usually just in the evening before bed.

4. Do you talk on the phone, or do you prefer e-mail and/or text message?

I'm a text maniac! I'm also a big keep-in-touch person - so phone and email are fine with me too, but I find that my main method of communication is through text messages.

5. Do you exercise in the morning, afternoon, or evening?

It depends on my schedule. Last semester I taught an 8 a.m. class, so I exercised in the afternoons/evenings. This semester I teach a 10 a.m. class, so I'll be at the gym in the morning (which is actually my favorite time to exercise).

6. Do you take time for yourself regularly? If so, how do you spend that time?

Not as regularly as I'd like. I do go for a mani/pedi every 3-4 weeks (though would love to make it every 2 weeks) and a massage once in a while --- other than that, I'm always up for treating myself to a new pair of shoes :)

7. How often do you make your bed?

Never. Hubby does it daily ;)

8. Do you plan meals? If so, how far in advance?

I love planning my meals. I plan on a weekly basis (earlier if it's a meal for a special event).

9. Do you wake up at the same time everyday?

I pretty much wake up between 4 and 5 a.m. on a daily basis, with or without the alarm. I like the routine of it, but there are some days when I wish I could just have a lie-in.

10. How often do you brush your teeth?

At least twice a day (morning and just before going to sleep) - sometimes in the afternoon as well!

Now it's your turn to answer this week's questions! Don't forget to come back and link up in the comments!

I'm Back!!!

2012-02-05T18:29:00.002+03:00

I know I've been MIA for 3 weeks, but before heading to Argentina I promised myself that I would just take a break from everything and enjoy my trip. I'm glad I made that decision - I had an amazing time. Argentina was FABULOUS! I enjoyed every single moment.

So for today, a few highlights of my trip and then back to the health/fitness focus of this blog.

Argentina

Stop 1: Buenos Aires

Buenos Aires was HOT. I know that may seem like a strange comment coming from me since I live in a desert country, but I don't spend that much time outside -- and Buenos Aires definitely involved a lot of time walking outdoors. Although the hotel I stayed at had a gym facility, there was no need to use it because each day involved a minimum of active 2-3 hours of walking. It actually felt quite good to have walking/that much movement worked into a daily routine in contrast to the sedentary lifestyle of Kuwait.

A trip to Iguazu Falls (north of Argentina) and a day trip to Colonia del Sacramento in Uruguay were also squeezed into this first week.

Iguazu Falls was spectacular! There were three trails (about 1.5-2.5 km each) that we completed. Each offered a different vantage point of the falls. I've always loved Niagara Falls in the States/Canada, but this really did take it to the next level. Pictures just don't do it justice.

Stop 2: Mendoza

The week-long stay in Mendoza involved a day-long hike to the top of Mt. Arenales (in the Andes mountain range). When we were told we'd go hiking - we just expected a small (easy) trail ... we had NOT expected a nearly vertical rocky climb! It was very challenging - the most challenging thing I've ever done for sure! We started at about 2,600 meters altitude and went up to about 3,800 meters. It's not a great distance - but add the rocky terrain and the steep incline and it's a whole other story. It was totally exhilarating! I now understand why mountain climbers and hikers get such a rush!

Another stop was to Aconcagua - the tallest mountain outside the Himalayas. This time there was a 2.5 km trail at the base of the mountain -- much easier than the previous hike! Again, the scenery was absolutely spectacular.

Stop 3: El Calafate

El Calafate was our final major stop of the trip -- once again, it's hard to describe how stunning (and different) the scenery was. Imagine the rolling deserted plains in a Western movie -- that's exactly how it was (at least where we were staying).

The most exciting part of this stop was going trekking on the Perito Moreno glacier -- phenomenal experience! The glacier itself was absolutely breathtaking ... again, pictures just don't do it justice.

The final activity in El Calafate was horseback riding! It had been many years since I had been on a horse - it was SO much fun!! This activity, however, left me incredibly sore (perhaps not such a good idea so soon after surgery) but still totally worth it!!

Now it's back to reality ...

Health/Fitness

Given the amount of walking and other outdoor activities over the past three weeks it would have been great to have seen a loss on the scale, but unfortunately I came back exactly the same weight as I had left. Of course I'm thankful that I didn't gain any weight - especially since I definitely indulged while on this trip - but now I have to refocus on losing, losing, losing.

Strangely enough I feel like my legs and arms are quite toned, but all the weight has shifted to my 'abs' (can I really call them abs?). I think this is just because of the type of food I was suddenly eating -- meat (yes, I did have steak), bread, and sweets -- all stuff that loves the waistline. Those three things are not a normal part of my diet here so I'm hoping that immediately cutting them out, and of course getting back to a normal gym routine, will help me at least shift (if not lose) the weight from my abdomen.

I got back to Kuwait on Friday and went in to work today (Sunday -- we work Sunday through Thursday here) -- definitely not enough time to recover from all that traveling. Nonetheless, I did go to the gym this morning - just a simple 30 min cardio workout on the treadmill. I just wanted to get straight into my routine. This semester I'm teaching a later class (starts at 10 a.m.) so I'll be heading to the gym for an early morning workout before going to class ...

I noticed that Zumba has finally been added to our gym class list!! I am BEYOND EXCITED!!

Today I fixed my menu for the week, went grocery shopping, and organized my schedule. I'm good to go -- let's hope for some good progress over the next few months!!

I'll be catching up on your blogs soon. Hope you've all been well :)

Ugh

2012-01-13T03:57:00.002+03:00

I'm writing, packing, organizing, and basically freaking out.

I leave for Argentina in a few hours ... my thesis is almost done ... almost, but not quite.

I'll update when I can ...

Fingers crossed it all goes well.

A Fugly Day

2012-01-11T23:50:00.000+03:00

Today sucked.

There's really no other way to put it. It was just one of those days that didn't start out right ... Well, I guess nothing really went wrong ... but nothing felt right today.

I woke up early (3 a.m.) and was at my desk ... I found myself stuck on one particular section of my writing and it was driving me insane. How can it be that at this point in my PhD I am still struggling with my words? It's so frustrating. I felt totally inadequate and unintelligent.

After working for a few hours I decided to take a break and try on a few clothes that I wanted to take for my upcoming trip. Talk about kicking myself when I was down ... Everything fit, but nothing looked right. I just felt disgusting. About a week before that time of the month I bloat so much -- apparently a natural reaction for the fibroids -- but let me tell you, it's no fun looking like you're 7-8 months pregnant when you're NOT! What's worse is that when I look in the mirror, I see someone who looks like they sit on the couch all day with nothing but a bag of cookies and ice cream for comfort -- that is so FAR from the truth ... but that's what I look like. Going through those clothes just made me feel an overwhelming sense of dread. I want to enjoy this trip and not be riddled with so many insecurities and so much self-loathing.

I then had to go to the university to proctor an exam. The exam was supposed to be two hours long. I thought I'd get some editing done while I was in the room -- but half an hour into the exam the director came in and said I could leave ... I should have been thrilled, right? No. I would have rather stayed the whole time. I couldn't get anything done in the half hour I was there - instead it felt like such a waste -- getting ready, driving to work, and then proctoring. Anyway.

I decided to go to the doctor since I hadn't been to see her for almost two months. I was dreading this visit. I knew that she wouldn't have much to tell me. I just mainly wanted to see if by any chance there were any improvements. There weren't. I asked her several questions about my condition and what the chances were for improvement and how this would affect my weight loss etc. She didn't have any answers. She was just like, 'It could get better, or get worse, or stay the same." Thanks genius. That was helpful. The worst part was towards the end of my appointment when she told me that it was expected that I would feel emotional after going through major surgery and then not having it be successful - but that I should let it go and just get over it.

Seriously?

What kind of doctor says that? The surgery was unsuccessful and you'll continue to be in pain for the rest of your life, but just get over it.

Nice.

Now I know my whole theme for this year is "Let it go" but the way she said it was NOT what I had in mind. I think I've done a good job pushing forward and not letting the whole surgery thing get me too down -- it's been hard. A lot harder than I actually let on ... but there's nothing else I can do. Having the doctor tell me to get over it, however, is a completely different story. I was not happy at all.

I met up with my BF at the mall and we had a chance to vent a little, have some lunch, and buy a pair of Timberland hiking boots :) so for two hours things were better ...

Then it was just a whirlwind of things to do -- general errands/household stuff, pre-travel stuff, and of course the never-ending PhD ...

Things are hectic and my stress levels are high -- I know I'm getting close to finishing everything, but I still don't see the finish line. Will I ever see it? I'm running out of time.

Pumped Up

2012-01-10T18:53:00.001+03:00

I cannot explain how sore my arms are from Sunday's workout. Even raising my bottle of water to my lips was painful. My biceps and triceps were killing me!!

Nevertheless, I made my way into the exercise studio for another Body Pump Session. Working through the pain was tough. The chest track, although easier than the last session, was more difficult because of all the soreness I was feeling. I have not done chest presses in MONTHS, so doing chest presses for 4-5 minutes in a row with very little rest really challenged me and woke up a few muscles that I haven't used for a while. Ouch.

Still, I love that class! It's the last one I'll do for quite a while, probably not until the summer because of my work schedule from February, but we'll see.

My eating over the past few days has been fine -- very boring still, oatmeal for breakfast, nuts/dried fruit for a snack, egg white veggie scramble for lunch, and soup for dinner. I think I've have exactly that set of meals 4-5 times a week. I just can't be bothered at the moment to do anything different ... perhaps when I return from holiday. At the moment, I'm just trying to do the basics of getting a bit of a workout in and eat sensibly.

A Walk in the Mall

2012-01-09T22:41:00.000+03:00

I was just heading out the door to go to the gym this morning when my BFF called and suggested we do some pre-Argentina shopping ... I didn't say no! I headed back to my desk and got another 1 1/2 hours of PhD work done before heading to work to deal with final exam student conferencing (I hate student conferencing days - they should call it student complaining days)! Besides I knew that after a day of shopping, the last place I would end up is behind my desk ... gotta make the most of my time!

I felt a bit guilty about not going for my cardio session but with the way my legs now after 4 hours of walking around the Avenues I know I made the right decision. Although it was nothing like an intense cardio session, I am always drained after a trip to the Avenues!

My arms and legs are so sore from yesterday's weights + pump session - my biceps and triceps hurt every single time I move!!! Still, it feels good :)

Weights + Pump!

2012-01-08T13:47:00.003+03:00

I didn't leave the house all weekend. I stayed at home, in front of my desk the whole freaking time. This also means that I haven't been to the gym since Tuesday. Wednesday was my rest day from the gym ... but I didn't make it back on Thursday, Friday, or Saturday (though I had poor-excuse for a workout on Friday). Just typing out all those days makes me feel panicked. Anyway - today I definitely made up for it.

My intention is to finish Stage 2 of NROL4W before my trip. If Friday's workout had gone well, then I would just have 1 workout left ... but it didn't, so I still had two left to complete.

This morning I did my usual 1 km warm-up before starting Workout A. I managed to shave a few more seconds off my time (completed 1 km in 10 min, 2 sec). Then I completed Workout A properly. Having my home gym is great, but nothing substitutes having all the right equipment when needed!

Workout A went really well -- again, I'm so surprised at how just 7 different exercises (2 sets; 10 reps each) can make me work up such a sweat! I guess it's about quality and good form versus more reps/sets/exercises but without the challenge.

Then after my workout ... ... ... ... I went to Body Pump class! I had not been to Pump class in 7 months (SEVEN MONTHS!!!) -- Ever since I started doing the NROL4W program, I stopped doing Body Pump (if you haven't tried the class, I highly recommend it). Since KD was back, and since I didn't need to be at work till a bit later, I decided to go.

It was awesome, but OMG after doing my normal weights routine, lifting weights for another hour was absolutely killer!! I haven't decided what hurt the most ... I think the 100 something lunges per leg was the toughest - my legs were SHAKING! Still, I felt amazing after class - though I'm sure I will pay the price for today's intense weights session in the morning!

A clip of Les Mills Body Pump (I'm glad our classes aren't this crowded!)

27 Rules

2012-01-07T23:14:00.001+03:00

Read this great list in The Wall Street Journal -- Enjoy :)

This is the time of year when even people who hate the gym think about going to the gym. Many of us are still digesting whole floors of gingerbread houses, and jeans that fit comfortably in October are now a denim humiliation.

Sweating is a good way to begin 2012. Exercise, like dark chocolate and office meetings that suddenly get canceled, is a proven pathway to nirvana. But if you're going to join a gym—or returning to the gym after a long hibernation—consider the following:

1. A gym is not designed to make you feel instantly better about yourself. If a gym wanted to make you feel instantly better about yourself, it would be a bar.

2. Give yourself a goal. Maybe you want to lose 10 pounds. Maybe you want to quarterback the New York Jets into the playoffs. But be warned: Losing 10 pounds is hard.

3. Develop a gym routine. Try to go at least three times a week. Do a mix of strength training and cardiovascular conditioning. After the third week, stop carrying around that satchel of fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies.

4. No one in the history of gyms has ever lost a pound while reading "The New Yorker" and slowly pedaling a recumbent bicycle. No one.

5. Bring your iPod. Don't borrow the disgusting gym headphones, or use the sad plastic radio attachment on the treadmill, which always sounds like it's playing Kenny Loggins from a sewer.

6. Don't fall for gimmicks. The only tried-and-true method to lose 10 pounds in 48 hours is food poisoning.

7. Yes, every gym has an overenthusiastic spinning instructor who hasn't bought a record since "Walking on Sunshine."

8. There's also the Strange Guy Who is Always at the Gym. Just when you think he isn't here today...there he is, lurking by the barbells.

9. "Great job!" is trainer-speak for "It's not polite for me to laugh at you."

10. Beware a hip gym with a Wilco step class.

11. Gyms have two types of members: Members who wipe down the machines after using them, and the worst people in the universe.

12. Nope, that's not a "recovery energy bar with antioxidant dark chocolate." That's a chocolate bar.

13. Avoid Unsolicited Advice Guy, who, for the small fee of boring you to death, will explain the proper method for any exercise in 45 minutes or longer.

14. You can take 10 Minute Abs, 20 Minute Abs, and 30 Minute Abs. There is also Stop Eating Pizza and Eating Sheet Cake Abs—but that's super tough!

15. If you're motivated to buy an expensive home exercise machine, consider a "wooden coat rack." It costs $40, uses no electricity and does the exact same thing.

16. There's the yoga instructor everyone loves, and the yoga instructor everyone hates. Memorize who they are.

17. If you see an indoor rock climbing wall, you're either in a really cool gym or a romantic comedy starring Kate Hudson.

18. Be cautious about any class with the words "sunrise," "hell," or "Moby."

19. If a gym class is going to be effective, it's hard. If you're relaxed and enjoying yourself, you're at brunch.

20. If you need to bring your children, just let them loose in the silent meditation class. Nobody minds, and kids love candles.

21. Don't buy $150 sneakers, $100 yoga pants, and $4 water. Muscle shirts are for people with muscles, and rhythm guitarists.

22. Fancy gyms can be seductive, but once you get past the modern couches and fresh flowers and the water with lemon slices, you're basically paying for a boutique hotel with B.O.

23. Everyone sees you secretly racing the old people in the pool.

24. If you're at the point where you've bought biking shoes for the spinning class, you may as well go ahead and buy an actual bike. It's way more fun and it doesn't make you listen to C+C Music Factory.

25. Fact: Thinking about going to the gym burns between 0 and 0 calories.

26. A successful gym membership is like a marriage: If it's good, you show up committed and ready for hard work. If it's not good, you show up in sweatpants and watch a lot of bad TV.

27. There is no secret. Exercise and lay off the fries. The end.

Where's my infomercial and best seller?

Source: The Wall Street Journal

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203471004577140900388728374.html

Tangled in Time

2012-01-06T21:00:00.000+03:00

Any day that starts at 3 a.m. is bound to be a long one.

I woke up with a start just before 3 and knew that there was no way I would be able to relax and fall back asleep, so I got up.

I had a specific task that I was working on last night and I guess leaving it unfinished before going to bed kept haunting me - anyway, I got up and got it done. It's amazing how something that you thought would only take 1 1/2 hours or so can end up taking almost 4 hours - talk about gross underestimation of time!

Unfortunately this seems to be quite a trend in my life lately -- a task that shouldn't take more than an hour ends up taking three, or preparing a meal (even when the prep time on the recipe says '40 minutes' it always takes longer) ... or going to the gym.

The gym trip is always misleading. A one hour cardio workout does not include the 15 minutes to get ready, 20 minutes to drive there, park, get into the gym, the at least 5 minute cool-down, 20 minutes to drive back home, and 30 minutes to shower etc. That's not even including any conversations you might have with friends at the gym (minimum of an extra 15 minutes added on, though for me it's more likely an extra half hour to one hour ...). So that one hour workout ends up being 2 1/2 - 3 hours out of your day.

Of course it's totally worth it, but I definitely feel the pressure when I'm working under so much stress ... luckily my home-gym is building up nicely. Well, part of it is D's, but I also got a few nifty additions for Christmas - a Reebok step (for step aerobics, not a step machine), some Kettlebells (I love Kettlebell workouts), plus a Zumba DVD - complete with Zumba sticks!!

So today, I decided to cut out that 40 minute drive to the gym and just workout from home. Even getting started at home can sometimes be a task. I wanted to start at 6:15 ... but I was in the middle of writing something so I postponed it a bit, and then I had to put the clothes from the washer into the drier ... etc. etc. I didn't get to the 'gym' until 7:15 ...

I started with the 20-minute quick Zumba workout for my cardio (LOVED IT!!!) and then proceeded to do NROL4W - Workout A4 (Stage 2) - that's when I hit an obstacle. The trouble with the weights etc. that I have at home is that I don't have much variety ... like I don't have 8 kg dumbbells or a combination of 22 kg plates to put on the barbell (I found out the hard way that going from 20 kg to 26 kg for front press squats is TOUGH) ...

So, I did what I could (only half of the program) and called it quits. Sometimes it just wasn't meant to be. I noted my reps but I'm not counting this as a completed workout. I'll attempt it again at the actual gym.

Still in that Chair

2012-01-05T22:53:00.000+03:00

I fully intended to go to the gym today - or at least do some sort of workout at home -- but it didn't happen. I just could not get away from my desk. It's amazing how much I still have to do to get my thesis in the shape I want it to be in. I'm definitely frustrated. I travel in a week and I'm so busy with my editing that I can't even enjoy the build-up to the trip ... oh well. I've just got to focus on getting it done -- so unfortunately no workout today, just more ass-enlarging. *sigh*

At least I've been eating well - today I made a delicious cauliflower soup (will post the recipe later) and not having any junk food in the house has really helped - so now I just munch on nuts/dried fruit whenever the craving arises.

*sigh*

It's tough not to feel overwhelmed - there's so much I want to be doing right now, but it'll all have to wait. All I can do is keep moving forward ...

Baby Got Back

2012-01-04T21:51:00.000+03:00

When I told D what I was going to post about today, he was not amused - however, after spending all day sitting at my desk, I'm posting about it anyway.

If you take a look at my blog you'll see that I've been working out. I go to the gym regularly; I try to give it my all. Like everybody else, I do have setbacks, but I try to do the work in hopes to see the results ... and I am seeing the results. My legs are starting to look trimmer, my arms are definitely looking more toned, my abs -- well, the abs are always the last part of the body to shape up so we'll just leave it at that -- what I'm most disgruntled about is my butt!

Ya, I said it ... and you know what, I directly blame my PhD for my ever-expanding, never-shrinking ass ... my theory is, if you're spending 8-9 hours sitting on your ass in front of a desk, there's only one direction your ass can spread -- and that's outwards! When I've given this explanation to my friends, they laugh ... but I'm serious! I know it sounds crazy, but I am SURE that sitting on your ass for hours on end will cause it to expand. Gluteus maximus - seriously, who thought of that? Why not a kinder name like gluteus minimus? Or better yet, just gluteus? With an adjective like maximus, it's absolutely hopeless -- especially as I don't see an end to the endless hours at my desk. No matter how much I workout, I truly believe sitting at my desk has hindering any progress in reducing/shaping my ass.

Oh well. Despite the frustration (plus the crankiness at having been at my desk all day) I've gotta admit that Sir Mix-a-lot makes it a bit easier to have a big butt ;)

Enjoy! :)

Starting to Run -- Very Slowly!

2012-01-03T13:54:00.002+03:00

Yesterday's post about The Happiness Project took quite some time so I didn't post about my workout.

I went to the gym early in the morning yesterday. I wasn't sure if I should have gone so soon after my almost 6 km walk just 13 hours prior ... but I needed to get the workout in because I had a busy day ahead. I managed to complete Workout B of NROL4W ... it was tiring, but it is going well. I really am enjoying this program. I was able to increase a few more of my weights (as well as shave off a few more seconds of my warm-up km -- I would love to be able to run that km ... I'll get there at some point ... it's still just walking for now).

Today I managed to hit the gym again ... I wasn't sure how quickly I'd be able to go to the gym 4 days in a row, but apparently, I am ready! I definitely feel my energy rising, and I think as I am getting closer and closer to submitting my PhD thesis, the adrenaline is really pumping and getting me to work faster. The sooner I submit, the more time I can spend on the gym - as well as on all the other errands that seem to have been completely ignored over the past 6 months!

Although my overall energy is improving, I do have to admit that I was tired today. I haven't been sleeping well - in fact, only 3-4 hours for the past 5 nights. It's finally starting to catch up with me ... it's the stress of everything that's keeping me up. I just can't seem to relax or stay asleep for long! The fatigue from insomnia really makes working out difficult. My goal today was just to walk -- I felt kind of trapped by my own overall fitness goal of improving with every workout. I think I had set the bar quite high for myself with Sunday's walk ... I wasn't sure I'd be able to walk as fast or as long today. In the end, however, I did -- I managed to complete the full hour -- and even threw in 5 1-minute jog/sprints at 6.7 km (very happy about that) and a final 30-second sprint at 7 km/hr. I know it's not much, but I was really happy that I at least got started. Overall I did the best I could and managed to improve a little bit. I think I could have jogged more, but I didn't want to risk overdoing it so soon. My legs are already quite sore (lunges/squats never help)!!

Cardio chart:

Date	Time	Distance	Av. speed	Calories	Maximum
Jan. 1	1 hour	5.9 km	5.9 km/hr	340	15 min @ 6.2 km/hr
Jan. 3	1 hour	6 km	6 km/hr	360	5 min @ 6.7 km/hr

Tomorrow will be a rest day for me. I don't have to go into work so I plan on sitting at my desk the whole day and getting a big chunk of editing done.

The Happiness Project

2012-01-02T15:39:00.003+03:00

This year I’m participating in The Happiness Project – sponsored by Rebecca at weightwars.co.uk. The project is based around the book and focuses on … well, finding happiness. I know that the search is not simple and it won’t be resolved based on a book … but I think it’s a good starting point.

So the first task is to come up with 12 commandments to live by/try to achieve or accomplish throughout the year.

Twelve Commandments

1. Start the day off by giving a little something to charity (This is something my mom got me started doing. Every morning one of the first things I do is put a coin into a jar. It’s not much – around 25 cents. The point is not the amount. The point is to start each day with the intention of giving to charity. The point is remembering how lucky we are despite how terrible things may seem at times. At the end of the there will be enough money to make a small difference to someone.)

2. Spend more time with my parents (I’ve been so busy over the past two years with my PhD and all my other stuff that I really haven’t spent as much time as I would have liked to (should have) with my parents … I plan to correct that.)

3. Eat well and exercise regularly (I am definitely doing well on the exercise front. I just need to continue to make sure I’m eating well too.)

4. Get things done – stop procrastinating! (Procrastination should be my FIRST name I do it so well … I get so distracted at times, or I just don’t want to get some tasks/work done – so I procrastinate … which only ends up making me feel more stressed about leaving things until the last minute. I’ve done this all my life – it’s time for a change!!

5. Read more (particularly non-PhD related stuff!) (I miss reading for fun. The past four years have been filled with reading journal articles and books about globalization, language, culture, and identity etc. As interesting as they were, I really miss picking up a novel and just enjoying it for reading’s sake, not because I need it for my thesis. I have many books on my ‘To read’ list … I need to tackle them.

6. Don’t skip out on something just because it scares you (This is something that was a frequent theme last year – there were so many things that I was intimidated to try, particularly when it came to exercise … afraid to go faster, afraid to lift more weight, etc. but in the end, I could do it and I would feel so proud. This year I don’t want that initial fear to be an issue. I want to have the confidence to just go for it!)

7. Be kind and patient (I believe these are two very important ingredients to a happy life!)

8. Have the courage to speak your mind (I often bite my tongue and don’t say what’s on my mind … in the end, the person who gets hurt the most is myself … and it’s MY fault. I need to have enough confidence and courage to know that my opinions count, and even if others don’t agree with what I have to say, my voice has just as much right to be heard.)

9. Put yourself first (I think there’s quite a balance to be struck when it comes to being kind … and putting yourself first. I guess this commandment would fall in line with ‘It’s ok to say no.’ A lot of times I feel obligated to do something even if I don’t want to do it, again, like I said in #8, it’s really just my fault for not being able to stand my ground and speak up for myself. This year, I will try to rectify that. It doesn’t mean that I will strive to be selfish; it’s about realizing that I’m just as important as other people.) [You have no idea how hard it was for me to just write that.]

10. Avoid people who bring negative energy (People have problems. Heck, I have a zillion problems, but there are some people who just really bring you down. The negativity and ‘woe is me’ attitude is constant … or they are highly critical of everything you do – though sometimes I think that is envy disguised as criticism. These people need to be dropped. I have enough negative voices in my head to deal with. I don’t need anybody else’s as well!)

11. Work hard and play hard (I’ve got to find a balance. I seem to either do one thing or the other. I’ve spent week after week at my desk not talking to anyone and being completely anti-social, only to exhaust myself or make myself ill so I couldn’t even see my friends if I had wanted to … not this year. This year I will strike a balance.)

12. On days when everything seems particularly hard and challenging – Don’t lose hope; remain confident and optimistic (Some days are just bad days. It’s ok to have bad days. It’s ok to take a day off from the gym or sleep in for a few extra hours. It’s ok to take a break … just don’t give up. ‘Fake it till you make it’ used to be a ‘commandment’ of mine … although I still believe it to a certain degree, I also think it’s important to realize when you just have to pause and give yourself a moment to breathe.)

Of course, my overarching commandment for the year is: Let it Go

The next part of this task is to share some secrets of adulthood – what are things that I have learned over the years that are worth sharing …

Secrets of Adulthood

1. This too shall pass – pain, heartache, sorrow are temporary; some take longer to pass than others, but eventually, things will get better.

2. Think before you speak – once you’ve said something, it’s out there. You can’t take it back.

3. Never make big decisions when you are emotional – this is related to #2 but slightly different. Anger, sadness, jealousy are very strong emotions – be careful what you do when you’re in a state of heightened emotions … as with #2, a lot of times things you say/do cannot be reversed.

4. It is better to give than receive … but don’t it be a one-way give/take relationship for long. I know people that are more than happy to receive, and while I am happy to give, after some time, I do start to feel unappreciated. If you’re always buying lunch for someone or always making the first move to arrange get-togethers and the other person doesn’t reciprocate. Stop. Friendship is a two-way street.

5. Others cannot read your mind – if you have something to say, SAY IT – This is something I still have a hard time doing. I often sit there with my teeth clenched and 1,000 thoughts racing through my mind … but I bite my tongue and don’t say anything. Well, now I think that’s rather foolish. It doesn’t mean you have to be unkind or aggressive – just speak your mind.

The final task is to come up with 5 goals revolving around a month-specific theme. This month’s focus is Vitality. I like the idea of having one focus for each month. I’ve found that trying to work on several goals at once can be very overwhelming. For me, the more overwhelming things get, the easier it becomes for me to just push my targets aside and say – it’s too much. I just can’t.

The idea of having monthly goals that revolve around a central theme is to work on mini-realistic, sustainable-goals so that they add up to big, positive changes by the end of the year (hopefully).

The five goals I’ve set to boost my vitality this month are:

1. Remember to take my vitamins/supplements daily (This may sound like a silly one to start off with, but for some reason I keep forgetting something so simple.)

2. Replace refined sugars with fruit (My biggest problem is my sweet tooth. Although I try not to bring sweets into the house, I still have a craving for sweets. This year I’m going to try and have more fruit to reduce the cravings for other sugary foods.)

3. Watch my carbohydrate intake (I think I’m doing fine nutritionally, but my carb intake is still high and I really need to rectify that)

4. Get more sleep (My insomnia often gets the better of me. My sleep over the past month and a half has been declining – I’m at about 4 hours/night at the moment. I really, really need to sleep more if I expect to have any energy to get me through the day and through my workouts!)

5. De-clutter (I have a lot of stuff … and frankly, I love my stuff!! Lately, however, it’s all getting to be too much. I just want to lighten the load and hopefully lessen some of the pressure I feel being bound to all this stuff … and by relieving that pressure, perhaps I will boost my vitality as well!)

Moving Forward (Still)

2012-01-01T22:36:00.005+03:00

Any year that starts off to dancing to great music with good friends is bound to be a good one – at least that’s what I’m hoping for!

At the end of each year in the past I used to frantically go around trying to finish things I started – make sure the dishes/laundry are done, cross of a few more errands on my list, etc. However, this year, it was different.

I felt like 2011 was the end to a frantic and chaotic year … and 2012 is the year that I’m going to be putting myself back together again and continue my journey moving forward – the title of my first blog post last July. This includes steadily working towards accomplishing each task that I have set for myself – not quickly rushing around to clean the house just before company comes over or going on a crash diet one week before a big event … no. I’ve got to be consistent and persistent!!

A lot of my resolutions for last year remain the same – lose weight, adopt a healthier lifestyle, spend more time with family/friends, and finish my PhD – so I don’t have much to add or change when it comes to the resolutions for this year. However what I do hope is different this year is the attitude/approach I take towards accomplishing these goals.

The over-arching goal for me is to just let it go --- I am haunted by so many things in my past that I often feel like I can’t move under all that pressure. A fantastic conversation with my boxing trainer (more details on that in a post later this week) really got me thinking. Since I am still recovery from my surgery and am not ready to go back into my boxing training he pulled me aside and started to talk to me about the importance of mental training as well – how having a clear mind, as well as a clear heart, can give me an enormous amount of strength. The conversation was like none I’ve ever had before and it is something that I’ve been thinking about for the past five days … The basic theme – Let it go – all the grudges, regrets, anger … as well as the bad habits – the idea that something is absolutely necessary, that I MUST have it, that it MUST be done right now, my way …

So that is my focus this year – letting go of bad/negative thoughts and emotions as well as the excess baggage I carry around my waistline and my house!! I hope that lightening this load will help me lighten the heaviness I feel in my heart more often than I should.

Of course I am committed to continuing my weight loss journey. I start this year 5 kg less than last year, but still heavier than my lightest (August 2009). I have no specific fitness goals per se – perhaps finishing the NROL4W program. My overall goal for fitness is to just keep improving.

On that note, I started off the year with a great cardio session. I was keeping a chart to track my post-surgery recovery progress … today I will start a new chart.

Date	Time	Distance	Av. speed	Calories	Maximum
Jan. 1	1 hour	5.9 km	5.9 km/hr	340	15 min @ 6.2 km/hr

For those of you keeping track, my average speed for my first cardio session after surgery was 4.3 km/hr – so I’ve managed to improve by 1.6 km/hr in just 3 weeks. I am really happy with that.

This is Day 1 of a new year … my goal for the rest of the year is to just keep improving this statistic in one way or another – go faster, walk for longer, burn more calories – whatever … I just want it to improve.

In addition to all of this, I have also joined The Happiness Project (hosted by weightwars.co.uk). To be honest, I do feel a bit skeptical about how much going through a project like this will really help my inner happiness … but it’s something that I’m striving to achieve this year, so I’m going to try it.

Since this is already quite a long post, I’ll write my entry for the Happiness Project tomorrow …

In the meantime, I’m sharing a quote and a photo that have inspired me and helped give me the confidence to try to let it all go …

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” – Lao Tzu

Farewell 2011!

2011-12-31T19:00:00.001+03:00

Yesterday was a day of rest for me - and boy did I need it! Not only were my thighs burning from Thursday's squats and lunges, but I was in quite a bit of pain ... I wonder if it had to do with the Swiss ball crunches + reverse crunches that I did or maybe it was the fact that I worked out two days in a row (a first since my surgery) ... It didn't feel like surgical pain; it actually felt like the 'normal' uncomfortable pain that prompted my surgery in the first place. In any case, for most of the day I didn't feel well at all (had to resort to painkillers unfortunately), but things seemed to get better by the evening. Perhaps it really was just a need for rest.

Despite the pain, I started today off with an early morning workout - a bit of cardio (went up to 6 km/hr for 10 minutes today, yay!!) and then Workout A for NROL4W. I really hope that I can finish the program before my trip to Argentina.

I guess the end of the year is a normal time to reflect on what went right/wrong -- and how to proceed in the upcoming year.

I do feel like this year had more downs than ups. I feel like I never really caught my footing. My PhD work (which is still not done) took over most of my time ... that resulted in fewer workouts than I would have liked, less time with my friends and family, and just overall stress ... put that together with my illnesses over the year and you can see that it's been a frustrating year.

I'd have to say, however, that one of the best things about this year is this blog. For me, it has been a great way to express myself and just keep a general log of how I'm feeling/doing day to day. The bonus has been an incredibly supporting network of bloggers out there - some of who I definitely consider friends even though we've never met.

The most important thing I learnt this year -- I am a lot stronger than I realized -- and that's what I'm going to keep in mind as I start this new year ...

For last year's words belong to last year's language

And next year's words await another voice.

And to make an end is to make a beginning.

~T.S. Eliot, "Little Gidding"~

Wishing you all health and happiness in the new year.

As the days go by - Part II

2011-12-30T12:12:00.000+03:00

I'm starting off today's blog post from where I left off in yesterday's post ...

Control.

I'll be the first one to admit that I am a bit of a control freak. I want things done MY way. I want to have control of everything that's going around me ... the more I feel like I'm out of control, the more I obsessively focus my energy and attention on minute details. For example, when I'm feeling really stressed and that things are spinning out of control, I'll focus on something that I can control - to the point of obsession, whether that means scrubbing the floor, organizing/reorganizing my closet, counting calories/restricting my food intake. While it may feel like I've got control over that task at hand, what it really does is distract me. In some cases it even compounds the problem. The bottom line is that my control/obsession issues were really holding me back ... I needed to learn how to let go.

Letting go of fear and dealing with control issues were things I tried to tackle in 2011 ... I think I did a good job - my confidence in swimming has increased, my fear of dogs is much, much more controlled - I no longer have a full-on panic attack but can just calmly stand (next step is to pet one!), if someone doesn't get back to me soon confirming/canceling plans we made then I no longer wait and obsess - I move on and do what I need to do ... I think all these things were positive steps, but I have also realized that it is a work in progress -- and indeed, three is a lot of work still left to be done!

Fear is what kept me from reaching my goals in the past - fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of confrontation, fear of pain ... but this year I thought "Fuck the fear. I can do this. There is no reason I cannot succeed."

So I went forward and gave it my all. I tried to keep pushing through no matter what.

Ironically what got in the way were things that were completely out of my control - health issues, family issues, etc. These are things I had not foreseen or planned for. I had not choice but to let go and roll with the punches. It was tough - really tough. I used to not be able to workout if I forgot my iPod and other silly things like that. This year I said enough was enough - it was time to grow up and realize that not everything could be controlled, and more that that, not everything has to be controlled! That doesn't mean that I will be able to completely let things go (I haven't come that far!) but I will definitely try.

I like that I am now able to tell myself - You CAN do this. You are strong. Try and you will achieve.

I definitely believe in myself and have more confidence in myself than I did a even at the beginning of this year - at least when it comes to my fitness. However, food/exercise is just one aspect of my life -- I still have a lot of insecurities and self-doubt. I have often thought, 'When I reach my goal weight, I will be happier.' However, I know that the happiness I am seeking is not hidden in my layers of fat. No, they're in my mind and in my soul ... hours on the cross-trainer will not take care of those mental demons. So there is still a lot to be done.

I take comfort in the fact that I have not given up. I am still driven and eager to make my life the best it can be. I have learned that I am strong and that no matter how far I've fallen down, there is a way to come back up again ... if that is what I desire.

With hard work, dedication, and patience ... anything is possible.

As the days go by - Part I

2011-12-29T15:34:00.000+03:00

As we get closer to December 31st there are more and more blog posts coming up about resolutions for the new year and lots of reflections about all that has happened in 2011.

As someone who has struggled with my weight for pretty much my whole life, I think the goal to lose weight and adopt a healthier lifestyle is no longer just a new years resolution - it's an everyday, all the time resolution.

There are really only two basic principles you need to follow to lose weight:

1. Eat healthy foods in proper quantities

2. Exercise

That's it.

Of course you can go into more detail and become obsessed with numbers (I've definitely been there) - calories consumed, calories burned, body mass index, fat to muscle ratio, basal metabolic rate etc. etc. - but I think it all comes down to being more vigilant. With everything you put in your mouth - ask yourself - will this get me to my goal weight? If not, put it down. If it will, go for it.

Sounds simple, right?

Well, if it was that simple, I would have been at my goal weight years ago. The truth is, I'm not. In fact I'm still so far from my goal weight it feels like I barely got started.

I know that on December 31st, 2011 I will be a few pounds lighter than I was on January 1st, 2011. I should be happy that at least I didn't gain ... but that's just not good enough - why didn't I lose more? How is it that I've worked out so much (granted not as much as last year) yet have not managed to lose more? I know that the lack of exercise during my recovery period has had an impact on my weight loss -- but still, it's not all that.

It's my food. It's got to be my food. I am quite careful about what I eat -- but I could be more vigilant about my nutrition. I will be more vigilant about what I eat.

It's all in my control. I just have to find the courage to stick to the plan and keep moving forward.

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PS - Had a great workout today -- I shaved a minute off my 1 km warm-up and finished the second round of Workout B for NROL4W. I managed to up a few weights and even tried the reverse crunches (which I skipped last time). I'm still not back to my pre-surgery strength, but I'm definitely getting there!

I also wore jeans for the first time since my surgery! I was very excited about that. They fit just fine, not tight at all and, more importantly, not uncomfortable/painful - which is what I was most worried about due to the healing incision etc. Now I can continue working towards fitting into a smaller size!! :)