I know what this is. This is my old OCD coming back in a different form. Before it was clean/organize to the minute details whenever I felt like I was not in control of my life. Seeing things that I could control take shape made me feel better (except for the side effects of the emotional eating that went alongside the OCD).
As I mentioned yesterday, my lack of structure is really throwing me off. Even when I've got a schedule, there are no real repercussions for me not doing something. I could sleep all day really -- but I'm not the type to sleep all day. If I'm tired, I'll sleep or take a nap, but you'll never find me lazing in bed unless I'm not feeling well.
So, I'm giving myself until Monday to finish this obsessing and then I will actually start implementing my plan. This doesn't mean that I'm off track now. I'm not sitting at home eating fried chicken and guzzling beer. I'm just a bit disorganized at the moment. I'm doing unhealthy things with healthy foods e.g. having a date or two instead of a meal or eating while standing or adding honey to my tea to satisfy my sweet tooth when I've never done that before!
I need to stop this. Just because something is a healthier option, in a natural state, or 'allowed' on some list doesn't mean that I should just mindlessly munch. No - I need to get back to being more mindful.
Great quote from Jodi Picoult. I do this. I sometime plan and plan instead of doing. I want to do it perfectly and end up not doing anything.
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate!
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