Eating, Training, and Sleeping

I'm back from my holiday! I had a great time in Las Vegas and Los Angeles, though my stay in LA was way too short! 

Aside from heading out to the States for a bit of R&R, the main purpose of the trip was to go to UFC 175. I got there about a week before the event, which is good because I definitely needed the extra time to get over the jet lag. 

Over the past 2 weeks I basically ate, trained, and slept (not much different to my normal schedule). I'm really glad I got as much training in as I did because the food was really tough to handle. Eating out 2-3 meals a day for 2 weeks was rough! I'll admit that despite my best intensions and effort to make healthier choices, I know that the foods I indulged in were really high in calories -- and even though I did exercise regularly, it wasn't enough to combat all the eating out ... 

Anyway. I just wanted to share a few pix of the holiday. 

Yay! Las Vegas!! I'm actually not a fan of Vegas at all. If it wasn't for the fight events, I definitely would have chosen a different holiday destination. 

Jet lag hit hard around 4 p.m. -- the best way to battle it was to head to the gym. 

I got in 4 gym workouts while in Vegas. I thought I would go easy with the weights but I ended up just continuing my regular routine and even managed to up the weights on some of my lifts! Happy :) 

To help get ready for the BJJ training seminars that were part of fight week, we moved all the furniture from the living room portion of the suite and made some space to do some drills. 

I completed 8 hours of BJJ training with Ryron and Rener Gracie. 

Here I am with the brothers!

Seminar Group Photo

In LA I stopped by CrossFit LA to say hello and get in a workout. OMG - I'm still sore from it (and that was 5 days ago)!! I tried pistols for the first time and did pull-ups (with a band) for the first time in over a year -- no wonder I have been so sore! 

Even though I was only in LA for a short visit, I just had to head to Jean Jacques Machado's BJJ academy for a training session. I can't even describe how warm and welcoming the atmosphere is here. 

This time I was lucky to meet the Master himself -- amazing man! 

I also got to meet Professor Jay Zeballos and attend his class. It was awesome! 

I was happy to show my support for Fighting Against Rape with my new patch. 

Heading back to the hotel after my final day of training and last day of my holiday -- it all went by so quickly! 

The best part of training on holiday, particularly attending seminars and meeting so many inspiring people, is that I've returned home with new motivation to tackle my goals for the rest of the year.

As always, there's much work to be done!

Back at the Gym!

How is it Thursday already???

It has been a busy, busy week - more furniture deliveries, more appointments, more errands ... but my biggest achievement this week was finally joining a gym!

As I mentioned a couple of times in my recent blog posts, there's a little gym close to my house. It's nothing fancy at all, but it's got everything I need.

What makes me happiness is that the first thing I see when I enter is a couple of boxing bags and several tires -- how perfect for me!

So, on Monday and Tuesday I went to the gym early in the morning. Early mornings really do work best for me, especially because at the moment I'm not working so I have no job to anchor my daily routine. It's so darn easy to just get stuck on the couch watching episodes of Come Dine with Me and Hoarders (2 shows that I've been watching a bit too much lately!). Anyway. On those two days I kind of just warmed my body up to doing exercise again - dynamic stretches, weights, some cardio, and then a cool down. I did my usual weights routine but with lighter weights than normal. It just felt good to get back in the gym.

Although I had my basic routine, I wanted something a bit more - so I decided to meet up with a personal trainer. I had my personal training session today. When I told the trainer about my normal routine, she was a bit unsure as to what to do with me. She said that I already had a good routine and that I looked like I knew what I was doing (which is the same comment the owner of the gym made the first day I went to workout). I told her I did know what I was doing, but I wanted something a bit more. I feel like she was a bit hesitant to give me something too challenging. I know she was getting to know me and she really didn't know my background so she needed to be cautious, but when she handed me a 4 kg dumbbell I had to kind of giggle as I handed it back and told her that I needed something heavier.

My main goals at the moment are to build up my strength so that it's back to where it was when I was doing CrossFit. I know it'll take some time, but I need to be sure I'm working in an environment that will support my desire to lift heavy (eventually). They definitely encourage weight lifting so that's not an issue, but I have a feeling that if they saw me load up the squat rack with 80 kilos (175 lbs), they'd freak out. Anyway.

She gave me some new challenging exercises to do and I'm happy to incorporate them into my routine. I was a bit surprised that she only gave me one routine - I'm used to doing 2-3 different routines a week partly to keep challenging myself but also to keep me from being bored. I think I'm going to take what she's given me and continue my own routine.

In addition to joining the gym, I went and checked out London Shootfighters - one of the top MMA gyms in London. Wow! I was so impressed. I didn't join them, but I did hang around for a couple of hours and watch a class plus watch some of their fighters train. Seriously jaw dropping amazement at the calibre of these fighters -- and this was just practice! The trainers were great - very warm and welcoming. I had such a great time.

As much as I would like to immediately jump in and join, I'm not 100% sure about it at this time. There are a few issues - particularly the commute there. Plus I'll be traveling soon so I don't know if I want start paying only to miss 3 weeks ... but it's something that I'm seriously considering. At least I checked it out and I know what I want to work towards -- very exciting stuff :) In the meantime, check out this fight featuring Michael Page (one of the guys I watched train at the gym) -- amazing!

Fight Club

One of the things I really, really wanted to do was train Muay Thai with Fight Club Kuwait.

The opportunity came up for me to do so, so I jumped on the chance.

This meant adding another 2 hour workout 3 times a week on top of everything else and back to back with my Kajukenbo class.

A big part of me was overwhelmed with the thought of doing that. However, it's what I really, really wanted. So I decided to suck it up and just get on with it.

My first day of training with them was on Sunday.

Since I had been on a 10 day holiday, I was doing my workouts at home/outdoors. So on Sunday, I was back at the gym in the morning. We also had a break from Kajukenbo, and Sunday was our first day back. With that in mind, you can imagine that I was a little bit apprehensive about whether or not I would have the energy to do it all. Fight Club's coach is notoriously known for long, intense warm-up sessions. I wondered, for a moment (or two), whether I had bitten off more than I could chew.

Anyway. We had a good Kajukenbo class, and then I rushed off to change and get ready for Fight Club. Luckily they're both held in the same place, so no travel was required, and I could at least stretch/sit for about 20 minutes between classes.

Our warm-up: 30 minutes of jump rope.

Ya. 30 minutes.

I tried not to think of the time. It was broken down into 3 segments (5 min, 1 min rest, 10 min, 1 min rest, 15 min). I just concentrated on jumping. On the first day the coach had techno music playing. I just imagined I was at a club dancing around :) It definitely helped! For the second class, there was no music. It was a lot tougher. I tried to find something to think about to distract myself from the time, but it was tough.

Overall, I'm pleased with how I did. I had to stop a few times, but I made sure I was still moving (doing footwork) even when I wasn't jumping.

After that, we got started on technique practice and drills.

I loved it. I still have to take it kinda easy because of my wrist (which has been healing really well by the way), but it felt so good to put boxing gloves back on and actually hit something!

In terms of doing 2 big workouts back to back, I know that making rest and food a priority, like I mentioned in yesterday's post, has really helped. I want to do these classes, and I want to do them well. Any hint of tiredness has to do with my mind more than anything else. I just have to believe that I am strong enough to do this (because I am)!

When I was driving back from class on Tuesday, I thought to myself, at the very least, it takes a lot of mental resolve to even get through the entire class (Muay Thai) without giving up. You have to really dig deep and do it. That thought was particularly relevant that day because we had had quite an intense Kajukenbo session just before that.

I love being physically strong, but the mental strength that I've been gaining through my MMA practices as well as my general fitness improvements has been priceless.

Winding Down & Gearing Up

We wrapped up our week of Kajukenbo seminars last night. It was a great experience. I learned a lot, and it just fueled my passion and enthusiasm to train harder, learn more, and keep practicing.

Just a few pix from last night's closing ceremony plus the previous day's outdoor training -- and then, stay tuned for some big news coming up in the next few days.

Team photo on the day of our beach training (Feb. 12, 2014) - this is actually the beach that's part of my regular gym

Gotta keep practicing those kicks! (Feb. 12, 2014)

The Grand Masters and I (Feb. 14, 2014)

My Coach - Sifu Ahmad & I 

Trust your coach & trust yourself -- and you'll be unstoppable.

Feb. 14, 2014

Learning a bit about Sambo during our outdoor training session on Feb. 13, 2014

Kajukenbo Seminar

This whole week we've got Grand Masters visiting from Hawaii and holding a Kajukenbo seminar. My days have been LONG - and they're not over yet.

Up and out of the house to hit the gym at 6:30 a.m.
Straight to work.
Home to eat a little and rest before heading out to the seminar around 3 p.m. and getting home around 10:30/11 p.m.

I'm tired, but it's all been great. A few pix of what I've been up to.

I finally got to learn how to do an ankle lock!! I've been wanting to learn this for ages! It's very effective :)

Morning MMA training -- blood and bruises are part of the process. 

Kajukenbo Ohana Kuwait

February 2014 Group Photo

Putting the Plan into Action

I had good time this morning as I researched different yoga poses to do for the Make a Change challenge. I came across the website Yoga Journal and spent ages browsing through the links. The site is terrific. It breaks down the poses by type and then for each type it gives you a variety of exercises with their explanations. I knew of a lot of the poses, but seeing them on the screen really helped me put together a plan of different yoga poses that I want to practice while my wrist heals.

Having my list as well as the MMA drills that I wanted to practice (bjj, kajukenbo, and kickboxing skills) made it much easier for me to get on the mat and actually workout. I hope that this will be enough to get me through the next 2 weeks while I'm away.

I leave for the airport in 2 hours -- time to get everything else sorted!

Ciao!

Video Highlights

A few fitness highlights from 2013

Meeting and Training with MMA stars in 2013

Hello 2014!

Happy New Year!!

The last few weeks of 2013 were really busy for me, as you can see from my lack of posting towards the end of the year. I just couldn't seem to find the time to sit down and write. On top of all that, I feel sick again and spent the last 2 weeks of 2013 with another bout of bronchitis (and it's still lingering).

I spent the end of the year in Las Vegas. D & I decided to fly out for UFC 168. Since we were there for UFC 162 this past summer, during which the outcome of the main event (Anderson Silva vs. Chris Weidman) was very surprising (Weidman won), we decided to go and watch the rematch. On top of that, Ronda Rousey, my favorite female fighter, was fighting (Rousey won, yay!!). The event was awesome, and although it was a very long way to go for such a short period of time, it was totally worth it!

A few highlights of my trip:

Meeting UFC Heavyweight Champion Cain Valasquez

Meeting Jessamyn Duke - Contender on The Ultimate Fighter Season 18 (TUF 18)

Meeting Shayna Baszler - Contender on The Ultimate Fighter Season 18 (TUF 18)

I met Grand Master Janice Somera earlier this year when she came to Kuwait to give a Kajukenbo seminar. Meeting her was really special for me as she somehow unlocked something inside of me that helped me dig deep and push forward, not just with MMA training, but with my approach to life in general. I don't think words can describe the positive and powerful influence she had on me. It was an absolute miracle that she was in Las Vegas at the same time I was -- being able to spend a few hours with her was a wonderful way to end the year.

Me at UFC 168

Team Rousey on board! 

So here we are, Jan. 1, 2014 -- I went back to my post from Jan. 1st of last year to see what I had written as my goals/expectations for the year. It was strange to read the goals. I feel like I accomplished a lot, but when it comes to actually looking at the list and ticking things off, 2013 was not a successful year for me. There are so many things I did not achieve (e.g. I gave up on my burpee challenge; I didn't run my 10km etc.) Is it strange that I feel like 2013 was a very good year for me yet I didn't achieve those goals? Maybe I need to keep track of all the things I did achieve that were not on my list of resolutions/goals:

- I became a certified Fitness Nutritionist
- I became a certified Fitness/Personal trainer
- I successfully completed the Whole Life Challenge twice (coming in 7th place and tied first respectively)
- I continued to consistently lose weight (though I did not reach my goal weight)
- I've made a lot of progress with my MMA training
- I feel like living healthy really is part of my lifestyle and I'm no longer frantically searching for the 'right way' to lose weight; I'm still tweaking, but I feel confident in knowing what I need to do and doing it

After writing all that down, I don't feel so bad. Of course there were many circumstances that I had not planned on during the year (illness, injury, out of town visitors, travel), but despite those, I think I did a good job staying on track.

I have only one overarching goal for 2014: Be healthy and happy. 

Each month I'll still be keeping track of my progress. Setting small monthly goals also helps me keep on track and keep moving forward.

Jan. 2014 Goals: 
(I'm still recovering from my cold & struggling with my wrist injury, so I don't think my physical activity will be too ambitious this month)

1) Daily stretching (minimum 15 minutes)
2) Complete 20 workouts
3) Drink at least 3.5 L of water on a daily basis
4) Post 2 recipes
5) Complete 1 abstract & sort through File 1 of research articles

The Only One

Three weeks ago, on a Tuesday, I showed up to Kajukenbo class. We had had a particularly grueling session on the previous Sunday, and I have to admit, I almost didn’t go. My body was sore, and I wasn’t sure I could take another class like that, at least not so soon. Still, I went, because after all, the only way I can improve is if I show up to class and train.

I was the only one that came to class that day. That caught me off guard. I was afraid that the class would be canceled, but it wasn’t. I really appreciated the coach for training with me even though I was the only one there.

If I had thought the Sunday session as tough, this one was even harder. It was pure one-on-one practice, ending with sparring like I’ve never sparred before. I left bruised all over my body, but totally exhilarated because it was quite an experience.

 That following Thursday it really took a lot of courage for me to get ready for class. I was literally beaten, but I knew that if I didn’t go, the fear would build, and then it really would be difficult for me to go.

Unfortunately that day class was cancelled. We didn’t have class until the following Tuesday (so 1 week had passed since my one-on-one training session). That Tuesday, I was the only one who showed up for class again.

I’ll was so nervous because I knew what was in store. At the same time, I felt slightly more confident. We had another great training session. I got to take advantage of the one-on-one time and ask questions about different fighting techniques. The extra practice was invaluable, and once again, I was so happy that the coach trained me even though I was the only one.

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Today was the first day of Ray Elbe’s women’s Brazilian Jiujitsu class (BJJ). I was really, really excited because it was an opportunity for me to actually meet other women who were interested in the martial art. Plus joining a course that involved training with a black belt in BJJ was sure to be an awesome experience.

I was the only one who showed up for the class. I was slightly disappointed because I really did want to meet others who shared this interest. Hopefully this was a one off incident and other girls will show up for future classes.

In the meantime, Ray and I had a great session – again, I’m so happy he still held class even though I was the only one. Although I’ve been doing BJJ with D at home, this was a different experience all together. We practice different Jiujitsu drills; he had me doing agility exercises – including cartwheels. OMG. When he said do a cartwheel I had to laugh out loud. I had not done a cartwheel since I was a kid! I am totally amazed that my legs left the ground and I didn’t fall over. I have to admit, it was fun J

The class wasn’t easy, but I enjoyed every single second of it. I left feeling like I had really accomplished something. I can’t wait to go back there next Sunday – even if I do end up being the only one.

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Being the only one in class has a lot of advantages – one-on-one attention; more focused, intense training; extra practice time. However, it also has a few disadvantages.

MMA training for women in a place like Kuwait is tough to find. As far as I know, there isn’t any proper MMA training at all. There are just a few classes here and there, which is what I’m trying to take advantage of. My fear is that although I don’t mind being the only one showing up, the coaches may think that it’s not worth their time (or money) holding the class for just one person. I would totally understand that, but I would really find it devastating. In the meantime, I’m going to keep showing up, and until other women join too, I’ll be focusing on the advantages of being the only one. 

MMA Fitness Training

Professional MMA fighter Ray Elbe will be leading a women's only training program here in Kuwait. Check out the pic for more details!

Here We Go

Today is Day 1 of the Whole Life Challenge. I'll write a few things about the challenge in this blog, but  my daily reflections will be in a separate blog I keep. If you're interested in following how I'm doing in the challenge, you can check out this site.

This morning I went back to my yoga on the beach sessions. I wasn't sure if I was going to make it. I had a late night on Friday and we meet at 8 a.m. on Saturdays. Anyway. I did make it, and it felt so good to be out there in the sun (though it was a bit hot at times) and get some deep stretching on. I think it provides a great counterbalance to all the MMA and weight training.

I tried two new poses today. One was a partnered boat pose. I think it was alright. I do need to make sure my back is straighter though.

The second one was a bit of a disaster. You go into a lunge and then hold one leg up with your hand. The leg and hand should almost be in line (under and over) with your head ... I couldn't manage that (yet). I almost didn't try it because it looked so difficult. Then I thought - why wouldn't I give it a go? What's the worst thing that can happen? I fall in the sand? I was also afraid that I wouldn't even be able to get my leg up -- but I did get my leg up and I didn't fall. My posture is all crooked and weird, but I tried. I'm going to use this first attempt as a marker to see how far I can progress with this pose.

In the afternoon I had a 1-hour BJJ session. It was fun. I'm really enjoying the fight simulation parts of my training because I get to see how the moves and techniques all come together.

me practicing my clinch followed by a leg-hook takedown -- I know, it looks like a big bear hug lol

My final workout of the day was the baseline workout that all participants of the Whole Life Challenge are required to do. Well, they don't have to do this exact workout, but we're all supposed to do something and then do the same workout in 8 weeks to check our progress. I did the official workout. I think it went alright. I still suck at running, but I gave it a go.

The workout was:
2 minutes - as many 25 yard shuttle sprints you can do (I did 12)
1 minute rest
2 minutes - as many rounds of 5 push-ups & 10 squats you can do (I did 25 push-ups & 50 squats)
1 minute rest
2 minutes - as many crunches you can do (I did 63)
1 minute rest
2 minutes - as many 25 yard shuttle sprints you can do (I did 13 -- which is surprising coz' I was so tired!)

I can't wait to see how I progress in 8 weeks!

Whole Life Challenge Day 1 Summary here.

Why Fight?

When I embarked on my ventures into mixed martial arts, I did it just for fitness. I transitioned from the Les Mills Body Combat class to actually hitting pads with a trainer -- what a workout! Not only did it burn mega calories, but it also relieved a TON of stress. It was from that point that I started looking for more structured classes that involved actual impact vs. 'air' boxing. (Several years ago I used to go to a cardio kickboxing class, and I loved it!)

As I was on the search for a something that involved more contact, I had to step back and ask myself -- is this what I really want? Do I want to place myself in a situation where I'm going to get hit or that I'm actually going to hit someone else?

I read a few books by fighters, looking for their motivation behind fighting. Some books were well written and entertaining, but none of them really gave me the answers I was looking for. Why did they choose to fight? What was it inside them that said - ok let me go beat somebody up?

While I was reading and searching for answers, I was also training. Then all of a sudden, one day when I was writing in my journal, the answer came to me.

It really doesn't have anything to do with fighting at all. So many things inside me changed through my training. Starting with the discipline of training itself (regardless of what type of training, this is a big step), to mentally preparing for what was about to come (hit or be hit), to physically building the strength and stamina to go through with it (cardio, weights, yoga) -- it was all coming together in one perfect package.

Fighting has nothing to do with striking someone. It's about defending yourself. What GM Janice Somera said (as I've mentioned before) -- you've got to believe that you're worth defending.

Finding that belief itself has been work. It's taken self-analysis, self-confidence, and a lot of effort to hack away at years and years of accumulated negative self-talk and self-hate. It's been the hardest part.

The psychological training behind fighting has really been what has kept me interested. I've had to really work on clearing my mind. I've had to work on figuring out how to stand my ground - both physically and mentally. I've had to work on breathing through the fear that you start to feel when someone approaches you with a clenched fist.

The training I went through - both the Brazilian Jiujitsu and the Kajukenbo seminars - emphasized a very key point. You learn how to defend yourself so you never have to use it.

That knowledge that you KNOW that you can protect yourself, that you can hold your ground, that you can take a hit and then hit back harder is powerful. It helps you stand tall. It gives you confidence. It allows you to walk down the street without being afraid ... and isn't that what we all want? To not be afraid of life, living, loving?

I haven't found all my answers. I have a long road ahead of me in terms of my training, but I'm enjoying this path of discovery.

I have moments when it all seems surreal (am I really leaving the house in a Kajukenbo gi with a wooden stick in my bag? What in the world am I getting myself in to?), but when other people think I'm crazy for getting involved in MMA training, I know inside, I'm not crazy. This is how I choose to train. This is how I choose to get physically and mentally fit. Plus, I'm worth defending ;)

Me leaving the house for the last day of our Kajukenbo seminar series - I've got my stick in the bag, ready to do some weapon training! 

Kajukenbo Ohana Kuwait Team

2013

Scheduling

While I'm not necessarily looking forward to getting back to creating lessons plans and grading papers, I am definitely ready to get back into some sort of routine. I really, really seem to flounder without any set structure. I'm good at sticking to my schedule once I have an anchor (like my class schedule, which I can't miss). Otherwise, I have a tendency to let things slide, especially if I have nothing for which I really need to leave the house. Anyway. Just a few more days of summer vacation left, and then I'll be back to work.

So this week has been quite busy with my Kajukenbo seminar. Three Kajukenbo experts (Senior Grand Master Al Dacascos, Grand Master Janice Somera, and Grand Master Robert New) have been flown in from Hawaii to lead the seminar. We're meeting every night this week from 4-8, which is a huge time commitment (basically 3-9 p.m. including driving time). However, it's been really informative and interesting so far. We've learned about some of the history of Kajukenbo as well as the principles behind the fighting techniques. We've learned a number of those fighting techniques along with self-defense moves. I'll have more to say about all that in another post.

Since I've been busy each evening with the seminar, I've been skipping my morning workouts, mainly because for whatever training we do during the seminar, I want to be sure that I can give 100%. I know that hitting weights and doing endurance cardio will probably leave me exhausted. This is too special of an opportunity to blow by being fatigued! So, once again, I've had to adjust my schedule.

I'm really interested to see how things fall into place once I'm back into work. I'm going to stick with setting some general guidelines (e.g. 7 hours of cardio a week, 3 lifting sessions each week, 5 MMA sessions each week, etc.). I'm going to try to keep it as realistic as possible. I mean, no sense in setting yourself up for failure, right? It's going to be hard deciding how much to do and when -- I don't think I'll be able to fit everything into my day. Not unless someone follows through with one of my birthday wishes to have an extra 3 hours added on to my day!

How do you manage to fit everything in? Do you find that inevitably you need to leave something out?

I'll leave you with a few pix from the Kajukenbo seminar plus a video of one portion of the Kajukenbo black belt test that took place on Saturday. Talk about intense!!

The Kajukenbo Ohana Kuwait Women's Team

Grand Master Janice Somera and I

One part of the test was to defend yourself from attackers - the SGM was calling out the defense strategies, and the candidate had to perform them against his attackers. I can't imagine remembering all the sequences plus performing them that effectively with such speed ... I see a lot of hours of practice ahead of me!

Searching for Resolve

This past week has been really difficult - from dealing with the loss of my aunt to facing a terrifying situation to just generally feeling out of sync. I've had so many thoughts and emotions running through my mind, but one of the main thoughts I woke up with this morning was about Tuesday's Kajukenbo class when I froze in the middle of the surprise attack sequence.

I realized that at that moment when I was attacked, my first thought was - I don't care. Let them attack me.

What a horrifying thought.

I have been doing all this self-defence and fighting mostly because I don't want to feel vulnerable or scared. Most of all, I don't want to be a victim. I do not want to see myself as a victim anymore.

I was mortified that after training for so many months, that was still the first thought that popped into my head. It was the first time I was put in such a situation, but still - why did I slip into being helpless? Why didn't I react?

I know that I reacted to the attack once I was rolled on the ground. The Jiujitsu training I had been doing automatically kicked in and I was able to escape. That in itself was a bit of a relief, but the fear was overwhelming.

I woke up this morning realizing that I didn't want to be the victim. I didn't want FREEZE to be my first reaction. I'm doing my MMA training to learn how to defend myself, to build my confidence in terms of knowing who I am and knowing that I am able to stand on my own two feet.

Maybe I needed that incident to happen at this particular time (when I'm feeling emotionally vulnerable as well) for me to realize what I really want. I know that after training in Vegas, I was really pumped about continuing to train. However, that was more about the physical side - getting the techniques right and becoming strong. Today's realization was more about what it actually means to me. How training in MMA was not to fight, but to be able to defend myself if I needed --- and most of all, to be able to stand in full confidence knowing that I don't need to fight because I already know I'm in control.

This is my goal. This is what I'm training for. This is what I discovered of myself this morning.

Then I saw this video for the first time -- it's amazing. It brought tears to my eyes because it moved me so much. So much of what Rener said rang true to what I was feeling and experiencing.

Please take a few minutes and watch this video - it's incredible. (If the video link doesn't work, check Gracie Bullyproof: Austin's 1 week transformation on YouTube or on my Facebook page Plumpetals Fit).

Legs

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.

That's all I could say with every step I took today. I didn't want to move. I walked around all morning and afternoon like I had something seriously wrong with me -- but it was just the impact of yesterday's workout. It was definitely a 'good' sore vs. an injury - but crazy painful nonetheless. I used to think images like these were cheezy -- but today I think there's nothing more accurate!!

My only thought was - how will I make it to Kajukenbo in the evening? The thought of walking down the stairs was painful enough, let alone the thought of running around during training.

Still, I went. I had to go to get over what happened last time. I didn't want my fear and hesitation to build. I already have enough trouble getting into the right mindset before my workout. I still have doubts and worry that I won't perform well or make it through class (will I ever get over this self-doubt??).

As my luck would have it -- legs were the focus of today's class. OMG.

There was a tiny part of me that wanted to protest - I did legs yesterday; I'm SORE!!!

However, I'm glad that the main part of me focused on thinking - SUCK IT UP! You're here to train. It's just muscle soreness. You're not injured.

So I went on. I kicked and kicked and kicked.

Then it was time for me to hold the pads so  my partner could have a go. After doing the first part, she was wiped out and had to take a break. That's when the assistant coach grabbed the pads and said, ok, you kick again.

So while others were resting (alternating between kicking & holding the pads), I was kicking the whole time - side kicks, low kicks, high kicks. I just tried to dig deep and keep kicking. At one point, I just stopped feeling and was kind of on autopilot, though still focusing on getting my form right and putting some power behind my kicks --- my high kicks definitely need work. They didn't feel high at all.

This was followed by squat holds against the wall, with our arms held straight out in front of us, for what felt like forever. I kept trying to center my focus, but it was tough.

Today was definitely filled with mental and physical challenges - trying to push through the pain, trying to keep the bigger picture in mind, and doing my best during training practice.

Overall, it was a good, challenging day.

Powering Through

The thoughts of my experience from yesterday still lingered this morning. They were unsettling. I really want to get over my fear. Usually I jump right into it - no fear, just brutal confrontation. Apparently this time I'm not feeling so brave. I know that I will continue to face/fight my fear, but I think the emotional impact associated with this one is a bit more intense than my other hesitations.

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I have 2 more weeks left of summer vacation. Part of me just wants to stay at home, relax, organize, and veg on the couch. Another part of me thinks - this is your opportunity, hit the gym for long, long workouts.

I'm doing neither. I've already started to wake up at 4:40 in the morning (I'd usually wake up at 4:30, but the extra 10 minutes is coz' I'm on holiday lol). I had started my morning yoga routine, but during my days of mourning, I didn't do anything much at all. So today felt like more of a fresh start (sometimes it feels like I'm always starting over).

I was in my gym clothes by 5 a.m. (to do my yoga), so there really wasn't much reason for me not to head out of the house soon after I was done. The only thing that held me back was my own listlessness. I wanted to go to the gym, but I also wanted to stay home. I found it ironic that at one point I was commenting on fitness blog posts yet I was contemplating not going to the gym and maybe just doing a little something at home.

Man, sometimes my head is really messed up!

In any case, I finally made it to the gym and started my workout by 9:30 a.m.

Today's focus was weights -- squats, deadlift shrugs, split squats, and step-ups (4 sets of 10 reps for each exercise). It's been a long while since I've done any of those exercises. I already feel sore - I'm sure I'll feel it even more tomorrow!

My cardio sessions were good. I didn't do much, just a total of 30 minutes. This evening I plan on doing some BJJ training.

On a side note, the MMA training room is coming together! I'm excited :) I'll post pictures once it is done.

I wore my new Saucony sneakers today along with my new Under Armour training gear. I love the little lace detail!