It was terrible, and I had a really tough time coping with this news. I was angry. Very angry. I went through huge bouts of depression and fury. [I still have the occasional bout.]
There were a few days where I just threw my hands up in the air and said: Fuck it. I don't care. However, out of the past 365 days I'm happy to say that most of those days were spent physically healing, getting on track with my diet and exercise, and fueling myself with determination that I will find a solution to this problem and when I do, I'm going to be in terrific shape to help the healing process go by quickly and smoothly.
I know that I was able to physically recover from this past surgery much faster than the previous one in 2008. This was simply because I had been working on improving my health and fitness; I saw the benefits as doing simple things like hoisting myself out of bed and lowering myself down onto a chair were not as difficult as before. It was still challenging, but imagine if I hadn't taken care of my health ... if I hadn't lost some weight ... if I hadn't done any strength training.
It was seeing these results that made me think - Fine. I may not be better, but I'm going to ignore this problem and keep exercising/eating right until I reach my goal. Even if I have a uterus that is the size of a woman's who is 6-months pregnant (very irritating when you're NOT pregnant!!!), I'm not going to let that be a reason for why I can't lose weight, become fitter, and thinner!
It's been a slow process, but I'm finally making really good strides and moving forward.
I still have daily pain, and some days are terrible. I still feel upset, but those moments are temporary because lamenting on my situation won't make me better.
I am finally ready to start researching further options to take care of this problem. I think I will try acupuncture for some pain management, because I really don't want to be taking pain killers if I can help it. Plus I've got a few numbers of some doctors in London and the States who I'd like to check with and see if they can help or at least advise.
I will continue to cope and make the best of the situation for now, but I really would like the problem to be solved. I can't believe that in today's day and age a handful of fibroids and adhesions are going to keep me in this much discomfort for the rest of my life.
So, it's time to tackle this upcoming year so that next year's post will be even more positive and have some good news.
In the meantime, I'll be exercising, eating right, and working on staying positive.