Getting used to Sleep

Ever since I was a baby, I have struggled with sleep. My nights were restless. I could never seem to relax enough to get a full night's sleep. Most of the time it was 4-5 hours of restless sleep. At the worst of times, it was 1-2 hours of restless sleep ... and I've gone through periods of time when I wasn't getting any sleep at all, just surviving on 10-20 minute power naps during the day -- and sometimes not even that.

After I cleaned up my diet and increased the intensity of my workouts, my sleep got so much better. Suddenly, I was able to get 6 hours of sleep without any trouble. The more I lifted weights and did my MMA training, my sleep would increase to 7 and sometimes even 8 hours a night. My whole lifestyle changed as I ate earlier dinners, slept earlier in the night, and woke up feeling refreshed with a good 6-7 hours of sleep a night. I would fall asleep immediately, sleep soundly throughout the night, and wake up ready to go.

What a change.

It felt amazing. I started to understand why people loved to sleep so much! Getting those hours of proper rest changed my day and of course they changed the energy I could put into my workouts.

In yesterday's post I wrote that I was feeling out of sorts. I think a lot of it has to do with not getting enough sleep again. Part of it has to do with all the travel. London to Las Vegas & Los Angeles and back ... followed by London to Bangkok and back. My body has been to too many time zones in a short period of time. For the past few days I've been feeling like I'm jet lagged all day.

These evening training sessions are not sitting too well with me. I just haven't figured out how to organize my food, training, and sleep in a way that will help me get the most out of it all.

Last night I finally got a good night's sleep. I got just about 8 hours and it made such a difference.

I've realized that I've got to make sleep a priority. During my insomnia, a 5-hour night would be an amazing night for me. However, now my body knows what it feels like to get 7-8 hours. I think I've become one of those people who says that they can't function on less than 8 hours of sleep a night.

I think with my current schedule getting that much sleep each night will be tough, but I do want to see how I can manage a full 8 hours of sleep during each 24 hour period.

This means that while I'm figuring out my schedule for September, the first thing I'm going to be blocking off is my sleep time. It's got to be sleep first, food second, and activity third (not to mention research, writing, errands, etc. etc. etc.).

I think for my birthday I'd like an extra day of the week please!

Adrenaline Perhaps?

I went to bed a little after midnight and woke up at 3 a.m. I'm talking wide awake, ready to go running type of waking up.

WFT?

I tried to relax and just loosen up to fall back asleep, but it didn't happen. So at 3:45 a.m. I got out of bed. I commented on a few blogs and then went about doing a few things around the house. It sucked. I really wanted to be curled up in bed and asleep. Why was I awake?

The only thing that I could think of was that I haven't exercised in the evening for the past 2 weeks. Maybe it was the late workout (ending at 7 p.m.) that had my adrenaline going? I know that when I started CrossFit I would be exhausted at the end of the day but after only a few hours of sleep I would be wide awake. My Coach told me that it was the adrenaline ... if this is the case, then I need to figure out a way to at least make up for the sleep somehow. With the workouts I have planned, I will not be able to survive on just 3 hours of sleep.

I am determined to get my minimum of 6 hours of sleep and eat regularly/properly. I've found myself feeling a bit too hungry between meals. I haven't counted calories in ages, but a run down of my calories yesterday (600-700 calories consumed by dinner time) made me realize that I need to definitely add more protein to my diet. I don't like feeling weak, tired, and hungry - obviously that is counter-producted to me getting in good workouts.

Back to the drawing board.

An hour of cardio scheduled for the day - and then, I plan on just vegging!

Sleeping

I had every intention of working out yesterday ... and today ... but I found myself caught in a deep sleep instead. Part of it is jet-lag and part of it is probably the lack of sleep and exhaustion from all the wedding events. In any case, as guilty as I feel about not working out these past two days, I do not feel bad for sleeping because, let's face it, I really don't sleep enough.

So, hopefully after a good night's sleep tonight I'll be good to go and ready to attach the rest of my semester and the rest of this year with energy and enthusiasm.

Today's main plan was to catch up on blogs (I believe I've made it to everyone's blog who posted in the past week), update my list of things-to-do (slightly intimidating with how much stuff I need to get done), and plan my food for the week.

My menu and grocery list are complete. I'm all set for food for tomorrow so now it's just about getting organized and putting the plan into action!

Not Enough

Today is the second day in a row where I'm starting it with less than 3 hours of sleep at night and ending it with just about 1,000 calories eaten -- both those things need to change.

I'm struggling in both areas and right now I'm just too tired to think about them -- I may post about it later. At this moment, I just know that I need more sleep, and I need to eat more.

Cutting out all the processed foods, dairy, sugar, etc. means that my calorie intake from my 'normal' foods has been greatly reduced. Now even when my meals are substantial (e.g. 1 cup of egg whites + 1 whole egg & mushrooms + tomatoes for breakfast), I'm struggling to eat up to 1,000 calories.

I simply have NO appetite. I'm still eating when I'm hungry, but I'm just not feeling as hungry anymore. I don't really want to eat just for the sake of hitting a number. At the same time, I do want to make sure that I'm eating enough so that my body has the nutrients it needs and that I have the energy I need to carry out my workouts.

Sleep is just as important. It freaks me out when I don't get enough rest (especially on CrossFit days) because I know I need to be rested to have a good workout.

It's really frustrating, and now I'm thinking about seeing a doctor about it. I just can't afford to be so tired that I miss a workout.

Today I headed to the gym to start Week 5 of C25K. It went quite well. I was tired (only 2 1/2 hours of sleep will do that to you) but I pushed through anyway. All the runs were fine and the walks in between were just enough to recover. Even though I managed to get through Day 1 of Week 5, I wonder how much better I would have done if I had gotten enough sleep?

I need to find a way to fix this.


In other news, today was another perfect WLC day :)

Much Rest Needed

In addition to the 4 points mentioned by Ryan about improving performance, I'd like to add a 5th:

5. Get a good night's sleep!

I would have thought that after yesterday's very successful CrossFit session I would have slept like a log -- but I barely clocked in 2.5 hours. It was horrible. I just could not get to sleep. I was tired, had no worries, had just had a good day ... why couldn't I sleep. Screw you insomnia!

I was busy doing errands etc. for most of the day but did try to take a nap in the afternoon - I think I dozed for 20 minutes ... definitely not the type of sleep I wanted before going to CrossFit, but oh well. You gotta make do.

I could definitely feel the impact of the lack of sleep on my workouts. We worked on overhead squats - I only managed to get up to 35 kg. I am pretty sure I could have gone up to 40, but my mind wasn't in it and my shoulders were so achy. We also did the split jerks. I got up to 40 kg - tried 45, but failed. Again, I was just fatigued.

Our WOD completely drained me.
4 rounds, 1 min each
- thrusters
- burpees
- pull ups (just did the best I could)
- box jumps
- tire flips (love those!!)

I was totally knackered. I think I could have fallen asleep whenever I hit the floor doing those burpees.

Oh well. I'm just hoping for a good night's sleep tonight before the start of a very long week.

Under a Fog

I have not been myself today.

I don't know if it's the lack of sleep, the bronchitis, the antibiotics, or the lack of working out for the past 4 days (that makes me cringe) - all of which are related to one another - but I am just not myself.

I couldn't take the choking cough anymore so I ended up going to the hospital last night. I understand that doctor appointments sometimes take longer than planned so patients have to wait, but that's why I scheduled my appointment to be the first of the day. No waiting, right? Wrong! The doctor arrived to work 40 minutes after my appointment was due to start. I was fuming. I knew exactly what I had, my annual bout of bronchitis, but no doctor wants to hear that the patient knows her diagnosis so I refrained from sharing. Two hours, two x-rays, a spirometry test, and antibiotics + antihistamines later, I was home.

I hate taking meds, so I know that is contributing to both my funk and my lack of sleep.

No cardio/strenuous workouts for me for a week. That in itself feels like torture.

This morning I sat down to plan my week's menu. My mind went blank. I couldn't decide what to cook at all. Nothing. No ideas. Even old recipes were uninspiring. So I gave up.

I went to the bank to take care of some work where I was tortured by the most incompetent bank employee who didn't know that the currency of England was the British Pound and that it was part of the United Kingdom. I'm not sure how I managed to leave the bank without strangling her, but I resisted. I don't like using the word stupid, but she was indeed STUPID.

I headed to the grocery store with no menu in mind and no list in hand. I never do that. WTF? My mind was just in a fog.

Nothing else to do but stock up on protein - meat and chicken for D, shrimps and fish for me, plus lots of veggies and some Greek yogurt. No brainer really. No junk food in the house means there's no junk food to eat.

I really wanted to go to the gym, even if it was just to walk, but seeing how winded I felt just carrying all the groceries up the stairs, I though I best listen to the doctor for now. I don't want a setback before I've even really started to recovery.

So I was restless at home for the rest of the day. I decided to de-clutter which always makes me feel better, though until the task is complete I do feel a bit anxious. Slowly but surely I'm making my way through the mounds and mounds of all the papers collected over the past 4.5 years of my PhD research.

I'm hoping that tomorrow the fog will have lifted and I'll be more like myself.

Several Attempts

I only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep last night. I spent a good 3 hours tossing and turning, practically in tears that I couldn't fall asleep. WTF? I'm on vacation. I have no stress. Nothing that needs my immediate attention. Nothing that was distracting me ... and I was still tossing and turning.

The lack of sleep is really fucking with me. There's no other way to put it. I can feel the impact on my body immediately. I'm not lethargic, but there's something inside that doesn't feel right. It's almost as if my organs haven't rested. I know that sounds strange, but I don't have any other way to describe the feeling.

Despite the lack of sleep I still made it to the gym this morning. Today was going to be the only day before traveling that I would have to get a boxing session in. So somehow or the other I dragged my truly hurtin' ass to the gym and headed straight to the boxing bag - didn't even drop my bags at my locker.

I had four goals for my workout this morning:
1) Boxing
2) Practice double unders
3) Practice box jumps
4) Practice pull ups

The last 3 were mainly to help me with my CrossFit training.

My boxing session started off a bit shaky. I found it hard to get the force into my arms, but by the end of it, I had a really good combo set to worn on and the power came out. My poor knuckles! They're still  red, but it was worth it!

I've really improved on my jump rope skips. I can easily jump for about 2 minutes straight. So, the next thing to try is double unders - when you have the rope go under your feet twice in one jump. I must have tried 50 times -- and all I got were 50 whips on my shins from where the rope hit me. So - regular skips, about 800, double under attempts, 50. Successful completion - 0! Not yet ... but soon.

I think I've become obsessed with box jumps. I am so mad that I couldn't do the double box jump! Still, I'm not going to accomplish it just by being frustrated - I gotta practice. I actually started this yesterday (forgot to write about it). This is what I jumped yesterday: [About 17 inches high/44 cm]

I managed to jump that (both feet up at the same time from standing position) 5 or 6 times.

This morning I added another step - after a few false starts, I succeeded at doing that ... and then added one more. It was a no go. I tried so many times - I must have attempted it at least 25 times. :( Fail.
I would take it down a bit, jump that a few times, and then quickly add the step to psych myself into jumping again - ugh. No go!! WTF. I know it's in my head. Anyway. I ended by taking 2 quick steps towards the bench and jumping up one leg at a time. I did that several times. It's not a proper box jump, but I'm working on it. I really want to do this!

Finally, my pull-ups. I used the assisted pull up machine to help me out. I just want to continue to practice so that my body gets used to the motion. I'm doing much better than I did before. It was good to see some progress.

My Body Said No

I woke up at 3:00 this morning.
I really, really wanted to get back to sleep, but I couldn't -- so I got out of bed. I thought - why not enjoy the silence of the house?

I am not a parent and I know nothing of parenting, but for some reason I (am just guessing) felt like a parent must do on weekends when they think 'I hope the kids sleep for just a bit longer' - although this time it was in reverse. As 7:30 was rolling around and I knew my parents would be waking up, all I could think was, 'I hope they sleep in for a bit longer.' Of course once they're up, they're up!

I spent the whole day at home.

I tried to get a bit of work done, but wasn't too successful. We made many, many phone calls to different departments to try and figure out what the hold up was with my mom's paperwork. I think we may have made a bit of progress, but it really does seem like people forget what's going on as soon as they hang up the phone.

To relieve a bit of stress I baked a batch of banana-nut muffins:

Then to get even more stress, my body gave in at around 2:30 p.m. and said - SLEEP. Get into bed and just sleep.

I had really wanted to go to the gym, but I knew that I had to get some sleep before I could even attempt to leave the house. I was so exhausted, mentally and physically, yesterday that I knew I shouldn't even be driving!

So I slept for 3 hours! It was a wonderful sleep. I didn't really want to wake up, but I knew that if I didn't I'd really throw off my sleep cycle.

Needless to say, I didn't make it to the gym, but I did feel more rested and less stressed - two other important components with trying to be healthy.

Tonight was Dad's turn to cook. He's a wonderful cook, but he likes to use too many ingredients that are not good for you. Tonight, however, he refrained. The only 'bad' thing he used was vegetable stock. I'm saying it's bad because it's filled with way too much sodium for us. Still, he made plaice with dill and lemon and a chick pea/kidney bean mix. I added to it by trying out kale for the first time {finally found it at the supermarket!!} and added it to a baked sweet potato and cauliflower dish.

I definitely feel much better now that I've eaten something and gotten some rest. Hopefully tomorrow's day of errands will go smoothly!

Just Going with It

I tossed and turned through most of the night. I think yesterday's stress/anxiety really affected me. Whenever my trend of insomnia starts to creep up, I get even more frustrated - I'm tired. I want to sleep. My mind just won't stop.

When my alarm went off at 7:15, I just wasn't ready to get out of bed. Not only was I tired, but I knew that I had a whole day of errands to run, and I wasn't looking forward to that at all.

I put going to the gym completely out of my mind. I had already worked out 5 days in a row so I figured a rest day was ok. Plus, as I said, there were tons of errands to run - not just any errands. Tedious, frustrating errands.

Still, we've got to go through this. If this is the anxiety I'm feeling, I can't imagine how much stress mom is feeling not knowing when she can leave Kuwait or when she'll receive her indemnity payment etc. So, I thought - just suck it up and go with it. Go with it I did ...

We ran errands from 8:30 a.m. until 4:30! There was a lot of waiting around involved, which I find more tiresome than when we're actually moving and doing something ... still, we made a bit of progress. No fixed departure date set yet ... more waiting to be done.

When my parents moved in, I set 2 rules - don't wash the dishes and don't cook. They were coming under a lot of stress. The least I could do was take care of them in this way so that they don't need to worry about food (plus it was my way of controlling the food situation at home). I finally had to cave in and allow them to cook. They were really insistent. So I thought fine - mom cooks on Sunday and dad cooks on Monday. I'll help set the menu so that it's as healthy as possible ... and then I'll just go with it -- and ENJOY it. They're both terrific cooks - why not take advantage of what will probably be my last home-cooked meals in Kuwait.

Relinquishing control does NOT come easy to me ... but I did.

Mom made a cauliflower, sweet potato, and carrot curry for me (not really curry though because it didn't have gravy) and a chicken korma for the carnivores in the family. There was some rice, roti, and yogurt as well.

It was delicious. {Do you like my curry serving dishes? Used them for the first time tonight though I bought them over a year ago!}

I'm trying to take it easy and not get myself worked up. I know that it has an effect on me physically (insomnia/abdominal pain) and mentally (anxiety) -- why freak out about things I can't control? I guess coz' I think that I can control a lot of it ... baby steps. Baby steps. I'm trying to make it work.

Oh - SSSD Challenge Update

Challenge for the Week - Lose 2 lbs
I really liked having this as my focus. I weighed myself each morning and kept asking myself with everything I ate - will this lead to your 2 lb loss?

I tried my best and saw my weight fluctuate on a daily basis - up a pound, down a pound, up two pounds, down a pound etc.

I didn't lose my 2 lbs but I'm still working on it. At the very least it made me even more conscious of not only what I was eating, but how it was having an impact on my body -- always a learning experience.

Personal Goals
1. Not to let the stress of not having a fixed routine get me down and lead to bingeing - Mostly successful with this, but I started to lose it towards the end. No binging - success!
2. Do at least 5 workouts of some sort - I managed 6 :)
3. Back to tracking - Only mentally, not on paper. 
4. Keep the 2 lb loss target in mind - I did keep it in mind, but it didn't get me to my goal! Gotta keep working on it. 

This week's goals:
Challenge for the week - Vegetarian week! Yay - easy since I only eat fish & vegetables :)
Personal goals -- Same as last week. Gotta try and make some positive changes and see some good results -- My trip to Italy is coming up soon!

Ignoring the Sleepiness

Only 4 hours of sleep last night -- and restless hours at that. As annoying as that is, I'm really trying to just push ahead and get through my day. There is way too much that needs to get done for me to falter just because of not enough sleep.

Despite feeling quite tired, I managed to make it to the gym at my usual time and completed 10 km on the cross-trainer. I know it's not the same as running, but still, 10 km is 10 km! It got a bit tough around the 7 km mark, but once I pass that kilometer, the adrenaline kicked in and I finished in 1 hr. 17 minutes (885 calories burned according to the machine, but I don't trust it 100%).

One of the best things about getting my workout done in the morning is that it is DONE! Leaving it for later in the day just leaves the risk of something coming up and preventing me from going in.

In the afternoon I attempted to look for a new pair of running shoes ... Total fail. I didn't find any that I like. I came across a pair of Asics gel nimbus shoes and a pair of Reebok Zigtech shoes ... the Asics felt a bit heavy, but not too bad ... unfortunately they didn't have the Reebok pair in my size. I didn't want to just buy the Asics without comparing them with the Reeboks, so I just left them. Hopefully I'll get a chance to check out a few more stores later this week. I really, really need to replace the pair that I'm currently wearing. I wish I could wait until I'm in London next week as I'm sure I'll get more choices, but my feet can't wait another month. Fingers crossed I find something soon!

The term 'clean eating' has been coming up a lot in several blogs. It's also something that F asked me about yesterday. Although I have a general idea of what it is, I never looked it up. I find this simple article that broke it down into 5 main points:

1) Eat plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables (eat fruit instead of drinking fruit juice, and if you can't buy fresh vegetables, it's better to have frozen veggies instead of canned)

2) Balance proteins and complex carbohydrates (stick to whole grains and lean meats; avoid frying - stick to grilling/steaming)

3) Avoid sodas/high calorie, sugary drinks (and sugar in general)

4) Eat good fats instead of bad fats (remove/minimize consumption of saturated fats)

5) Eat several small meals throughout the day to avoid overeating and keep blood sugar levels stable

Sounds easy enough, doesn't it?

Although it can be difficult to control the types of foods we eat when we're not at home, it is possible to control what is eaten at home. One of the best things for me is to not buy any junk food for the house at all. Inevitably if there is something in the house, it will get eaten ... so why tempt myself in the first place? Not having any soda, chips, chocolate etc. in the house means that I can't get my hands on them ... and I know that I won't drive to the supermarket just to buy a bag of chips! As for what to do when outside ... well, I guess it comes to just making the best choices possible. At the very least, there's portion control. I know it's easier said than done, but it can be done ...

I've come to realize, after this week's weigh in, the loss of inches reflects my work in the weight room ... but the gain in weight must be a reflection of my food choices. Although I try to eat healthy, I obviously am not eating healthy enough. I've got to be more careful.

"To sleep, perchance to dream"

(Shakespeare: Hamlet, III, i, 65)

Last night, I took 2 Motrin PMs and went to bed at 10 pm --- and I slept until 8 am!! (I don't even remember the last time I slept for 10 hours straight!)

Had a bowl of cereal.

Went back to bed at 9:30 am and slept until 12:30.

Had a veggie wrap.

Went back to bed at 3 pm and slept until 5:30.

It's almost 7 pm now. All want to do is have dinner (spinach and rice) and get back to bed. Obviously my body really, really needed some sleep, and I don't plan on depriving it any longer.

Sweet dreams.

Dragging My Feet

Up at 2 a.m. today. This is getting ridiculous.

Crawled back to bed around 6:30 a.m. for restless/nightmare filled nap.

Dragged myself to the gym at 10:30 a.m. So not in the mood for this.

Quick cardio warm-up, just 15 minutes.

Body Pump class at 11:00. I concentrated on my form, but used light weights - didn't want to overdo it, plus wasn't sure if I was going to collapse or not.

Zumba at 12 -- but the class got cancelled. Was disappointed and relieved. My body definitely needs to get some rest somehow.

Lunch - a bit of pasta with some veggies and egg white thrown in for protein - at 1:00.

Attempted at a nap at 2:30 - stayed in bed till 3:30, couldn't sleep but my body felt like a lump of lead. Was so difficult to get up.

Massage booked for 4:30 - bliss. Thought I would fall asleep, but I didn't. I did, however, manage to relax, so I definitely felt better post-massage.

Going out to dinner with some friends tonight to celebrate my thesis submission. Am thinking - grilled fish and the salad bar ... perhaps.

I've given up hoping for a good night's sleep. So I'm just hoping I don't collapse.

The Insomnia is Killing Me

You'd think that with all my talk of relaxing lately that my sleep would be improving ... not the case at all. In fact, when my sleep broke at 2:40 this morning I told myself 'Don't you dare get out of bed. You will stay in bed until at least 4:30 no matter how anxious you feel.' By 3:15 I still wasn't asleep, and by 3:20 I was crying from exhaustion. I can't explain how upsetting it is.

For the most part, I'm actually fine with waking up early - I figure, if I'm up, then I might as well get out of bed and do something, even if it means just relaxing in the other room. However, I know that with all my working out I need to get more than 3 hours of sleep a night. It's just not healthy. My muscles are achy and tired. At the end of the day, after working out for 3 hours, I.Am.Tired!! Why can't I sleep? And before you ask, I just had quarter cup of coffee at around 7:30 a.m. ... that's not enough to keep me awake for most of the night!

In the end, I did manage to stay in bed until 5 am (a miracle!) but I didn't fall back to sleep and I was tense most of the time.

Right now I'm just hoping for 5 hours -- I think in the meantime I'm going to try and take a long nap in the afternoon. I'll aim for 1.5-2 hours. I have to figure out a way to give my body the rest it needs.

Workouts for the day:

NROL4W Phase 3, Workout B3 (I'm excited that I'm almost done with this phase, it's been a good one, but I can't wait to move on. Next week is the last week for this round of exercises).

Cardio interval training (short, just 20 minutes)

Zumba (more like fun than a workout for me, but that's coz' I love to dance -- I'm still working up a MEGA sweat).

Food on point. Water on point. All I need to do is sleep.

A Day of Relaxation

The weather here is absolutely stunning and I'm so glad to be done with my thesis submission so that I can actually sit outside and enjoy the weather without having to rush home to do some work!

My workouts for the day were really good -

Half an hour of cardio warm-up -- including more jump rope

Body balance -- which was particularly challenging as this choreography involved a lot of arm/shoulder work ... and after yesterday's weights session, all I can say is OUCH!

Boxing for an hour ... I really don't like doing my boxing training after body balance, particularly because balance class ends with 10 minutes of meditation. It's a bit disconcerting to go from lying down in the dark to throwing punches ... but like yesterday's post - I just have to suck it up!

I had a really good training session. No bruises or blood this time, but lots of core work - twists and turns - plus focus on form. Boxing once a week isn't enough. I need to squeeze in at least 2 hours of practice before meeting with my trainer on Wednesdays. Don't know where I'll find the time!

After my workouts I got the chance to sit outside for a few hours -- absolute bliss (even though I did have student essays to grade in front of me). Still, I think it's beginning to sink in, and I don't want that feeling to go away!

In the evening I went for a 5k walk on the Mishref walking track. After doing the 10k last weekend I've decided to really focus on improving my run - or probably more accurately, start running. I know I do cardio at the gym and have been trying to work on my running on the treadmill, but it made a huge difference 'running' outdoors. So, I'm going to try and go to the outdoor walking track at least twice a week, if not three times. My goal is to just do 5k outside and build up until I can run the whole distance. I may try to use the C25K program as I know several people have had success following that plan ... we'll see. For now I'll just keep track of how fast I'm going and keep trying to increase my speeds as well as my jogs with each attempt.

So that's it from me. I'm hoping that this newfound relaxation will help me sleep (it still hasn't happened yet ... only managed 3.5 hours last night -- ugh!! It's getting tough to handle).

Planning Ahead

On days that are going to be especially busy I do tend to worry a bit of how I'm going to accomplish everything I need to do as well as stay on track with eating right and working out. It takes a bit of planning (which sometimes takes quite a bit of time in itself) but it is possible, and after my day yesterday, I know it's totally worthwhile putting in that extra bit of planning, no matter how tedious it may seem.

The main thing I had to keep in mind for the day is that I was

eating out with friends at night. We were going for sushi, which for me is pretty much the only place I don't mind eating out. However, I know that sushi isn't as healthy as some of us would like to believe - I think there is a way that you can eat healthily (avoid deep fried rolls, stick to sashimi, stay away from the ma

yonnaise based sauce, ask for low sodium soy sauce etc.), but you have to watch what you order. {Here's a good article on Healthy & Unhealthy Sushi ingredients.} In any case. I knew I'd be eating out so I wanted to watch my calories for the breakfast and lunch and enjoy dinner without overdoing it. Anyway. With that in mind, I adjusted my food accordingly and managed to enjoy all my meals without a problem.

My workout didn't go as planned. I had originally planned a light cardio warm-up, body balance class, and then some boxing training - wasn't sure if I'd have the trainer with me today, so I was just going to do some basic footwork and core strength training. Just as I had finished my cardio warm-up, the electricity went out in the entire gym. Luckily it didn't affect me much because I was done with the machines --- I was ready for Balance class. Unfortunately, nobody showed up for class today so it got cancelled ... so I went on to do my boxing training. I first started with the jump rope -- I don't know how I'm going to manage to jump for 6-minutes in a row. I find it TOUGH!! Still, I know that the only way to get there is to practice, so I did. I jumped and I jumped and I jumped. I went at it for 20 minutes (though probably only jumped 10 of those 20). I just had to keep pushing myself. It's like I had a constant monologue running through my head - Come on, jump! Keep at it. Don't give up. You think you're tired, but you're not. You've got to push through etc. etc. etc. -- It was both mentally and physically exhausting ... but I'm determined to complete that 6 minute stretch. I don't know how long it'll take, but I'm going to to keep trying until I get there! After about half an hour of my own training I met up with H to do some proper training ... and He.Worked.Me.Out! OMG - punch after punch after punch -- I had my hand wraps on, but when the skin peeled off my knuckles and I started bleeding a bit (how hardcore does that sound? lol) I put on my gloves and really went at it.

Throwing a few punches may not seem difficult, but it really is an amazing workout. Everything matters - your stance, your poster, firm core, concentrated movements etc. It is not easy, but it felt incredibly good to hit something. Very cathartic indeed! Anyway. After an hour I was done. what I really wanted to do was lie down right there and then on the gym floor lol - I was very happy to have booked a massage for that afternoon. I felt like I really needed it!

So, a good day overall. Still didn't manage to get a good night's sleep. I think it's got to the point where I'm going to need to take something tonight so that I can actually sleep for 5 hours. That's all I'm asking for ... 5 hours of sleep. We'll see.

Challenging Yourself vs. Fooling Yourself

I took the day off from the gym yesterday so that I could catch up on some of my errands and hopefully ease some of the stress that I've been feeling and finally get a good night's sleep. Totally wishful thinking on my part. I'm just glad that I have the next 6 days off of work. Hopefully I can get some rest -- the insomnia is now starting to hurt. Right now I'm existing on 2-3 hours of sleep per night for the past week and the occasional 10-15 minute power nap. I'm definitely hurting!

Still, life doesn't stop nor do the workouts!

NROL4W - Workout B2 today.

It went quite well. I really, really enjoy lifting weights, and I do like seeing myself get stronger each day. Since this program is only 3 sets of 6 reps I feel like I can push myself a bit more in terms of trying a heavier weight though I am being careful - don't want to risk injury.

I didn't post my numbers last week, so here's my chart so far:

	Feb. 14, ‘12	Feb. 21, ‘12
Dead row/squat	25 kg	35 kg
Single leg squat	5	9
Wide grip lat pull	41	48
YTWL dumbbell	5	4
Swiss ball crunch	100	100
Prone jackknife	20	30
Lateral flexion	24	30
Prone cobra	18	30
Interval training (15 min)	1.65 km	1.68 km

Part of Workout B includes HIIT after the weights workout. I've been doing ok, but I don't know if I'm pushing myself as much as I could ... again, finding that balance between challenging yourself and doing too much is tough when you're working out on your own. Still, today I pushed it a little more. I guess the trick is to just keep upping the intensity whenever I can and take it from there. Last week I did 4 1-minute jogs/sprints at 8.5 km/hr. This week I did 2 @ 8.5 and 2 @ 9.

On the note of running and challenging yourself ... there's a 10K coming up in a few days that one of my friend's is running. Actually, what he and 5 others are doing is much more amazing than the 10 km run -- they're actually running 240 km (from the north of Kuwait to the south -- that's just under 150 miles)!! It's estimated to take approximately 50 hours - can you imagine?

You can read a bit more about the run here.

Well, on the 25th there's a 10K support run that I'd love to be a part of. This is exactly the kind of thing that I want to do ... eventually. Well, actually I want to do it NOW, but I don't think I can. I've been going back and forth between challenging myself to do it or just waiting for another time when I'm better prepared. The 10K is not the problem - it's the running that's the problem. If you've been following my blog, you know that I'm not a runner. At the moment I can't even run 1 km! I don't know what's holding me back from pushing myself to run more ... I mean, I am trying little by little, but maybe I need to take it to another level. If it's something I really want to do, then don't I have to try harder? The thought of "I can't" is constantly lingering in the back of my mind ... I need to get rid of that thought, but it's so much easier said than done! In any case, I feel really disappointed in myself for not being in the shape I need to be to run a 10K. I workout for hours ... but running, aargh! Anyway. The only thing holding me back is me ... so I just need to push forward and challenge myself.

Anyway.

So, this morning - weights, a bit of cardio, physio for my knee, a good cool down session and then off to work ... then went back to the gym this evening for 3 km on the treadmill to warm-up before Zumba. Don't know how I'm pushing through without much sleep ... I'm definitely knackered now ... perhaps I'm exhausted enough for some sleep tonight?!

Trying to Warm Up

Although I did get about 5 hours of sleep, I feel like I struggled to get started all day today. I guess it's normal to feel like that at the start of the week. I just didn't feel prepared for the week at all.

It's mornings like these that really bring out my indecisiveness. First I was debating whether or not to go to the gym ... since I didn't take a day off last week I contemplated taking today as a rest day. At least that would have bought me more time in terms of getting ready for the week.

In the end, I went. I knew that if I didn't go my routine for the rest of the week would get messed up.

I did NROL4W - Phase 3 Workout A2 today. I definitely felt improvements from last week's workout. I managed to knock some more time off my 1 km warm-up. I also increased a few of my weights ... I have definitely run out of weights to use in the studio - I'll have to go into the main weight room for the next time I do this routine. The matrix of squats and lunges were also good. I'm getting used to the jumping, and as I said in a previous post, my legs definitely feel stronger!

I finally re-started my physiotherapy for my knee. I need to make sure I do the exercise at least 5 times a week.

I have felt a bit more pain than usual today. Maybe it has something to do with yesterday's RPM class? I'm not sure. I'll just keep monitoring how bad it gets. I'd give it a 5/10 at the moment. I do find it quite distracting and uncomfortable!

In any case, I'm glad I completed my workout. The day did start to improve with a good session with my class and then a yummy salad for lunch, and then work work work.

I do feel like I'm in a bit of a funk and just trying to push through my days ... I know that's probably not the healthiest of attitudes right now, but it truly is all that I can manage at the moment.

Eating right and keeping on moving ...

Still Struggling to Sleep

Another restless night - I'm not sure if I even got 3 hours. I'm very frustrated. I know that I have a lot of things on my mind and my stress levels are quite high at the moment ... not being able to sleep just adds to the frustration and stress. So much for having a restful weekend ...

Each week I'm trying to figure out how to make simple changes to my lifestyle that will enable me to get healthier. This week my goal was to increase my protein intake. Since I don't eat meat - red or white, it does become a bit more of a challenge. I do eat fish, and I know that fish is a great source of protein ... it's just that it can get a little bit tiring. In any case, I definitely upped my protein intake this week, but it is still a work in progress.

This week my focus is going to be on making sure I'm drinking enough water. I think I'm quite

lucky in that I don't struggle to drink water as many people seem to do. I drink at least 3 liters (100 ounces) of water a day without a problem at all. However, I do think that with the amount I've been working out lately, I should try and increase it to 4 liters (135 ounces) on a daily basis.

Recommended water intake on a daily basis (drink more when exercising):

2.7 L (92 ounces) per day for women

3.7 L (125 ounces) per day for men

If you are overweight, you should drink an extra 8 ounces for every 25 lbs. of excess weight.

These are just recommendations. The numbers will vary depending on your daily routine, your nutrition, the climate you live in, etc. I would just use these as a rule of thumb rather than a strict guideline.

Still unsure of how much water to drink? You can use an online calculator to help you out:

http://nutrition.about.com/library/blwatercalculator.htm

http://www.csgnetwork.com/humanh2owater.html

Something I read that I really took to heart: If you're thirsty, your body has already started to become dehydrated.

This week I'm going to try to drink at least 4 liters (135 ounces) of water per day [pure water, not fluids, e.g. coffee, milk, juice etc. ... just water.] We'll see how it goes!

A few articles I read on water & weight loss:

http://www.laststopfatloss.com/water-for-weight-loss

http://www.shapeupshop.com/weightloss/water-weight-loss.html

http://darrenstehle.com/tag/water/

Not Enough Sleep

I didn't sleep well last night -- I don't normally sleep well anyway, but last night was terrible. I got about 4 hours of mega-interrupted sleep. I was waking up every 15 - 30 minutes. I don't know what was wrong because I was definitely very tired by the time I got to bed ... I was not a happy camper when I woke up this morning :(

Anyway.

Despite the lack of sleep I still made it to the gym this morning. Warmed up with 20 minutes of cardio - am still working on picking up my running, which is slowly but surely improving. Within the 20 minutes I ran/jogged for 5 1-minute intervals. I hope to keep improving on this. Then I went to Body Pump class followed by Zumba class.

Two hours and 20 minutes of exercise ... on probably just about two hours and 20 minutes of sleep!

I've got a ton of work to do, so gotta get to it and push through the sleepiness and exhaustion.

Roller coaster

My insomnia is back.

Yesterday I woke up at 3:00 a.m. I stayed in bed until about 3:45, which is when the anxiety got so bad that I had to get out of bed.

I hate it when it gets to that point. There's nothing in particular triggering it, but at the same there's a lot on my mind ... and in my heart. You can keep pushing forward ... but powering through only gets you so far for so long.

I don't even remember what I did for the rest of the morning, but at 10 a.m. KD came to take me out to do some shopping. It was a great morning/afternoon -- we took it slow, but it all added up. By time I got home around 3 p.m. I was knackered and nauseous. I just lay on the couch and could not move until around 8. I wasn't in pain, but I was sore ... really sore.

I took a few pain killers, but they didn't really help.

Unfortunately, tonight was another sleepless night ... what the hell is going on? It's so frustrating ... however, since today is my last official sick leave day, I am determined to do absolutely nothing at all except veg in front of the TV.

This roller coaster of emotions and physical pain/relief is getting old. I sure do hope that things turn around soon.