Adjustments and Attitude

My week feels like it's been sandwiched between positivity and stress. The most frustrating part for me is that I know there were things I could have done earlier to help avoid or at least minimize my stress.

Earlier this week I wrote about making necessary adjustments to my schedule in order to accommodate what was important in my life at that point in time. I do believe this is important. After all, we can't control everything, so it's good to be flexible so as not to feel like you're not getting things done or making progress (towards whatever you hope to achieve). At the same time, I have to admit that sometimes it feels like making adjustments is something that I'm always doing.

I'm trying to stay positive and optimistic, but there comes a time - like this morning when a sudden burst of coughing had me up at 5 am - when you think, 'Enough is enough!! I just want things to be normal.'

So this week didn't go as planned, but it definitely had some good outcomes.

Positives: 
- I enjoyed my yoga class at the new gym. I'll definitely be continuing.
- I passed my driving theory test with flying colors. I'll confess, I found it tough. Even though I studied hard (crammed for 72 hours to be honest), I walked out of the test room not feeling very confident at all. I was super relieved when I got my results. I could literally feel the weight being lifted off my shoulders. Now to prepare for the practical test.
- I've been on eBay and various other sites trying to sell furniture and other things that I realize are just not needed anymore. It's tedious, but people have been buying. It's been great to see things go!

Things to work on:
- This week, dinners were a struggle for me. Aside from Monday evening, I found myself just throwing things together without taking much time to cook, which is something I love to do. I spend a lot of time making food for D and so I get a bit burnt out and don't focus on foods for me (we're doing different levels of the Whole Life Challenge). I need to find more time to cook proper meals for myself. Mindless eating, even if it is eating healthy foods, is not something I want as part of my routine/life anymore.

- Lack of planning and major procrastination is what led to my mega cram session for my driving theory test. Part of me is glad I did it this way as I don't know how I would have retained so much info over a longer period of time. That being said, I was upset at myself for not being a better planner. I knew that this test was coming up - I should have made daily studying a priority (hmmmm I remember telling myself this years ago when I was in school). It was an unnecessary stress I put on myself.

Even though I do have a lot going on, I need to be better at prioritizing and working efficiently. I don't want to get so bogged down in things that I neglect to do things that make me happy -- focus on my own training, cooking good meals for myself, sorting through my things (and not just things for the house). I guess it all sounds a bit selfish -- need to focus on me, me me. I don't plan on neglecting all the other things, I'm just don't want to lose myself in the process. Does that make sense?

The biggest challenge with this will be for me to actually be at peace with my choices. I don't want to take an hour for myself for yoga class and then be lying on the mat thinking - Oh man, I should be home unpacking more boxes.

I wish it was easy - after all, I'm the only one putting these pressures on myself. You'd think it would be simple for me to tell myself to relax. I just need to remember that doing things that make me feel happier and calmer lead to overall productivity and satisfaction.

I'll say that again: Doing things that make me feel happier and calmer lead to overall productivity and satisfaction.

Ok. That's my mantra for the upcoming week. Let's see how it goes.

Hello June!

Last week's enthusiasm about joining a gym was thwarted by the onset of a chest infection + hay fever. It was mega-frustrating to deal with, but by now I'm totally used to things not going according to plan. The thing is, even if I can't get through my day doing exactly what I want to do, I know by now how to stick to the basics -- drink lots of water, get in some exercise, and take care of what needs to be taken care of.

In the past I would really let setbacks get in the way of my overall progress. Now I know that I don't need to do that. One setback doesn't mean failure - it means that the plan for that day needs to be adjusted.

Realizing this and being able to follow through with making necessary changes has really benefitted me - not only in terms of me taking care of my health but also in terms of how I approach things in life in general.

Today was a much better start to my day and to a new month. To be honest, when I looked outside and then looked at the calendar I was a bit taken aback that it was June. Seeing the wind, rain, and overcast skies did not make it feel like summer was approaching at all! It was a bit disorientating. Nonetheless, the weather is the weather, and whether it feels like it or not, June is here!

I feel like the months have just passed me by, but when I take a look at it, it's not like I wasted the days away.

From my trip to Los Angeles for my Jiu-Jitsu instructor certification in January to earning my Pink Belt to starting to teach my own Women's Self-Defense class to buying a new house ... the days have been busy and productive.

At the same time, things like my weight lifting and my blogging have not been given as much attention as I would have liked. I hope June is the month for me to turn that all around and it started off right with a lovely yoga session at the new gym.

Although the yoga session itself was great for my stretches, it sometimes felt a bit overwhelming as it was an hour full of instructions -
'Now lie down, point your toes towards the mirror, raise your arms above your head, point your fingers towards the back wall, look right, stretch left, inhale, exhale ... ...' so on and so forth for a whole hour! Kind of made my head spin. Still, the instructor was good and I will definitely be back to her class.

I've found that no matter how much food prep I do on Sunday, some of the prep tasks spill over into Monday, so I spent most of the day in the kitchen plus doing errands around the house before heading out to teach our Bullyproof class. It's so great seeing the kids progress!

So, June started off well. My big task of the week is to pass my theoretical driving test. To say that I should have started studying sooner is an understatement! That's going to be my focus for the rest of the week - with stretching, lifting, running, and Jiu-Jitsu-ing whenever I can :)

New Chapter

Yesterday I celebrated my 1 year anniversary of moving to England. I have to say, it's been quite a year. From packing up my belongings and saying good-bye to the country I got used to calling home to settling down in a new country -- so much has happened. The biggest change has definitely been shifting from teaching in a university to teaching Jiu-Jitsu. As I continued to get more involved in Jiu-Jitsu training it was definitely something I wanted to do, but it wasn't something I saw becoming a reality so quickly.

celebrating my 1 year anniversary - I thought it would be fitting to wear a traditional Kuwaiti dress as a reminisced about Kuwait and planned for my future in London

The move and my adjustment to this new life has been good. I've taken it all in stride and I'm happy with where things are headed. That being said, I don't really feel like I've been myself over the past few months. I was kind of moving from one day to the next without really feeling fully focused. I'm hoping that now that I've moved into the new house and things are finally starting to fall into place that all that is about to change.

Today was the perfect day to start that change.

My 2nd year in England started with a renewed commitment to myself. I've spent a LOT of time trying to get the house sorted, doing tons of cooking, and running errands. While that aspect of my life will not change, what I want to do is reorganize how I'm handling everything. I found too many days to just pass by without me taking the time I need to get my own things done (studying, lesson planning, blogging, etc.). I also spend so much time prepping food for D and the household that I don't often take time to prepare proper meals for myself. I need that to stop. I am committed to eating 3 proper healthy meals a day. No more snacking as meals, even if it is on healthy foods. I need to eat properly.

In addition to all that, I joined a new gym! I actually went and signed up last week but today was my first day there. It felt good to be back to weight training.

The new gym is close to my house so that's quite convenient. It's fairly large - huge cardio section, a spin studio, an aerobics studio, several resistance machines and an ok size free weight area. They've got a lap pool as well as an indoor basketball court. It definitely has all the basics for a good workout. I think what it's lacking is a bit of character and atmosphere, but I'm going there to get in my workouts so I guess that doesn't matter too much. I'm also not too keen on the fact that I have to wear a wristband while I'm at the gym -- but that's a minor inconvenience too.

 a glimpse of part of the cardio section

I didn't want to take too many photos on my 1st day. 

 the wristband - is it really necessary?

I started off with a basic workout today -
dynamic stretching
warm-up on the treadmill
45 minutes weight training
cool down on the treadmill
cool down stretching

decided to wear a new pair of trainers to my new gym

It felt good to be back in the gym.

I'm hoping that this renewed focus and commitment to myself will help me reach my next set of goals.

Gym Membership

I haven't been feeling like myself for the past month. There's just been too much going on and I feel like I've just been scraping by.

My food has been on point - but I've been so tired, stressed, and distracted that I haven't really been enjoying cooking or eating. I'm glad the Whole Life Challenge has been helping me stay on track and forcing me to cook/eat at home otherwise I know that there would have been many, many takeouts ordered over the past month.

My exercise has been regular but minimal - This week was definitely better in terms of exercise as I got back on the mats for Jiu-Jitsu training and have been attending more classes to assist with coaching. It's felt great. My wrist injury is holding me back from joining in full force, but I'm taking steps to improve it. I've definitely felt lost without my weight-training and as much as I have been trying to take advantage of working out outdoors, I have to admit that unless the weather conditions work in my favor, I've stayed indoors and haven't done as much as I would have liked. Not having a gym membership has felt weird. I don't think I've ever gone for any period of time over the past 8 years without a gym membership -- so not being anchored to a gym has felt strange to me. Thankfully that changed from today!

I signed up at a local gym (membership starting from Tuesday). The gym itself is pretty good, but what was most appealing was the fact that it has yoga/pilates class almost every morning, and that works really well with my schedule - I just hope the instructor is good.

I've only signed up for a one month membership at the moment. I want to see how I like it before committing to this particular gym for a year. The location is really convenient for me so I hope it works out.

I've found that it's so easy to get distracted with daily errands and little tasks that other, possibly more important, things don't get done. I've realized that by losing myself in the set up and organization of the new house that I've been neglecting my own overall well-being. That's had an impact on my sleep, my mood, and my overall enjoyment of things in general. I really do think that with a gym membership and yoga classes to look forward to, I'll feel more like myself. I need to get back to basics and focus on my long-term goals.

I can't wait to get started!

Settling In

I've been absent from pretty much everything for the past week or so as I've been packing up one house and moving into another. It's been busy to say the least. I've been trying to take things in stride and not let myself get too overwhelmed with things -- but I've been exhausted. On my feet from 5 am until the late hours of night packing, moving, unpacking, etc. I'm happy to say that things are coming together, slowly but surely. I just need to remember to be patient.

Although I have a lot of work ahead of me in terms of the house, I've made a promise to myself that from this week I would try as much as possible to get back to my normal routine. Last week, as a stroke of luck, because of the elections in England, all the Jiu-Jitsu classes were cancelled. As a result, I didn't have to go to work all week, which meant I could focus solely on the house. It was not that I didn't want to teach/train, but I knew that I wouldn't have been able to (definitely not in the capacity that I would like) if I was dealing with that plus the move -- so it was kind of a blessing that I could focus solely on the house.

I have to say, being on the Whole Life Challenge is what has helped me stay the most on track during this stressful time. On more than one occasion it would have been very easy for me to give in and order a pizza or grab a croissant for breakfast. However, the food parameters of the challenge helped me stay on track. I prepared meals in advance and had healthy snacks on hand if needed. The exercise and stretching portion of the challenge was a bit more difficult as I was SO tired. However, I got in small workouts during the day (at home) and even though I felt lazy in the evening to stretch, I made sure I did it and was always thankful as it felt great after a long day of running around and lifting boxes.

So all in all I've been doing ok, but to be honest, it hasn't been 100% focused effort. From today, however, that changes. Even though there's a lot to do, I need to get back to some sort of routine and make sure I carve out some time for myself that doesn't involve sifting through boxes to ensure I keep my sanity!

I haven't really gotten off to a great start as my sleep broke just past midnight and I haven't been able to get back to sleep (it's almost 5 am). I know that rest is important so I will try and catch up on some zzz's during the day if I can. Things don't always go according to plan -- but you gotta make the best of your circumstances anyway.

Hello May

I knew that things were serious when I wrote sat down to write a list and 'Must Do' was the heading instead of 'To Do'. Yes, it's come to that point in time where there are tons of things that must be done, and they all pretty much need to be done NOW!

My instinct is to panic, procrastinate, and pout. However, my attempt to adapt a new calmer, much more mature perspective on life (which I wrote about in a past post entitled: Living a Good Life) has been a great help.

Instead, I'm just trying to take things in stride. There's a lot going on so it's natural to feel a bit stressed, but I'm not letting it overwhelm me. I just have to tackle things one task at a time and not let myself get distracted by things that are out of control.

Moving house is a lot of work, but it's not impossible.
Starting the Whole Life Challenge will require discipline, but it's not impossible.
Getting my chapter edited for publication will require time, but it's not impossible.
Preparing for my classes will require a few hours of prep, but it's not impossible.
Getting in my daily exercise and stretching will require getting up a bit earlier in the morning, but it's not impossible.

You get the picture.

It's taking this more laid back approach that has enabled me to not freak out when a dollop of dark blue paint fell on my brand new cream carpet or when only part of my furniture delivery arrived with the other part not to be found anywhere.

I've realized that there are so many opportunities each day to freak out and panic ... but there are also just as many opportunities to stay calm and be productive.

It's still a challenge, but each time I succeed, I feel happy.

It's a new month. I'm going to do my best to make it a good one!

Back to Basics

I've been getting quite a few emails asking for advice and strategies on how to lose weight. The basic premise of living a healthy lifestyle is something that is commonly addressed nowadays. A single search on the internet will lead you to thousands and thousands of sites talking about how to eat healthy and how to exercise efficiently. Perhaps this is the problem. There's just too much information out there and for someone who wants to get started, it can get overwhelming.

When people ask me what I did to lose weight, they're not happy with my answer. I talk about staying away from refined sugars and starches, not drinking soda, not eating anything with preservatives or artificial ingredients ... and the most common reaction is a look of horror followed by asking 'So, what do you eat?' When I add on my resistance training routine along with my Jiu-Jitsu, they shake their heads and say that it's impossible. That it's too much.

There are a few things I have to say to this:
1) I'm happy with the way I eat and the way I train.
2) The changes I made to my lifestyle did not happen overnight. They took time. They took discipline. They took deliberate thought and action until they became habits.
3) I do these things because they work for me.

While I do believe that the basic premise of living a healthy lifestyle is the same for everyone, the exact details will vary ... after all, it's your lifestyle.

You need to figure out what works for you -- what suits your tastes, what suits your routine. That being said, you also need to accept that changes will probably need to be made. You may need to cut a few things out of your diet, step up the intensity of your exercise, and rearrange your routine. You can't expect to continue to do the same thing and expect different results -- it's going to take some work.

There is no 'one size fits all' outline for how to live a healthy lifestyle. You really do have to sit down and figure out what works for you.

The first thing to do is go back to basics --
1) Set your goal(s)
2) Start eating a bit less
3) Start exercising a bit more

From there, come up with a food and fitness based plan on how to reach your goals. What you eat and how you train will differ depending on what your fitness goals are. Do you want to run a marathon? Enter a strong man/woman competition? Excel in MMA?

What you want to achieve will determine your actual plan.

Once you've figured that out, make changes in a way that you know you will be able to sustain. If you don't think you can cut out sugar, dairy, gluten, and red meat all at once, then don't. Set yourself up for success -- don't choose impossible goals or tasks that you dread. Remember, this is your life. You are in control. You make the choices -- and you have to own up to the consequences.

I really think it's important to start with small, simple changes, and then keep modifying as you go along.

Of course, there's nothing wrong with going all in from the very beginning. I cut everything out all at once and it worked for me -- but I'll be honest, it's not easy to sustain. I'm now trying to come up with a better balance that will suit my lifestyle.

When in doubt, keep it simple. Here are a few basic tips to get you started:

1. Drink more water (cut down/eliminate soda, juice, alcohol)
2. Eat more fresh foods (cut down/eliminate processed foods that are filled with artificial flavors and preservatives)
3. Move more (take the stairs instead of elevator, walk instead of drive, find a fun activity to participate in)
4. Eat less and chew more
5. Get enough sleep

You can do it -- just keep trying.

Steps and Stops

I'm usually good at just getting on with things, but I find that I've spent most of this week 'talking to myself' and constantly having to stop, take a moment, evaluate (and reevaluate) my choices and almost scold myself into action. Okay, scold is a bit of a strong word. It's just that things this week just haven't fallen into place naturally like they usually do. It's strange.

I've spent the past 3 years getting into good habits, and for the most part they really are part of my lifestyle, but every once in a while I stumble. Perhaps it's about getting bored with my routine - eating and doing pretty much the same things day in and day out. Still, in the end I'm kinda just being a baby about it. The choice to do things differently and change things up is always in my hands. It basically boils down to two choices -- do something to change your routine or suck it up and just get on with it.

I've done a bit of both.

I've been doing a weekly step challenge through the FitBit app. I have to say it has really motivated me to get up and moving. I get my workouts in daily - whether it's at the gym or on the Jiu-Jitsu mats, but this step challenge has added a new dimension. The bit of friendly competition gets me to go out and take a walk when normally I would have just stuck to my basic workouts. It just goes to show, when you've got the right motivation, you will make time to keep moving! So I'm happy with my step count. I have a relatively low daily step goal (only 5,000 steps), but that's because Jiu-Jitsu doesn't involve any steps, but it sure is a workout! I'm happy that I've hit over 10,000 steps on all days this week except for 1 day. That's more than I've done in a while and I'm happy with that!

I've also been stepping away from the treadmill. The cold has kept me indoors. Yes, I know that compared to other places, it's not that cold in London, but for me it's cold. I chose not to confront the cold this time and just workout indoors. However, now that it's finally warming up (I would have never called single digit weather 'warming up'), I've been going for outdoor walks. The brisk air is refreshing, and the lovely natural scenery around me makes it much more enjoyable.

So my steps have been good this week. Despite craving sweets and bread - I don't normally crave bread so this is strange for me - I haven't given in, and I've been sticking to my veggies and proteins. Overall, the week has been going well -- now it's just about getting rid of that nagging voice in my head that keeps saying - Take a break, stay in bed. Be lazy and order in a pizza.

Will that voice ever disappear? I'm not sure -- in the meantime, I've got to keep my ultimate goals in mind and keep powering through.

Surviving the Weekend

Whenever I'm off a schedule, I find that it becomes harder to stick to my food routine. The pockets of empty time (in other words, the times when I'm procrastinating) leave open the chance to want to eat out of boredom.

The best habit I think I've cultivated is to not buy junk food at all. There are no snacks in the house - no biscuits, no crisps, no chocolates. Even if I really, really wanted to have something, there is nothing that I can easily reach for. Ironically, when I get intense cravings, I somehow still go to the cupboard and desperately look for some chocolate ... I know there's nothing there, but I still look.

My weekends used to be really unstructured, thus leaving open the temptation to just sit on the couch and watch TV ... which inevitably leads to wanting to munch on something.

The good thing is that my weekends have also become routine. For the most part that suits me fine. I know what I'm going to eat, when I'm going to eat, and what I'm going to do. That structure really helps me. It may seem boring to some, but the great things about setting a schedule for yourself is that you can change it up if you want to.

This all relates to points 2 and 3 in the Lifestyle challenge.
- Eat thoughtfully
- Choose your celebrations

Things come up. There are birthdays. There are parties. We have whims.

The thing that I want to work on most is to not let those instances throw me off track.

It all boils down to making decisions that I know will make me happy, both in the moment and in the future.

I went for a long period of time when I was saying 'no' to a lot of things. That actually suited me just fine. Even if others had a problem with it (and many, many people did), I put myself, my health, my happiness first.

I will still do that to this day, but now I'm a bit more relaxed. This doesn't mean I'll eat whatever I want without thinking about it. Instead, I make a thoughtful/conscious decision about my actions. Whatever I decide to do (workout, rest, eat, fast), it will be my choice, for my happiness - whether that means taking my own salad to a dinner party or sitting down and enjoying a piece of carrot cake with a cup of coffee. It's my choice.

Taking responsibility for this choice (and the consequences) is important. It's not about guilting yourself into feeling one way or another. It's about understanding that whatever we choose to do has a consequence.

Making these decisions requires practice and patience. It involves implementing some discipline into your decision making process. Maybe at this very moment, your desire to have a piece of chocolate cake is very strong ... but you've got to take a moment and ask yourself - do I really want it? Is eating this cake really going to make me happy? Does this action help me reach my overall goal? Will doing this action lead to regret in the future (whether it's 1 hour/1 week/1 month later)?

After answering those questions - you make a choice.

The ultimate goal is to work towards optimal health and overall happiness (at least those are my goals).  This doesn't stop just because the weekend is here.

As you gear up for the weekend, don't forget your overall goals. Find ways to create new routines and new habits that you enjoy and that also correspond to you achieving your goals.

When you start off, making such decisions takes time and requires quite a bit of thought and organization. However, if you stick with it, you'll see that it will soon become a habit, and making healthy choices will become second nature.

Friday Five

This week has had its ups and downs. I've been doing well in terms of my food and exercise, but overall have just been feeling a bit down. I'm worried about my brother, and the distance from my family just feels terrible. At the same time, I'm trying not to let my emotions get the best of me. I feel like I spent most of this past week (actually the past 2 weeks) talking to myself - reminding myself that it's ok to feel down but that it doesn't have to control your whole day or lead to unhealthy habits. It's hard to keep having to go through that kind of self-talk. Part of me feels it's necessary because it's true. There's nothing I can do from here, so I might as well make the most of my day. Another part of me, however, just wants to wallow. The emotions are too strong. The helplessness is real. The frustration is undeniable.

That being said, keeping this week's meals simple and my routine consistent has helped me get through the week. I'm hoping that I'll be a bit more of engaged next week and everything I do won't feel like such a chore.

A few highlights from the week:

My breakfast for the week: A smoothie of açai, bananas, and red grapes -- delicious, but cold

My lunch for the week: sautéed butternut squash and broccoli, over raw spinach, with cucumber and avocado -- yummy and very filling! 

Instead of doing my cardio on a treadmill, I headed out to a park just behind my house and went for a lovely walk. Being outdoors was so refreshing. The sounds, sights, and smells were highly therapeutic! 

I had a couple of good weight training sessions this week. As much as I'd like to do more in the weight room, I think I've come up with a routine that I can stick to and maintain. It's better than nothing! 

The launch date for my Women's Self-Defense class has been set. I start on April 10th, and I'm so excited! I'm particularly looking forward to teaching the class with D. I hope that the class will make a difference to other women's lives as it did mine. 

New Challenge - 100 Days Until Summer

For the past 7 weeks I've been doing the Whole Life Challenge. I've done the challenge a number of times and I've found that it really suits my lifestyle. The challenge runs 8 weeks at a time 2-3 times a year. The tricky part has always been trying to navigate those weeks/months in between the challenge. 

When you've got a structure in place and a set routine, things get a lot easier. Take away that structure, and things begin to kind of fall apart. One indulgence turns into two into three into an endless uncontrollable spiral. 

Ok, that may be a bit of an exaggeration, but the bottom line is, without a plan, without a structure, and without a support system, it can be hard to stay on track. 

So, starting from Thursday, March 12th -- giving us 100 days until the 1st day of summer -- I'll be hosting a challenge. 

This challenge is based on the 50 Day lifestyle challenge that I did before. You can read the details in this post. 

The goal of this challenge -- to live a healthy lifestyle. It's not about restrictions. It's not about rigorous rules. It's about making thoughtful choices that lead to your overall wellbeing. 

The basic guidelines will be the same throughout the challenge: 

1) Drink water

2) Eat thoughtfully

3) Choose your celebrations

4) Move regularly

5) Track and reflect daily 

The ultimate goal is to be happy - happy with the choices you're making, happy with the direction you're heading, happy with the progress you're making, happy with the life you're living. 

In addition to the 5 basic guidelines, I'll be adding a weekly challenge - just one thing to focus on for 7-10 days. I think making a lot of changes at once can be overwhelming, but if we just focus on making one small change at a time, it can lead to positive results. 

The challenge is open to anyone. Please do join my Facebook page for the challenge called 'It's a Lifestyle'. I'll be posting links to articles, general information mosts, and hopefully things to motivate the group. If you have difficulty joining the group, please email me at plumpetalsfit@gmail.com and I'll add you via email. You can also follow my page: PlumPetals Fit for regular posts and details. 

Summer will be here before we know it - let's start working from now! 

Living a Good Life

I've been distraught lately - I wish it was about something mundane or fixable, but it's a bit deeper than that. I've always been quite a sensitive person but more recently, with all the bad news around the world, my sensitivity has heightened and I've just felt quite overwhelmed by the state of our humanity - or lack of.

I know this sounds very existential and lofty, but it really has been having an impact on me -- I find it unfortunate that there are so many articles, blog posts, and videos urging people to be more accepting and kind to others. In 2015 do we really need to be told over and over again? How has our progress and advance in 'intelligence' and technology led is to a point where we are urging and pleading with people to be more understanding? It upsets me a great deal.

I started blogging as a way for me to track my progress with the hope that maybe it'll be interesting, informative, and even helpful to someone else along the way. It was with the hope of reaching other people and connecting with them - knowing that they are not alone in their struggles and worries - that I started sharing more personal details about myself and my struggles. It wasn't easy, but I felt it was important.

I feel like I have finally reached a point of balance in terms of my food and fitness. My eating and exercise are down to a routine. I know what works for me (my body, my metabolism, my lifestyle) and all I need is to be disciplined and focus so that I can continue to work towards reaching my ultimate goals. Since I have that part of my life sorted out, I think it's time to look at the bigger picture.

Teaching in general and now working with others to help improve their fitness and teaching the Bullyproof program to kids and Jiu-Jitsu, a form of self-defense, to adults, I have begun to see the bigger picture.

So much of what we teach the children is about confidence and standing up for themselves. More importantly, it's been about looking out for one another, being a good, kind person, and learning how to share and be accepting.

When I talk to kids about these concepts, they clearly know right from wrong. They lean towards kindness and acceptance, towards fun and laughter.

It makes me wonder - where along our journey towards adulthood do we forget these things?

I don't know what can be done on a large scale, but I truly believe that at the very least, we can do our own part to be good and spread goodness.

It is with all of this in mind that I am starting the next chapter in my story. Now that the healthy food and exercise habits are in place, I am focusing on improving my overall quality of life. This quality has nothing to do with materialistic things. Rather, it is about making the most of each day.

Much of this change already started for me when I moved to London. I knew that it would be a huge change for me - living a life so different from what I was used to. However, from the moment the move was decided, I also made a commitment to myself to be nothing but completely positive about the changes. While I won't deny that living in Kuwait was enjoyable, I can honestly say - I don't miss it. I am thankful that I had the opportunity to live in Kuwait … and now I'm thankful that I am living here.

Choosing to live in the now and be appreciative of all I have has kept my spirit light and happy. Instead of fretting about things I don't have anymore, I am thankful for all that I do have. Instead of living in the past, I am living in the moment. I still plan a bit for the future, but I have decided not to be anxious about it. I've tried the stressed/anxiety route. It didn't get me anywhere. The problems were still there.

Instead, I am focusing on living purely, enjoying every moment, and taking the time to live in the present. That doesn't mean I'm happy-go-lucky all the time. Trust me, I'm not. That's actually where the new challenge is going to be for me.

I don't want to let my emotions overwhelm me. Instead, I want to focus on more fundamental elements of living a good life - breathing deeply, watching my posture, smiling more, being more charitable, being kind, making decisions that I feel positive about, being brave, and so on. I feel like it's taken me a long time to come this this point in my life. I don't think I was ready for it before. I was too filled with anxiety and fear … but now I'm ready.

happy 

with hands up ready to tackle or embrace life - whatever the situation calls for

Prioritizing

I used to be one of those people who waited for the start of the week or my birthday or the start of a new month/year to start something new. It took me a while to realize if I wanted something, I had to start working towards it from that moment. If I knew my goal/desire/objective wasn't going to change, then why wait? What was I achieving by stalling? Even though I do believe that having a plan is essential to helping you achieve your goals, I came to realize (the hard way) that I was often using the planning stage as a way to procrastinate. I'd tell myself, first I've got to do X, then Y, then Z ... and then something else would come up and I'd get distracted and tell myself - ok, I'll restart on the 1st of the month. The cycle would continue.

Though I firmly believe in starting to work towards your goals immediately, I still find the start of a new month to be a time to reevaluate how the past month has gone. Reevaluation is important, because the last thing I want to do is waste time doing something that is not helping me reach my goals. Too often I have found myself sticking to my plan - a plan which looked good on paper, but was either difficult to implement or sustain or just wasn't helping me get the results I wanted. Taking a moment to take stock is important. Sometimes I find my plan is working just fine and I can continue on the track I've been on. Other times, revamping is necessary.

So today, on March 1st, I'm taking a bit of time to regroup and set new plans in motion. With all the travel and chaos of the 1st two months of year, I feel it's necessary. After returning from Bangladesh, I hit the ground running - and that was a great way to start. However, I felt like I lacked a bit of structure. It's time to get some structure back. There's a lot I want to achieve between now and July -- I have to make sure that I'm 100% on task (leaving room for some flexibility of course, as I wrote about yesterday).

In order to do this, however, I have to figure out exactly what I want.

Funnily enough, the basic components of living a healthy lifestyle are easy now. I mean, I've been trying to lose weight and get healthy for a few years now. I don't need a book to tell me what's healthy to eat and what's not. Same thing with exercise. I know I need to be efficient with my workouts and choose exercises that are effective (weight lifting + HIIT = magical combo for me).

That's the easy, basic stuff. Now I'm ready to start looking deeper. More on that tomorrow ...

Constantly Seeking Balance

I had some work to do yesterday morning and that kept me from getting to the gym. As the hours went by, I started to feel more and more anxious - the day was passing, I still hadn't got to the gym, plus I had Jiu-Jitsu training in the evening. I knew I'd feel bad if I skipped my workout, but I was worried I'd feel tired if I did go, particularly as it got closer and closer to my evening training time.

In the end, I went to the gym. I did my warm-up, strength training, and stretching and I shortened my cardio portion. Making a few changes to my normal routine helped me get in a good workout but not exhaust myself to the point of being unable to train effectively in the evening.

As someone who likes consistency and routine, I don't like it when things don't go according to plan. However, the past few years have taught me that although having a plan is important, getting thrown off track when unexpected things come up is not going to help you reach your goals. The ability to be flexible is essential. This is where having your goals down in writing can help.

So  many 'off-plan' things have happened in my life over the past 3 years. In order to get through it all, I've had to adapt. It didn't always come easy. In fact, it still doesn't come easy, but I know it's the only way I can make sure I continue to move forward and not get stuck like I used to before.

There was a point in time when any little thing would throw me completely off track and that would lead to a terrible self-destructive cycle.
One unhealthy meal = complete failure -> might as well eat anything -> if I'm eating anything, then why exercise -> weight gain -> feeling terrible -> eating to comfort myself ... ... ... I'm sure you see where this is going.

It was so silly of me to let small things derail in such a way. I think being wishy-washy about my goals was what aided in this out of control spiral of behavior.

My only goal at that point was to lose weight. However, not having a structure or proper understanding of how to lose weight meant that I was easily discouraged.

Now, I'm happy to say, things are different.

I've got my goals in place with a proper strategy. More importantly, I've got back up plans. If I don't get to the gym, I've got workouts that I can do at home. If I have a limited time at the gym, then I know what kind of exercises to focus on to ensure that I still get an effective workout in a short amount of time. If I'm in a hurry and don't have a lot of time to prep/cook, then I've got a list of very easy, healthy meals that I can quickly prepare.

The bottom line is -- there should be no excuses.

That being said, my routine is far from steady, my strategies are far from perfect.

I feel like I'm still constantly negotiating and looking for the right balance of things I want to do and need to do. At the very least, I need to make sure that whatever I do is helping me reach my overall goals. Anything else would really be a waste of time. As for the details ... well, as always, I'm workin' it out ...

A Few Adjustments

As I headed to the gym yesterday, it dawned on me that although I had been focusing on my Jiu-Jitsu vs. going to the gym for the past 3 months, there was another reason I did not make it to the gym ... and that's the weather.

I know. I know. There are far colder places than London, and I don't have it bad at all. However, for me, it's cold.

As I walked to the gym yesterday, wrapped up in 3 layers and still freezing, I remembered how uncomfortable it was. There's nothing enjoyable about walking in slightly drizzly, windy weather to get to the gym ...

After getting to the gym and taking off all those extra layers, I immediately regretted not having brought a second pair of trainers. I didn't like wearing the same trainers that I had on outside (coz' it had been raining) for my workout. Also, I regretted not bringing another layer to wear inside the gym. The gym wasn't heated. The barbells and dumbbells were freezing - making it uncomfortable and difficult to grip.  Plus it felt like it took forever to warm-up.

I had already decided that I wasn't going to workout outdoors in the cold weather. I didn't want to dread going to the gym for a workout. Maybe that sounds like a copout, but whatever. The bottom line was that I needed to workout, so as long as I made it to the gym, I was ok with not doing the outdoor MetaFit workouts.

The bottom line is, although I had a good workout yesterday, there were definitely parts that I did not enjoy. Anyway. There is a positive spin to all of this complaining.

First of all, today - not only did I wear my regular outdoor layers for my walk to the gym, but I also wore a thin thermal shirt that I was going to keep on during my workout. It helped big time! Wearing 3 layers to workout wasn't ideal, but at least I wasn't cold, so I didn't have that as a distraction.

I also wore regular sneakers to walk to and from the gym so that my indoor workout trainers didn't get wet.

I got to the gym a bit earlier so that I could take some more time to warm-up properly and not feel the biting cold. This helped a lot. The barbell was still cold, but not as cold as before. I could wear gloves, but I really don't like wearing weight-lifting gloves. I prefer the cold bar.

The outdoor MetaFit session was on when I was leaving the gym. It wasn't too cold or windy today nor was it raining - actually, the sun was out ... and I thought to myself, I could have joined this class. That made me revise my 'I'm not working out outdoors in the winter' statement to one of - If I think I can manage it, I'll do it. Had I not already completed an intense HIIT session indoors, I would have joined in today. Maybe I'll join in the next class. We'll see.

The bottom line is that it's important to be flexible. I love having a routine, and if you see me in the gym, you'll see me writing down my progress in my fitness journal. However, I've realized that things don't always go according to plan. Instead of throwing in the towel, you've to make adjustments to make new circumstances work in your favor. The things I was complaining about weren't really a big deal. They were minor annoyances which were easily dealt with after making a few adjustments. I know that there was a time when I would have been hung up on all the negatives and things that weren't going according to my plan ... but having that stubborn attitude didn't get me far at all. Making a few adjustments made a huge difference and helped me get in another great workout.

staying warm in the weight room with 3 layers of clothing 

post-workout fuel - salmon burgers on a bed of spinach with some cucumber and avocado

I've decided that I need to eat more raw greens -- this salad was perfect for that! 

Family and Food

I was contemplating calling this post Family Feud instead of Family and Food!

I love my family, I really do, but man I really almost lost my temper when dealing with things related to food.

I understand that a lot of social functions center around food and providing tasty food is a way for people to show that they care about you and that they want to nurture you. Trust me. I'm from Bangladesh. I think our national pastime is (force)feeding others.

Over the past couple of years, I've become good about dealing with food-pushers. I know how to talk to them and explain why I'm eating the way I am. I've also become better at negotiating social situations - some days I eat off my regular plan because I have chosen to do so; other times I politely decline. I've even become known for bringing my own meals (with permission from the host/hostess).

Still. It's tough.

At home, things are good for the most part. My brother and my mom get it and are 100% supportive. When I landed in Bangladesh, I saw that my mom had bought tons of filtered water for me and had stocked up on vegetables and proteins. As a back up plan, I had brought quinoa and my homemade granola along with me. My father, on the other hand, (who is diabetic) was very different. Despite him knowing that I do the Whole Life Challenge and what it involves, he still offers me chocolate biscuits (which shouldn't be in the house anyway), cheese, sweets, etc. I try to just let it go. I don't understand why he doesn't get it, but I have resolved to not let it get to me. It does get annoying sometimes, but for the most part, I'm able to let it go - not just with my father, but with other people too.

This time, however, I was caught off guard when we had a family gathering and people were bringing dishes over to the house. Although they had been told that I eat really simply now, it didn't really go as planned. My aunts brought vegetable dishes - but they were either cooked with cream and cheese or wrapped in pastry or something else. I refused to eat - politely of course!

Everything was fine until they started complaining that I was starving myself and that I became a very picky person.

I immediately corrected them and said that I'm not picky, I'm healthy. I also told them that since I mostly eat clean, eating things that are deep friend and coated with flour and cheese will surely make me sick - did they want that for me?

I was hoping that the logical explanation would help them see my way, but they thought that I was just being silly.

I was then called rude for not eating -- but I didn't give in.

I didn't care if they were my elders and all that stuff. They were being hurtful and at some point, I really do think, you need to take a stand. You can't be bullied (yes, bullied) to eat in a way you don't want to eat.

A few years ago, I would never protest.
Then, I found myself being more disciplined, but I would still bend a lot.
Now, I don't negotiate. I only eat what I want. Whether it is healthy or unhealthy, it's my choice and I refuse to be guilted into eating something that I don't want to for the sake of someone else's satisfaction. It's not about being rude or stubborn. It's just about putting yourself first and being happy with your choice -- I guess that's always the bottom line. Be happy with whatever decision you make. You're in charge. Take control.

Gulp! They're looking at Me!

Being self-conscious about the way you look sucks. It was one thing I have had to deal with on a daily basis as a teacher (something I've written about before). My passion for teaching always superseded my discomfort, but it was always there. Getting over this self-doubt was a big motivating factor for losing weight and getting healthy.

Over time, I've gotten better, but I still haven't completely gotten over my self-consciousness. I still worry about what I look like, what others think about the way I look, how they will judge me, what they will think ... there are so many thoughts that swirl around in my head. With that kind of pressure, standing in front of a crowd isn't easy.

As I said, I have gotten better. The doubt is not as strong, and I'm usually able to set the nerves aside and just power through whatever I have to do - whether it's teaching or working out in the gym or participating in a sport.

The thing with teaching at the university is that before stepping in the classroom, I could choose my dress, put on my heels, and basically create a shield around me - armor myself with whatever I needed to not feel (too) self-conscious.

in the classroom 

The good thing with going to the gym is that the activities are usually isolated. You just go about your routine and you don't have to pay attention to what others are doing/saying/looking at. Plus, once again, you wear what you need to feel comfortable.

bright and sporty 

I had to really think (more than) twice before starting Jiu-Jitsu because not only did it involve close contact with others, but it also involved using my body -- I mean really using my body, to twist and turn, to lift people off me, to climb on top of others. I mean it was ALL body.

Just like my passion for teaching helped me push past the self-consciousness and get my job done, my passion for fitness and Jiu-Jitsu helped me push past the negative, doubtful thoughts and get in the gym/on the mats and pursue my interest. I didn't want my mindset to get in the way of any potential progress.

Yesterday I was put to the ultimate test when I taught my first adult's Jiu-Jitsu class. There I was, standing in front of a group of 20 people (all men!!), in my white Gi (which I've always had issues with & it's totally unflattering), teaching one an actual martial arts class -- how did that happen? How did I go from a university lecture hall to a Jiu-Jitsu mat?

I was so nervous leading up to my lesson that I had to have a stern talk with myself -- I can't be nervous about everything!! I have to focus on just one thing and let the other anxieties go.

The main goal was to teach the class -- so I focused on the lesson.
That meant letting go of any general nervousness of speaking in front of others, letting go of any unease of wearing my Gi, letting go of any doubt I had about my abilities, and most of all, letting go of any self-consciousness of my body. It was not easy! Seriously - bending over, falling backwards, and sprawled all over the mats rolling around ... ya, just a tiny bit different from wearing heels and a dress standing in front of a lecture hall!

I was up there for the students to teach a lesson -- and that's what I did. It was a tough lesson to teach -- mainly because there were lots of details to cover in a short period of time. However, it went well. The students were amazing - attentive, supportive, and -- they totally shocked me at the end when they gave me a huge round of applause. I was so touched. It was awesome! It was a great (scary) first experience, but it taught me so much. I'm so thankful to our head instructor Ben for supporting me and being by my side (and being the perfect 'Bad Guy' in the demos). I have lots to work on before getting on the mats again to teach, but I'm looking forward to the challenge :)

Friday Five

I can't believe a whole week went by without me posting. That was not my intention -- but this week didn't coincide that well with my good intentions. I felt rather off sync throughout the week. It's amazing how one or two out of the ordinary events can throw me off my groove. I really do need to learn how to be less reliant on having a set schedule.

Here are the top 5 things that got me off my A game this week -- Although the week didn't go according to plan, it wasn't all a failure. I tried my best to learn from each incident - and I hope that the lessons will keep me moving forward.


Self-Doubt
Last week I found myself spiraling downward into a really dark head-space. I let one little incident consume me and fill me without doubt -- doubt of things I've accomplished and doubt of what lies ahead in my future. It was not good. The scariest part for me was that I could feel myself sinking into the quicksand of negative thoughts. In the past, not only would I not have control over these thoughts, but I would also fully believe in them and allow myself to get pulled down. This time, it was different. I knew better. It was a true struggle within. On the one hand, I felt suffocated. On the other, I was trying to coax myself out of the funk. I was 'happy' that I could recognize what was happening and that I really didn't want to go there. I knew that I could pull out of this and that it was foolish to allow one little thing - that really didn't have anything directly to do with me - to throw me off my course.

I had one day of pure darkness, but I didn't allow myself to to remain there. I kept rallying, and that's what led me to reassess a few things.

Prioritizing 
While I was trying to figure out how to get out of my funk, one thing became clear to me -- If I was doubting my abilities/potential/skill, then I obviously wasn't working hard enough. I know that may seem like I'm being hard on myself, but if I'm 100% honest with myself, I know I can do better. There are little things here and there that I let slide. In the desire and attempt to try and do it all, I can't always give 100% of myself to each thing that I try.

My biggest priority at the moment is to fine tune my Jiu-Jitsu training so that I'm ready for LA in January (assuming I get accepted -- I haven't found out yet; regardless, it's best I start my training now so that I'm not caught off guard later on). That means extra time on the mat, extra time studying my moves, and extra time drilling. The last thing I want, as I mentioned before, is to feel unprepared or unsure of myself because I didn't give all my efforts into my training. It's important to me, so it has to be a priority.

With that as my main goal at the moment, I've had to sacrifice other things, namely my Muay Thai training at the moment. It really, really makes me sad to not pursue this line of training at the moment, but it is just for the moment. Hopefully once I know more about what's happening in January, I'll be able to work Muay Thai back into my schedule. Right now, all roads lead to Jiu-Jitsu -- and that means working on my endurance, strength, and flexibility through specific Jiu-Jitsu related drills and more mat time.

Leftovers 
In addition to training, of course my food has to be looked at. Coming off the Whole Life Challenge has been tricky. It's amazing - I can be SO disciplined on the challenge - not even think of things on the forbidden list, but once I'm off, things change. I haven't gone totally out of control, but I have probably eaten a bit more than I should have and I've definitely given in to my sweet tooth. Another thing that set it off was having people over during the weekend -- although the main meal was clean (and whole life challenge friendly), there were desserts ... and instead of throwing them out (which I totally should have done), they were eaten ... in addition to that, some other changes in my week's schedule meant that my weekly food prep didn't get done ... and that has had an impact. Again, it's not that the foods have been horrible -- but I think that being on the Whole Life Challenge and totally cutting out all sugars, preservatives, etc. etc. changed my body chemistry. I feel the difference between my homemade granola and the one bought in the store - obviously the store bought one, no matter how organic and how 'clean' still has other stuff in it. All these little things add up -- and now they need to be subtracted. It's just not worth it. Food prep has to be a top priority -- even before my training actually, coz' I can't train right if I don't eat right.

Sleeplessness 
For the past 5 days my sleep has been breaking around 2 a.m. Last night/this morning I couldn't get back to sleep. What's ironic is that normally my mind is crammed with thoughts and stresses and worries ... but my mind was actually blank. I was even trying to come up with soothing, relaxing thoughts but it just didn't work. I thought that I'd have a good night's sleep coz' I had had such a good workout that day (weights, MetaFit, and Jiu-Jitsu), but I just couldn't relax and sleep. I think it has to do with all these extra chemicals in me. It's the only thing significant thing that I can think of. I'm hoping that cleaning up my food will sort my sleep out.

Rest and Reset 
This weekend, I'm hoping to catch up on my sleep, to solidify my plan for the upcoming week - particularly how to navigate through Thanksgiving!! - and enjoy a reunion with some friends I haven't seen in a few years.

Working without Numbers - Part 2

Calories in vs. calories out.

We've all heard it before, right? The numbers have to work in a certain way -- you need to burn more than you eat in order to lose weight …

Do you agree?

I definitely agree with the basic principle, but for me, it doesn't work that simply.

I feel like I've been experimenting with my food for years now. I workout regularly, I eat clean, but if it all came down to calculations of calories in vs. calories out and the number on the scale, it doesn't add up.

I sometimes wonder if there's a particular ingredient that I'm eating that may be healthy but still doesn't agree with me? I'm not feeling ill or bloated or anything. I'm not even feeling lethargic or fatigued. I'm just not dropping weight like I feel I should be. It's not about muscle vs. fat. I mean, I know I've put on muscle, but it's still not enough to justify the weight.

It's frustrating. I know that I need to keep tweaking my eating and my workouts until I find the right formula -- the one that works for my body chemistry and my activity level.

The important thing is to keep going.

I know that years ago I would have thought to myself - Forget this! If I'm putting in all this effort and not seeing any results, why should I go on?

This attitude is not helpful at all. Seriously. Who will you help/hurt by eating junk food and throwing healthy habits out the window just because the numbers don't always add up? This is why it's important to keep on Working without the Numbers -- it's the effort that matters.

Daily exercise is good for you.
Eating healthy is good for you.

The reason why the numbers on the scale may not be adding up is not because you're being healthy. It's going to be because of something else. However, there should be no doubt that exercise and clean eating are healthy habits that have long term benefits.

I know it's easy to get hung up on the numbers and feel frustrated. Trust me, I feel it more often than I care to admit ... but the important thing is to not give up. Keep going. Keep trying. Take comfort in knowing you're putting forth your best effort and the results will come. Suddenly you'll find that you've got a bit more pep to your step, you can finish that extra rep with better form, and those jeans suddenly have a bit more room in them. Success comes in all sorts of shapes and sizes.

Stay positive and keep trying. Don't get distracted by the numbers.

Ending the Month on a High Note

Wow, October has been super busy and also very, very fulfilling.

You  know that t-shirt that says Eat, Sleep, Train Repeat? Well, add in Study and Cook and that pretty much sums up my life. It's routine. It's predictable. It's all very satisfying :)

Ever since I started studying for the Instructor's Certification Program, I have been overwhelmed with work. The curriculum is a lot more detailed than I had expected. It's been an amazing learning experience. I have particularly loved how I've seen links between the teaching methodology I've applied while teaching English at a university and what is applied to teaching martial arts. It's been fascinating. Although it's been a lot of work, I really have been quite thrilled at all the new things I've been learning. I've made quite a bit of progress through the curriculum over the past 2 weeks. There's still a lot more to be done ... I'll definitely be nervous until I find out whether or not I've qualified for the next level.

There's about another week of the Whole Life Challenge left. I've been completely spot on with everything - my nutrition, my workouts, my lifestyle challenges ... I have used some of my indulgence points and have learned a lot about my food mindset in the process. I'll be posting my reflections on the challenge on my WLC blog later on. The food parameters of the challenge definitely suit me. The only thing I still have to work on is my desire for something sweet. I tried a few challenge-compliant desserts this time (different things sweetened with dates), and while they were nutritionally sound, this past week I've given up on those as well because I really need to not want something sweet at all. It's tough. It's something that I'll continue to work on.

The good thing is that I've got my food prep down to quite a routine. I do spend quite a lot of time on Sundays getting food ready for the week. It is worth it though. I just wish I could do it ALL on Sunday. I still end up spending a couple of hours a day with food prep - particularly dinner. I'm getting better at it, but as much as I love cooking, I would like to cut down a bit more kitchen time. Let's see how November goes ...

I finished my Weights program. It was a tough one -- fewer sets and reps, heavier weights. As much as I loved pushing myself and lifting heavy, it was a difficult program to follow. First of all, I didn't count on having to take so much time to recover from my lifts. After I did my 90 kg squats, it took me a good 4 days before I felt completely like myself. Part of it is that I haven't really been fully resting - I'm either at MetaFit, Jiu-Jitsu, Muay Thai, or Yoga ... so my schedule is packed. It's fun and I do enjoy it all, but I the heavy lifts threw me off a bit. Once I got to the really heavy lifts, I was only lifting once, maybe twice a week. I'm happy with the progress I made, but I'm glad to be scaling back to a more regular program until the start of next year.

Yesterday, I went up to 100 kg on my Deadlifts. This was a big accomplishment for me given that I really suffered when I dislocated my wrist at the end of last year. Refraining from any weight training for 4 months and then starting again from really light weights was difficult for me - psychologically more than physically. However, I'm so glad I (for once) actually listened to my doctor and followed my rehab program to the letter. It helped me get to where I am today. I still haven't hit my 120 max as before, but I'll get there.

Here's a comparison pic - the top photo is of me doing Deadlifts for the first time after dislocating my wrist. It was taken in March 2014 at I'm tentatively lifting 25 kg. Then there's the mini video excerpt of me lifting 100 kg. Prior to that 100 kg lift, I had completed 3 sets of 6 reps at 70, 80, and 90 kg respectively, so I felt great about my progress. Onward and upward! :)