I was contemplating calling this post Family Feud instead of Family and Food!
I love my family, I really do, but man I really almost lost my temper when dealing with things related to food.
I understand that a lot of social functions center around food and providing tasty food is a way for people to show that they care about you and that they want to nurture you. Trust me. I'm from Bangladesh. I think our national pastime is (force)feeding others.
Over the past couple of years, I've become good about dealing with food-pushers. I know how to talk to them and explain why I'm eating the way I am. I've also become better at negotiating social situations - some days I eat off my regular plan because I have chosen to do so; other times I politely decline. I've even become known for bringing my own meals (with permission from the host/hostess).
Still. It's tough.
At home, things are good for the most part. My brother and my mom get it and are 100% supportive. When I landed in Bangladesh, I saw that my mom had bought tons of filtered water for me and had stocked up on vegetables and proteins. As a back up plan, I had brought quinoa and my homemade granola along with me. My father, on the other hand, (who is diabetic) was very different. Despite him knowing that I do the Whole Life Challenge and what it involves, he still offers me chocolate biscuits (which shouldn't be in the house anyway), cheese, sweets, etc. I try to just let it go. I don't understand why he doesn't get it, but I have resolved to not let it get to me. It does get annoying sometimes, but for the most part, I'm able to let it go - not just with my father, but with other people too.
This time, however, I was caught off guard when we had a family gathering and people were bringing dishes over to the house. Although they had been told that I eat really simply now, it didn't really go as planned. My aunts brought vegetable dishes - but they were either cooked with cream and cheese or wrapped in pastry or something else. I refused to eat - politely of course!
Everything was fine until they started complaining that I was starving myself and that I became a very picky person.
I immediately corrected them and said that I'm not picky, I'm healthy. I also told them that since I mostly eat clean, eating things that are deep friend and coated with flour and cheese will surely make me sick - did they want that for me?
I was hoping that the logical explanation would help them see my way, but they thought that I was just being silly.
I was then called rude for not eating -- but I didn't give in.
I didn't care if they were my elders and all that stuff. They were being hurtful and at some point, I really do think, you need to take a stand. You can't be bullied (yes, bullied) to eat in a way you don't want to eat.
A few years ago, I would never protest.
Then, I found myself being more disciplined, but I would still bend a lot.
Now, I don't negotiate. I only eat what I want. Whether it is healthy or unhealthy, it's my choice and I refuse to be guilted into eating something that I don't want to for the sake of someone else's satisfaction. It's not about being rude or stubborn. It's just about putting yourself first and being happy with your choice -- I guess that's always the bottom line. Be happy with whatever decision you make. You're in charge. Take control.
Losing weight has been filled with ups and downs - both emotionally and on the scale. However, managing to lose weight and continuing to grow stronger, faster, leaner, and fitter has been an amazing experience. I've discovered many things about myself, and this blog has helped me keep record of those moments. I still have a long way to go, but I'm moving forward with a positive attitude as I attempt to keep Workin' it Out.
Good for you
ReplyDeleteThank you :)
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