Monday, December 9, 2013

Lost

I feel like I have no control over my time. I have no schedule, and I'm so busy with finishing up the last portion of my Personal Trainer Certification final exam that I have no desire to even sit down and come up with a schedule. I just want everything else to stop so that I can get my exam done and get on with my life.

No schedule = not feeling in control = general listlessness

I just don't feel like myself at all. I'm going through the motions of everything else except my studies right now. It's the only thing I'm concentrating on. My deadline is approaching, and although I finished a big portion of my exam a while ago, I left 2 sections for the end thinking that they wouldn't take too much time. How wrong was I?! Part of it is because I'm obsessing over details. I want to make sure I'm answering correctly and thoroughly. The paranoid student in me comes out -- and all those haunting memories of writing my PhD thesis and fretting over details are coming back.

It sucks.

The only training I've done is when I've left the house to go to a class. I'm so distracted that I have just been submitting myself to the orders of someone else. It's been helpful. At least I'm getting in a workout  plus relieving some stress.

However, a big part of me just hasn't been in the mood. When I was at my HIIT training on Friday, part of me kept thinking - You really should be at your desk studying.

Of course this stupid wrist pain is also bringing me down. No improvement. All this typing and sitting at my computer is not helping. I just want it to be fixed. The physio/IMS treatments are spaced out way too much, so I think that I'm getting as much benefit from them as I should be. Tomorrow I'm schedule to see an orthopedist - let's see what he says.

Yesterday during Kajukenbo class I was in a bad mood. I did not want to be there. I mean, I wanted to be in class, but I just wanted to do the work and go home - not talk or anything. There was one portion in the class when our coach was punching us in the stomach. Repeated punches with moderate intensity, then some single powerful punches, and then dropping tires on our stomachs when we were lying on the ground.

It hurt. Kind of. I was so focused on being in a bad mood and not wanting to be there that I just started straight ahead and took it all.

I guess the good thing is that I know that I can block out the pain if I want to.

Anyway - enough complaining and whining. A few photos of cheerier things that have been happening.

Qout market is something that started last month. It's promotes local produce and organic/healthy goods. This month's event was so lovely. I took a 1 hour study break to go check it out:



 I picked up some kale chips and a nutrition fact -- such a cute idea!



A self snapshot of my brother and I on our morning drive to work


A glimpse of an overcast morning in Kuwait - water towers, mosque, and date palms


The Christmas tree is up! Aside from my gloomy mood, it feels quite festive in the house!


3 comments:

  1. I can not do anything without a schedule, I always need one..I am sure you will manage the last 2 sections on time..good luck with your studies and also I hope your wrist heals soon I can only imagine the pain and irritation.
    The market look like fun, I love Christmas markets :)

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  2. Kuwait looks biblically beautiful...only with electricity and indoor plumbing. Concerning all you have going on in your life, it seems you are "Workin' it out."

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  3. I have the same glum attitude when I'm working on a deadline to get all our tax information together including ledger sheets and expenses. Ugh. Hopefully, you can finish everything soon and get back on schedule.

    The picture of Kuwait almost looks like a painting. Very beautiful. :)

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