I walked for another 1.15 hours (adding another 4 km) looking for the key. I was so distraught that I had both D and my brother leave work and come help me find the key (I didn't want to have to deal with changing the lock and telling the landlord - not when leaving for London is right around the corner!). Luckily D spotted it and saved the day. I've been slightly paranoid about losing the key ever since!
My Brazilian Jiujitsu practice has been going really well lately. There were a number of moves that I had a lot of difficulty with before. It's hard to approach training when you know you're going to do something that you're not good at. Whenever I approached the mat knowing that I was going to practice a move that I struggled with before, I would overwhelm myself with negativity.
Why do I do that to myself? I mean, it's not like I'm afraid to work hard or try. However, the fear of failure and the disappointment I feel in myself when I get something wrong is really strong.
In any case, I'm happy to say that all of the moves, and I mean ALL of the moves that I felt hesitant about went wonderfully. I just felt strong and ... determined. I felt determined. That's what it was. I wanted to get it right. That combined with what I can only link to perhaps an improvement in my overall fitness really helped. Plus we kept practicing and practicing until I felt comfortable with each move. It's been great. Really, really great.
I've been timidly testing my strength at the gym with weights. I started really, really light. I'm talking 3 or 4 kg dumbbells and at max a 10 kg barbell. I was so paranoid about straining my wrist that I was doing very simple exercises - just to wake my upper body muscles up (my lower body workouts pretty much remained the same). Each day I'd get a bit stronger, and that felt so good. I'm still not ready to lift anything nearly as heavy as before, but I'm slowly making progress. At least I'm lifting again -- what a relief!