Trying to Be Smarter

For the past several months I've been trying to just 'go with the flow.' I seem to always have so many things going on - whether it's work, family, health issues, or just general stuff - that it's hard to stick to a routine no matter how much I want to or try.

My workouts take up a lot of my time and that means that I need to be really careful about planning what to eat and when. I usually start off the week really well and then when it comes to the last 2-3 days and the groceries are running low and the work is piling up, that things start to kind of unravel. I don't think it ever unravels in a really bad way (i.e. eating junk food) but I know that my food ends up being something to just get me through the day versus really fuel my body.

For example, this morning there wasn't really any food in the house. Before heading to the gym at 6:30 a.m., I had a tablespoon of peanut butter and 2 dates. I then had a great workout before heading to work ... all I had in my bag was a banana to eat.

It was really stressing me out that the banana was the only thing I'd have to eat until around 2 p.m. I knew that it wasn't enough. I had not planned properly. There was nothing healthy available at work, and I didn't have time to prepare something myself or even stop off and buy something healthy. So I just stuck with the banana and then ate lunch around 2 p.m. once I finally got home.

I survived. It wasn't too bad, but I know that this is not the way I want to eat.

I really want to push through the last 10 kilos by being disciplined and smart. I know that there are ways I could drop this weight quickly, but I don't think those methods are sensible or sustainable. I want to do this right - eat right, exercise hard.

It's a little frustrating that even after all this time of trying to get this right that there is still so much work to be done, but I guess it will always be that way.

Even though my eating is really clean, I'm still not eating the way I'd like to. It's really important to me to get that sorted out ... I'll just have to keep working on it.

In the meantime, I'm trying to push through working on my final exam (it's due on the 12th). I've got most of tomorrow to just sit down and do it. Once it's done, hopefully I'll get a chance to review my fitness/nutrition plans ... well, at least until the next thing comes up!

Monday Motivation

Been working on sorting out my thoughts and finding some way to find some sort of inner peace. It doesn't come easy. Most days are fine, but there are also several days when I have to just push through - blindly, without too much thought - just keep moving forward and hope that my mind and body will both catch up to each other and end up in the place I want them to be. Right now, I know that I just need to keep on going. Although there are lots of thoughts and emotions to work on, at this moment in time, I have to put that to the side in order to get what needs to be done done.

As much as I believe in being happy and enjoying each moment, I realize that when there are so many goals to work on, sometimes you've just got to think of the bigger picture and work through that. You've got to look beyond that momentary frustration and the desire to perhaps skip a workout or eat something that you know will set you back and just go forward. Living in the moment is good; enjoying the present is good ... but it's also important to make sure that what you want right now does not take away from your ultimate goal.

Bingeing on Negative Thoughts

You know you still have a lot of work to do when someone says or does something that is hurtful and your first thought is - 'it's because I'm fat' ...

While it is so easy to consume thousands of calories and literally weigh yourself down with unnecessary food and fat, it scares me that it is just as easy to weigh yourself down with negative thoughts that don't have as easy of a solution as exercising and eating healthy/watching portion sizes.

What's worse is that the negative thoughts just seem to constantly occupy my mind and I can't think of anything else. When I'm working out, I can sometimes use those frustrations to fuel my workout, but there are also times when it just causes my energy to drop and I don't feel like moving anymore. During the day, there are times when I'm not thinking about anything and then these negative thoughts just come flooding in.

All of a sudden, neutral thoughts turn into negative ones. I look in the mirror and I can't see any of the positive changes. I look around me and all I see is things that I have yet to tackle versus how far I've come.

It's tough. It's definitely the thing that I'm struggling with most as I've seen more often than not, the healthy habits in terms of food and exercise have remained steady. The thoughts, however, are another story.

There's still much work to be done.

So Busy!!

I'm struggling to keep up with my blog. I really do want to get back to blogging regularly, but I just haven't managed to squeeze in the time. Things have been SO busy, and I feel like they're about to get busier. I seriously need a few extra hours in my day!

I totally forgot about writing a Friday Five post -- that post was supposed to be my easy post to help me keep up with my blog ... ya, didn't happen.

What did happen on Friday was that I spent 6 hours at my desk working on my Specialist in Fitness Nutrition final exam. It's a LONG exam. I only finished 260 questions out of the 350 multiple-choice questions and I've still got the essay and case study to complete. I've pretty much done the case study. I just need to type it up.

On Wednesday I met up with my first 'client' -- she's actually my case study, but she's also going to be a real client of mine. I was nervous, but it went well. It took about 2 hours and I think we're going to need at least another 2-4 hours before I can set something up for her properly. There are so many factors involved in setting up a good program. I don't want to just give out a food plan. I really want to come up with a plan that's going to be sustainable and help the person reach their goals -- and stay positive and motivated throughout the process. It's a tall order, but one that I want to fulfill!

Thursday I had a really good gym session in the morning - weights and cardio - followed by a good RPM session at night.

Me on my bike :)

Today - I did yoga in the morning, followed by RPM ... and then CrossFit in the evening. It kinda sucks that Saturday is the last day of our weekend here and I spent the whole day running around ... but I had the time so I took the opportunity to workout. I'm just going to have to find time during the week to squeeze in those errands that are normally saved for the weekends.

Our yoga pyramid this morning on the beach :) 

As I said, busy, busy, busy.

One week left of the Whole Life Challenge -- going to try and finish off STRONG!!

Video Blog

I finally posted a video blog on my Whole Life Challenge blog. You can check out how things have been going here.

Is This Me?

Over the past 12 days I've had 7 different people come up to me or contact me asking me what I was doing to lose weight. They wanted to know exactly what I was eating and how I have been managing to lose weight. They wanted advice. They asked if I would be willing to sit down and talk with them to come up with a food plan and understand how to exercise.

Today when one more person approached me, I had a minor panic attack. It's one thing when you kind of casually, in passing, tell people what you're doing (I eat right and I exercise), but it's another when they are looking at you and asking for your advice.

I kinda freaked out a little.

I knew that I had been changing, but it didn't fully strike me that my changes were being noticed. I mean, yes, people have commented, but again - I took them more as comments made in passing.

These people, however, were different. They saw me differently. As one person put in her email to me: 'You're living the dream.' -- I was really taken aback by that.

I don't know how to exactly explain why I panicked. Why didn't I just take it as a compliment and move forward with it? I guess it's because even though I'm heading towards where I want to be and how I want to be seen, I didn't realize that perhaps some people already see me as reaching a goal ... in some ways reaching the goal that they have for themselves.

It's been strange. While I do recognize that I have accomplished a lot, I also know that I have further to go. Others, however, have seen the change. I guess dropping 30kg means that you can't hide the change anymore, not that I want to hide it in the first place. I guess it just becomes real.

It actually took me quite some time to calm down. I guess I felt overwhelmed all of a sudden with people pretty much willing to put their lives in my hands and help them change, especially given that so many people approached me in such a short time span.

Deep breath. Refocus. Think sensibly.

There is no need to feel overwhelmed. This is what I want. I've been studying to become a Fitness Nutrition Specialist because I want to be able to help others. I am happy that I was able to create a plan, stick to it, and achieve results. Now I'm working towards doing that for others.

I'm not 100% sure why I panicked. I think it's kinda because I feel like my end goal is really close. I am worried that I might have a setback (though I know I have the tools to push through the setback). I am eager to speed up the process, but I know that I need to just be patient and consistent with my choices and my actions. It's a lot to take in. Perhaps I'm overwhelmed by the excitement of it all, because it really is exciting ... I'm finally becoming the person that I've always wanted to be. So I guess, it really is me.

13 in 13 Post #4: March Review and February Goals

March has been quite a crazy month for me. My main struggle this month was an emotional/mental one.  I seem to have hit some kind of wall and I was having trouble pushing past it. I still went through the motions of daily exercise and healthy eating, but I felt empty while doing it. It was, as I said, just going through the motions. While continuing with good habits may keep me physically lighter, it weighs heavy on my heart and mind and thus the happiness and excitement I was getting from improving my life just wasn't there. I felt empty and heavy at the same time.

Anyway. That was then ... right now, I feel much better and I can say that overall March was a good month for me. I kept up with my checklist - it's working quite well - though because of a change in my routine (again) plus travel, I wasn't as diligent keeping track in the middle of the month.

One of the major changes this month was the lack of MMA training because my trainer has left Kuwait (he went on vacation and never came back!! I have yet to find a trainer to work with. In the meantime I'm practicing on my own though it's not the same ...).

A second change is that I've restarted CrossFit and have been going to spinning class regularly. I've now established a routine, but I am still eager to find a way to incorporate MMA training into my plan. How ironic that it's actually the only thing I really, really want to do yet the one thing that I can't seem to move forward with. Oh well, in the meantime I'm going to just stick to what I've got.

My routine for April kinda looks like this:
- Cardio: RPM, treadmill, rowing machine, outdoor track (5-6 times a week)
- Weights: New Rules of Lifting (3 times a week)
- CrossFit: strength, endurance, HIIT, skills (3 times a week)
- Flexibility: Body Balance and yoga (2 times a week)
- MMA training: mostly working on technique and trying to incorporate some sparring (2-3 times a week)

Here's where I stand:

March Targets	Accomplishment
Lose weight each month, no matter how much	1.4 kg (3 lbs) lost this month 1.5% loss of body fat 4.4 inches lost total
Burpees: 20,130 by the end of the year	625 completed this month 2,665 completed total
Daily stretching of 15 min/day	31/31 days completed
2 outdoor runs	3 completed
Week 7 of C25K	2 days completed; 1 day left
4 body balance/Pilates/yoga classes	4 completed
10 cardio sessions	15 completed
10 weight training sessions	10 completed
10 MMA training sessions	3 completed
ISSA Final exam	started but haven’t completed
4 recipes – post	---
1 chapters & 4 articles to read	only 2 articles read
AAAL Paper	done & presented
Organize bookshelf & cubbies	No! Room is in a bigger disaster!

Despite my schedule disruption, I had planned for about 40 workouts for the month and I managed to get in 45. This is not even including those days when I just did the bare minimum for the Whole Life Challenge (10 min stretching/10 min active recovery per day). I'm pretty pleased with that.

Our task for the month of March was to try something new -- I think for me it would be headstand practice! I'm getting much better at doing it; I can get into a full headstand position on my own - and slowly, not just shooting up; the control feels great - and I can hold myself up for a second or two, but I am eager to really establish my full balance on my own!

I need to organize my time better so that I can work towards my other targets as well. Sometimes I feel like I'm so busy working out that I don't have time to do anything else.

I have to remember it's all about balance. That's definitely going to be my focus this month.

Our task for the month of April is about money - thinking about money & how we spend it. I think I'll write up a separate post for that as there are definitely a few spending habits that I have changed along with the other lifestyle changes I've been making lately.

Again, most of my goals for April are quite similar to those of the previous months. This month instead of breaking down my workouts into a specific type, I'm just going to put a general target of how many workouts I want to do this month and on the side list any specific targets (e.g. C25K).

April 2013 Goals

1) Weight loss: End the month lighter than what I started
2) Exercise: Complete 40 workouts this month
3) Nutrition Studies: Complete the final exam (the deadline is April 12th so I don't have a choice)
4) Cooking: Post my recipes!!!
5) Academic: Work on chapter abstract; get some reading done
6) Burpees: Continue working towards the ultimate goal of 20,130
7) Yoga/Stretching: Reintroduce yoga in the morning & do a minimum of 15 minutes of deep stretching daily
8) Other: Get my room organized; de-clutter; and catch up on emails

Lots to do, so let's get it done!!

I'll leave you with my favorite pix from March :)

 Front squat sequence (3 sets/10 reps; 50 kg/110 lbs)

Boxing practice with my new UFC gloves