Sunday, July 8, 2012

Just Going with It

I tossed and turned through most of the night. I think yesterday's stress/anxiety really affected me. Whenever my trend of insomnia starts to creep up, I get even more frustrated - I'm tired. I want to sleep. My mind just won't stop.

When my alarm went off at 7:15, I just wasn't ready to get out of bed. Not only was I tired, but I knew that I had a whole day of errands to run, and I wasn't looking forward to that at all.

I put going to the gym completely out of my mind. I had already worked out 5 days in a row so I figured a rest day was ok. Plus, as I said, there were tons of errands to run - not just any errands. Tedious, frustrating errands.

Still, we've got to go through this. If this is the anxiety I'm feeling, I can't imagine how much stress mom is feeling not knowing when she can leave Kuwait or when she'll receive her indemnity payment etc. So, I thought - just suck it up and go with it. Go with it I did ...

We ran errands from 8:30 a.m. until 4:30! There was a lot of waiting around involved, which I find more tiresome than when we're actually moving and doing something ... still, we made a bit of progress. No fixed departure date set yet ... more waiting to be done.

When my parents moved in, I set 2 rules - don't wash the dishes and don't cook. They were coming under a lot of stress. The least I could do was take care of them in this way so that they don't need to worry about food (plus it was my way of controlling the food situation at home). I finally had to cave in and allow them to cook. They were really insistent. So I thought fine - mom cooks on Sunday and dad cooks on Monday. I'll help set the menu so that it's as healthy as possible ... and then I'll just go with it -- and ENJOY it. They're both terrific cooks - why not take advantage of what will probably be my last home-cooked meals in Kuwait.

Relinquishing control does NOT come easy to me ... but I did.

Mom made a cauliflower, sweet potato, and carrot curry for me (not really curry though because it didn't have gravy) and a chicken korma for the carnivores in the family. There was some rice, roti, and yogurt as well.

It was delicious. {Do you like my curry serving dishes? Used them for the first time tonight though I bought them over a year ago!}

I'm trying to take it easy and not get myself worked up. I know that it has an effect on me physically (insomnia/abdominal pain) and mentally (anxiety) -- why freak out about things I can't control? I guess coz' I think that I can control a lot of it ... baby steps. Baby steps. I'm trying to make it work.

Oh - SSSD Challenge Update

Challenge for the Week - Lose 2 lbs
I really liked having this as my focus. I weighed myself each morning and kept asking myself with everything I ate - will this lead to your 2 lb loss?

I tried my best and saw my weight fluctuate on a daily basis - up a pound, down a pound, up two pounds, down a pound etc.

I didn't lose my 2 lbs but I'm still working on it. At the very least it made me even more conscious of not only what I was eating, but how it was having an impact on my body -- always a learning experience.

Personal Goals
1. Not to let the stress of not having a fixed routine get me down and lead to bingeing - Mostly successful with this, but I started to lose it towards the end. No binging - success!
2. Do at least 5 workouts of some sort - I managed 6 :)
3. Back to tracking - Only mentally, not on paper. 
4. Keep the 2 lb loss target in mind - I did keep it in mind, but it didn't get me to my goal! Gotta keep working on it. 

This week's goals:
Challenge for the week - Vegetarian week! Yay - easy since I only eat fish & vegetables :)
Personal goals -- Same as last week. Gotta try and make some positive changes and see some good results -- My trip to Italy is coming up soon!


  1. Looks like letting your mom cook turned out okay. Sending good thoughts for a peaceful mind your way.

  2. I am so sorry you are so stressed. I can imagine that everything you are going through takes it's toll in many ways. Insomnia is the worst! I know what it's like to lay in bed and just have your mind race. Hopefully you will get some peace soon.
    Your food pictures look fabulous - love those dishes!
    Glad the mini-challenge is a good one for you this week! I am excited to try a bunch of new recipes. I know I will never convert to vegetarianism BUT it doesn't hurt to eat this way for a few stretches at a time - especially when the fruits and veggies here are at their peak!
    Have a great week!

  3. I've been reading through your blog and wow - you have been through a lot. I'm glad you were able to let your parents cook a bit - it likely makes them feel needed and maybe helps relieve some of the stress they may be feeling as well. I love the dishes you used!

  4. The food looks awesome. I posted about your cauliflower soup today, which is delicious by the way. I also helped myself to your picture because it was pretty. I hope that is okay and you don't mind.

    Hang in there. I know you need to get some sleep. My daughter is the same way. She says she just can't turn off her mind even when she is so tired she can hardly stand it. She has been taking melatonin a few days a week because it really does work for her.

  5. Hi! I used to have sleeping problems, and still sleep lightly. What I did to make my sleep better was to experiment with every idea I could come up with from books and internet.

    Things that helped my sleep: A nap in the afternoon--take sleep anytime you can. Often getting restless husband to sleep on the couch--since he wasn't sleeping anyway and just wanted to watch t.v. <<I read an article about that. An expert suggested that married couples get worse sleep due to each other's different sleep patterns. Getting a little wave sound machine, so I didn't hear every click and step all night. Adjusting the lighting in my room to suit sleep. Friendly calming things by my bed. <<Just some ideas.

    :-) Marion

  6. The food looks fabulous! I love your curry dishes. So many interested dishes in that picture. I think it was a good compromise to let your parents cook two days a week. Plus it does give you a little break. Take care and have a good week six!


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