Every since my Fugly Day in January I've had to take a step back and reassess how I wanted live my life. Having a doctor tell me that the pain is something I'll just have to live with for the rest of my life is totally unacceptable. Unfortunately I don't have the time or the resources to pursue treatment at the moment ... but I refuse to let it get the best of me.
It's not easy. Many days a flit in and out of depression. I don't talk about it because there really isn't anything anybody can do except sympathize ... I don't need sympathy. I do allow myself to take a moment, only once in a while, to feel some sadness. Although my post-op pain is gone, I'm back to a constant level 3 pain, with pangs of pain that I would rank 7-8 out of 10 on most days ... it's hard to just grin and bear it, but I do because the other option - sitting around moping about it - isn't going to solve the problem ... nor is that attitude or lack of movement going to help me lose this weight I desperately want to get rid of. I have 55-60 lbs. left to lose ... I've been plateauing at this weight for enough time - it's time to move forward. Pain or no pain, I've got to push through it.
I did Body Pump this morning with KD. Great class, though half way through the chest track I felt my right arm give way. I just could not find the energy to push up with my right arm. It was strange. I felt the same during the tricep workout ... I need to talk to her about it. It may just be that my arms are kind of 'asleep' from not doing any intense weights for almost a month. Hopefully restarting the NROL4W workout on Sunday will help me with that.
I followed Pump class with another Zumba session. Since I know the moves now I can concentrate more on my posture and holding in 'abs' etc. Hopefully I'll continue to improve with each session.
I have definitely found that movement eases the pain - somewhat. I may be pushing it a little, but so far I don't feel anything so severe that I can't handle. I did have really bad cramping this afternoon, but I stayed away from the painkillers (yesterday I had 8 - yikes!). I've already taken 2 today, but am really trying to resist taking another dose.
Keep your head up :)I admire your determination. Zumba helps!
ReplyDeleteI just want you to know that not a day goes by that I don't think about you. And not in a pity way, but in a compassionate way. I understand the discomfort you feel, though obviously not the other stuff. I wish there was something I could do to help, to listen, to hug you, to laugh with you, to work out with you. I so admire your strength and determination. I know it can't be easy at times. I hope that after you settle some of the other stuff that's going on that you'll have the ability to focus on finding out if there's a potential fix for this. I will be your biggest cheerleader.
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