My in-laws are arriving from London tomorrow. Each year when they arrive, I make them a welcome basket full of goodies to munch on throughout the day. They stay at a hotel when they come here (lucky, aren't I? Though they are lovely, but still, you know how it can get with visitors in the house for an extended period of time!). Anyway. Since they stay at a hotel, it's nice to have something to snack on instead of having to go to a restaurant or raid the minibar.
Today when I went to the grocery store I almost had an anxiety attack. This basket of goodies that I make them is usually filled with all sorts of chips, chocolates, and biscuits. All their favorites that they don't normally eat when they're home.
Am I hypocrite for buying this stuff and giving it to them?
These are things that I don't buy anymore. I don't even remember the last time I sat down and had a bag of crisps on my own. These are things that I tell other people not to eat, not to buy ... don't tempt yourself by having junk in the house. Since it's the advice I give, it's also something I try my very best to live by (and I'm happy to say I'm successful 99% of the time).
I feel like I'm doing something wrong by buying these things for them. They're not binge eaters. It's not like they're going to sit down and eat everything in one or two days. They'll eat it over the next two weeks, and in between they'll go swimming, they'll go for walks ... They'll have salad and fruit etc. during breakfast and dinner ... this is just a treat.
To me, when I write all that stuff it just sounds like I'm making excuses, like I'm trying to feel less guilty for giving my in-laws unhealthy food.
I don't know.
When I got to the checkout counter I felt ashamed. I felt embarrassed. To me all I kept thinking was - The guy at the checkout till must be thinking, 'Seriously? Who eats this much junk?' Yes, I know it's not for me, but still, I really did feel ashamed.
I don't know if there's an easy answer to this, and for those of you who are reading this post I do hope you'll share your opinion. It's like when people come over for dinner, do I make dessert? I make GOOD desserts - brownies that melt in your mouth, cheesecake that brings silence to the room as each person enjoys each bite -- but I don't feel like I can/should make those anymore. Is this goody basket the same? As someone who is trying to lose weight, is it right for me to buy/prepare unhealthy foods for others?
I just can't wrap my head around it. Maybe I'm over-thinking it. I guess since it's been such a long time since I bought any of that stuff that I'm having difficulty processing it. I know that I have a difficult time resisting chips and chocolate, so I've just stopped buying them.
In the end, I know that I am responsible for my actions - what I eat and how much I eat is my decision. However, to what extent am I responsible for what I provide for others? Am I being an enabler? Or am I just making a big deal out of nothing?