D and I were discussing this change over lunch today. When he met me 6 years ago, I was living in extremes. Extremely happy/extremely sad; completely calm/totally strung out; gorging on unhealthy food/having only a cucumber all day; worst of all, bingeing and purging.
I used to hate food. I was so anxious about eating that I would have a panic attack before eating, while eating, and after eating. I was miserable.
After pretty much hitting rock bottom, I started to change and included exercise in my routine. It was great, but I still hadn't changed the way I was eating, and I definitely still had a terrible relationship with food.
This is where the major change has happened.
The first main step was cleaning up my eating - no junk food. I don't remember the last time we pulled into a fast food joint. I think the worst thing that I eat (once every 2-3 months) is some pizza. Now I have 0 interest in those types of foods. There are still some things that I would have trouble controlling myself around - French fries are probably my biggest weakness accompanied by my hard to control sweet tooth. Still simply dropping fast food out of my diet was a huge help.
That's when I really started to taste food, noticing how fresh, good ingredients tasted so much better than those preservative-packed greasy foods. What a difference it has made to my eating.
I feel very fortunate that I rarely eat out as that seems to be the biggest downfall and struggle of a lot of people who are trying to lose weight. Not to sound boastful, but I just can't think of many restaurants that can deliver as fresh, clean food as good as what I can cook at home.
It takes time and effort though. No doubt about it, but that time commitment is so worth it.
Two days ago D and I ordered in some Arabic food - grilled chicken and fish plus some hummus and other small sides. We couldn't eat it. Even though it wasn't a fully unhealthy meal, the bit that we had eaten made us feel too full and uncomfortable. We threw it out -- that's what led to today's reflection - how much our eating habits have changed.
Now planning my menu, buying the groceries, and prepping/cooking are fun. I enjoy the process, enjoy the taste, and best of all enjoy how I feel.
What a great change.
I'm so excited to take this new enjoyment and learn how to cook better, cleaner, healthier food and really enjoy what I'm eating and how it makes me feel.