These are the date/peanut butter/coconut bites (DPBC bites) for last night's dinner party dessert. They're made with all natural ingredients and are permitted by the WLC. They're small little round treats that taste really good ... they're allowed ... so why not have them?
I did have them. I had two yesterday (1 for the first taste after making it and the 2nd after dinner) and I had one this morning.
I still want more though.
I spent most of the morning at my desk doing some research/writing and in the back of my mind all I could think of was those yummy DPBC bites and how much I wanted them. The voice in my head kept nagging - Go on. Have one. What's wrong with having one? Go on. You know you want one.
What a bloody nag.
Aside from that one with my morning coffee, I didn't have any others. I like them as they are a yummy small snack to have just before a workout for a quick boost of energy, but they're dangerous. They're dangerous because I know that they're easy to keep eating (actually not that easy; they're quite dense and a bit chewy) -- but they bring on an M&M mentality - not just eating and finishing 1 M&M at a time, rather eating them by the handful thus consuming pointless calories ... just coz' they're there.
That's the only reason this nag has reared her ugly head. They're in the house. I'm here. They're here. There's nothing stopping me from getting up and grabbing one ... but seriously, for what? To satisfy some false inner craving? I don't need one. The nag thinks I want one, but I know I really don't.
Where does this nag come from? Will she ever leave? Will she ever stop whispering in my ear encouraging me to have 'just one' and coming up with all the excuses for why it's ok and 'one can't hurt'?
In the end, aside from 5 pieces (to have 1/day over the next 5 days) I packed up the rest of them and took them to the CrossFit Box to share with the rest of the team. Aside from licking what was left on the spoon, I didn't have one. I resisted not because of the calories or anything like that. I just wanted to push past that voice. It's an illusion. It's a bad habit that's rearing her ugly head.
I don't want to get into the habit of eating something just because it's 'allowed'. I need to develop more control than that, and from there I hope to progress to the point where I don't even think twice about things like that. Baby steps.
In the meantime, I achieved two more Personal Bests today at the CrossFit box:
The bench press was tough and I know I need to work on that more. The back squat -- well, 80kg was my max a few weeks ago. I knew I could do more, so doing 90kg was fine. When I put the extra plates on for the 100kg I told myself not to think about it. Our coach said it would be the record for the women ... everyone was watching. I definitely had to block all that out. It was just me and the bar. I focused, I pushed up with the bar on my back - easy. Now to go all the way down, and I mean all.the.way.down. There was a fleeting thought of - Oh shit. What if I ... - then I stopped. No point in completing that thought. The only way is up. The only way is up! I tried to brace whatever core muscles I have, I dug deep, and I pushed up. Done. Whew.
Concentrate. Stay positive. Try your best.
It felt great.
Strength and Conditioning
- Overhead squats (tough; am a bit wobbly, but towards the end I was getting better) 6x6
- Bench presses
- Back squats
WOD - 1 min/3 rounds
burpees, ropes, bench presses, leg raises, ball to walls
Followed by a few other exercises (e.g. squats, push ups, plank, etc.).
I stretched out a bit there and then came home and did 15 minutes of more focused stretching. The muscles around my shoulder blades are a bit sore, but nothing too bad.
I'm ready for dinner!