Sunday, December 2, 2012


I have so much stuff.

I feel like I've been throwing out/donating/getting rid of my 'stuff' for the past year, but still there's more.

Today I felt like I reached my breaking point.

I was going through my clothes - again - and all of a sudden I just felt completely overwhelmed. There were just so many clothes to go through. I just couldn't believe I had so many (where were they every morning when I struggled to figure out what to wear?!). I was irritated at myself because I knew that many of them were from years and years ago (I'm talking 8 or so years). I've hung on to them because they're still in good shape and because I thought - maybe one day I'll wear them again. I'd say 90% of my clothes have been worn well; the other 10% have either just been worn once or not at all.

As I was pulling clothes off the hanger I was getting frustrated. Most of the clothes were going into the donate pile, and as the pile started getting higher, I started to feel more anxious.

I don't know if I can explain exactly what was being anxious. I guess I felt like I was being really wasteful.

I know that the reason why I'm getting rid of the clothes (they're all way too big for me) is a good one. I'd rather just get rid of them and give them away than have them hanging in my closet collecting dust. I'm also glad that I'm getting rid of them because they're too big rather than too small. It's a sign of progress.

Still, I just felt overwhelmed. I guess it's because even after spending a couple of hours sorting through my stuff I still have much more ... and this is just my clothes!

I also have other bits and pieces - things I've collected (magnets, post cards, other souvenirs from travels) - that I need to go through. I just don't feel like going through them. At the same time, I want them to be totally organized and streamlined. It just takes so much time.

Maybe that's what I'm most annoyed about. If I had taken the time in the first place, first of all to be sensible and not buy them in the first place, and second of all, to put the stuff away in the right place, then I wouldn't be in this mess.

The same frustration applies to my weight too.

Maybe that's what is really bugging me?

If I hadn't gained so much weight in the first place - eaten right, exercised well - then I wouldn't be where I am today.

I know there's really no sense lamenting over the past. I know that I'm heading in the right direction now. I am happy about where I am now and I am optimistic about my future progress ... still, it doesn't remove the fact that there's still a lot of emotional stuff that I need to work through. Just coz' the weight comes off doesn't mean the emotional burdens that got me there in the first place have magically disappeared. I know that the stuff I have accumulated over the years is also a consequence of those emotional issues. There's still much work to be done, and I'm ready to do it (though I'm not saying I won't whine a little along the way).


  1. I get totally overwhelemd & anxious when I sit back and think about everything in my house that needs to be organized. I'm not a naturally organized person. I think it's good that you are getting rid of your clothes. Just start with that project & then move on to the next when you are ready. There's no rush or urgency to this purging you are doing. Take your time and you will get through it all.

  2. Hi! I totally get what you're saying here. I have many of those same feelings when I donate to the thrift store. I feel sort of at a loss, like I'm losing something, and it doesn't feel right or good. On the other hand, the extra stuff feels excessive and selfish too. It brings back too many memories at once, some good ones with certain clothes and worse ones with other clothes--and certainly ones about weight. Maybe this is just a universal feeling. It does go away in a week or so. :D

    :-) Marion

  3. Anonymous6:29 AM

    I think what helps me is realizing I am giving my stuff to others who need it more than I do. Also, part of the whole purging of stuff is then restraining when it comes to buying more stuff ;) I only buy stuff I really really need/want now. A good test? Don't buy something. If you keep thinking about it or needing it, get it. I have to say, minimizing the amount of stuff in the house is a wonderful, liberating feeling. (Raine)


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