Roller coaster

My insomnia is back.

Yesterday I woke up at 3:00 a.m. I stayed in bed until about 3:45, which is when the anxiety got so bad that I had to get out of bed.

I hate it when it gets to that point. There's nothing in particular triggering it, but at the same there's a lot on my mind ... and in my heart. You can keep pushing forward ... but powering through only gets you so far for so long.

I don't even remember what I did for the rest of the morning, but at 10 a.m. KD came to take me out to do some shopping. It was a great morning/afternoon -- we took it slow, but it all added up. By time I got home around 3 p.m. I was knackered and nauseous. I just lay on the couch and could not move until around 8. I wasn't in pain, but I was sore ... really sore.

I took a few pain killers, but they didn't really help.

Unfortunately, tonight was another sleepless night ... what the hell is going on? It's so frustrating ... however, since today is my last official sick leave day, I am determined to do absolutely nothing at all except veg in front of the TV.

This roller coaster of emotions and physical pain/relief is getting old. I sure do hope that things turn around soon.