In fact, I didn't do anything yesterday.
I took two really strong pain killers on Tuesday night and they really knocked me out -- felt the effects throughout the day on Wednesday ... so the lethargy from the pills plus trying to fight the depression related to being stuck at home and thinking about the surgery just had me parked on the sofa watching episode after episode of Grey's Anatomy.
That's all I really seem to be doing lately - just watching TV. There's not much else I can (am allowed to) do at the moment ... it's incredibly frustrating. Although physically I am getting stronger, it's been incredibly difficult emotionally - I feel absolutely overwhelmed at times. I know that I should keep positive and move forward ... yes, I know that ... but that doesn't mean it's easy. So yesterday I guess I just gave myself a break to mope around a bit. I've been out of touch with most of my friends - just don't want to talk about anything or answer any questions ...
Today, however, I kinda tried to get back into a normal routine. I woke up early and sat at my desk instead of in front of the TV. I managed to do a bit of work, but mainly surfed the web and caught up on a few emails.
I still have to take it easy. I'm amazed at how easily I get tired. I mean, that little outing to the doctor's office on Tuesday (followed by some friends coming over later that day) absolutely exhausted me. I even find doing little chores around the house totally wipe me out ... I guess this is why the doctor said I'll need another 10 days before I'm back on my feet.
I can't wait to be able to drive again and get out of the house - even if it's to sit outdoors for a few hours. I feel like I'm missing some really good weather ... maybe this weekend.
You've been on my mind so much, my friend. Hang in there. It is indeed hard to be trapped in the house with no energy. Do the best you can and try not to beat yourself up for not feeling yourself. It's hard though. Be well.
ReplyDeleteYou are on the path! I find this always seems to help me when I'm on, or off, the path.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.osho.com/magazine/tarot/CardSingleNew.cfm
BTW, I usually avoid, or don't pay much attention to, the "Commentary", just what the quotes (words at the top) are.
You've got a cheering section in Western Canada! Woohoo!
Ryan
Thanks Kim and Ryan! I definitely need the cheer!
ReplyDelete