Saturday, November 3, 2012

Trying to be Optimistic

I woke up at 4:00 a.m. this Saturday morning. Nothing too unusual about that, but ideally I would have liked to sleep in a little more given that it's a weekend. Still, my desk was beckoning so after my yoga, which didn't feel as good as it did yesterday, I started to work.

I kept telling myself - come on. Get through it. Just put your head down and work ... however that forced determination and hope soon turned to bitterness, angst, and stress.

On top of all that, my pain, which has been at about a 9 for the past 3 days, finally went through the roof today. It was hard not to take a bunch of painkillers and just lie under my comfortable all day.

It really was a shitty day.

Still, I'm getting better and better at compartmentalizing my moods. It's almost like when I'm in a shitty mood eating right and exercising are a way to tell my negative, moody self 'Screw you. You're not going to get me down. You're not going to make me binge. I'm stronger than that.'

I didn't binge. I didn't eat off plan. I actually didn't eat much at all because I was feeling crappy, but I did have 3 small meals and munched on a few raw nuts and raisins while working at my desk.

I didn't go to CrossFit today and I am pissed that I missed it ... at the same time I do think it was the sensible thing to do. Instead I grabbed some hand weights and my kettlebells and my Bosu and did some upper body resistance & balance/abs exercises. It wasn't much, but I at least wanted to get in half an hour of exercise.

The main sign that things were really off for me today was the fact that my mood didn't really get better after exercise. I usually feel great, but today I just felt blah. I'm way too stressed about this upcoming deadline and my stupid pain.

I will not, however, dwell on all the negative thoughts that have been on my mind all day (it's amazing how sometimes 1 negative thought multiplies into 1,000) and focus instead of a some happy/positive things that have been happening lately.

First of all, today marks the beginning of the last week of the Whole Life Challenge. Once I put in my scores for the day I saw that I was ranked 4th out of 7,099 people participating internationally -- that's pretty good, isn't it?

Second of all, yesterday I got to try out my new boxing shoes during our session. They were great though I do need to get socks that go higher than my ankle.

And just for the heck of it, here's a picture of me in my Halloween costume. It's actually one I bought for last year, but given my surgery, I didn't go to any parties. This year I had a lovely time and though the costume was a bit big (had to make some adjustments), I'm glad I got to wear it (though now what do I do with it?!)

Tomorrow will be a better day. It has to be.


  1. Are you a snake charmer?

  2. I love your new boxing shoes! You'll be kicking some @ss while wearing pink!

    You are really rocking the Whole Life Challenge!

    1. Thanks! I'm glad the challenge has been going well :)

  3. You're doing a great job on the Whole Life Challenge. I'm sorry to hear that your pain has kicked back into high gear--I hope it doesn't last long. Let's try to get through these next few stressful weeks together with lots of deep breaths and lots of sweat (you've got me beat on that front!)

    1. I'm trying to keep in mind that the extreme pain is temporary, but it's tough sometimes! We've definitely got to rock it out until the end of the semester!

  4. That is a-ma-zing that you've done so well in your challenge. Congratulations! That's quite an achievement. Sorry that you're in pain, that sucks and I hope things improve soon.

  5. Great shoes and awesome job on the challenge! I hope that you have a better week and your pain starts to subside.


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