I've mentioned several times before during his previous visits that we often argue about food. Despite dad's health (diabetes, high blood pressure, and being a transplant patient), he does not lead a healthy lifestyle. He doesn't exercise, and he loves to eat all the foods that are bad for him.
When I was younger, I didn't notice these habits because I was partaking in them as well. I never developed the discipline of saying no, of eating smaller portions, or anything else.
Over the past year and a half, as I've become more and more into fitness and really changed my eating habits, it's become harder for me to watch him eat so unhealthily. He eats unhealthily for a 'normal' person, let alone one who is ill. It would be very upsetting for me to see him eat sweets, sneak in chocolate into the house, and overeat. He even talks about food being full of 'good' things like butter and cheese and syrup etc. Hearing that kind of talk makes me want to scream.
With each visit, I've gotten better at not letting it get to me. I mean, it still does, but this time I realized that even though I'm on the Whole Life Challenge, which prohibits sugar, I actually don't want anything that he was offering.
He brought a box of some of my favorite Bangladeshi sweets. It made me feel sad that despite me asking him over and over again - please, don't bring any sweets into the house - he still brought them. He knew I liked them, but instead of seeing it as tempting me (or torturing me), he brought them as a sign of affection (perhaps??). I know when this happened during one of his previous visits, I got really angry and upset. This time, it still upset me, but I let it go.
Just because the sweets are in the house doesn't mean that I have to eat them.
I need to take responsibility for my actions. I need to follow my set of beliefs about what is healthy for me and what I need to do for myself to be happy.
I finally felt secure in saying no.
I knew exactly why I was making my choices; I knew exactly what I wanted. None of it involved sweets or bread or foods that were deep fried.
Despite still struggling with those feelings of frustration and anger, I was much better at letting it go this time because I know I had found my footing. I was able to stand my ground and be firm with my decisions.