Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Cement Feet

I slept through my alarm today, and the only reason I got out of bed when D did is because the housekeeper was coming in today and I wanted to tidy up (lol) before she got here (I know, sounds crazy, but I knew she'd faint if she saw my mountain of laundry that had not been put away)! Actually, one of the reasons why I didn't feel guilty about skipping the gym yesterday is because I knew I'd have the house to myself, unlike today when the housekeeper would be in. I generally don't like to be in the house while she's here, so it was a bit of extra motivation to get out of the house and go to the gym.

I put on my gym clothes but remembered that I needed to fill in my online visa application for the UAE. It took an hour to complete. By the time I was done, I so did not want to go to the gym. I just didn't. I'm still feeling tired and lethargic - what the hell is wrong with me?! I really cannot understand my mood lately.

I finally made it to the gym but I had 0 enthusiasm or motivation. When I bumped into KD (the body pump instructor) she said she was surprised. "I've never seen you like this." She couldn't believe it. One I'm at the gym, I usually get into the swing of things. Not today. I was literally dragging my feet that felt like they were made of cement.

Two other trainers also noticed the difference in my demeanor and enthusiasm -- they all reckoned (as did D) that I've underestimated what a toll the past 5 years of research has been. My body is telling me to slow down. The trainers were trying to reassure me that I should take it easy. Resting would do me good. Sleep. Eat. Slow down. Everything will be there after you've rested and eaten properly.

It makes sense to me, but I find it hard to pay attention to that kind of advice when I've got certain goals I want to hit. Knowing that I'm traveling again is both good and bad. Good in that I know I want to get in as many good workouts as I can before I travel because I probably won't be exercising while I'm away. Bad in that I just don't feel like I can get into a good groove when I'll be off sync again, so why bother.

My mind never rests. Ugh.

Plus, to add to this feeling of dread, little things were going 'wrong' -

Got on the treadmill - realized I had forgotten to put on my heart rate monitor.
Put on my heart rate monitor - a minute or so later the sensor stopped working and my heart rate didn't register.
As I got to the end of my warm-up, I pressed the button to decrease my speed and the touch screen had stopped working.

OMG - I was so frustrated. I kept thinking that if one more thing went wrong, I'd just pack my stuff up and go home. (Though I also realize that my mind greatly exaggerated the annoyance factor of these incidences. My mind was really messing with me today!) Anyway.

I managed to do 1/2 km warm-up followed by Workout 4 of Stage 7 in NROL4W - squats (2 types), shoulder presses, step ups (ugh), and lateral pulls.

I kept telling myself - Come on. You can do this. Don't give up.

It was hard though. I struggled. I had to talk myself into doing each rep. It was such a mental battle today. I've never had to convince myself so much to get a workout done. Although I was pleased that I finished the whole thing, part of me still felt detached and was like, 'Whatever. I'm tired. I just want to go home.'

I had wanted to start the C25K program today, but I wasn't sure if I'd be able to. Still, as I finished up my last set of weights I told myself -

Stop whining. Get on the treadmill and do this!

The post that Blog Wobble wrote yesterday really helped me get through the workout. (Thank you!!!) I kept telling myself, for goodness sake, it's day 1. You can totally do this. You're just making it more difficult for yourself.

So I did it. I didn't have any problems, but today was definitely a mind over matter type of day. I had to talk myself through the whole process (don't give up, just keep moving, this is not difficult, only 30 seconds left etc. etc.) In any case, I finished Day 1. Now I just have to keep moving forward and hope that my mind catches up.


  1. You won the mind game!!

    1. It was a tough one to win!

  2. I've known several people who tidy up before the house cleaner arrives. I would not be one of those I'm thinking. :)

    With only one week off from exercise, I am once again procrastinating and kind of dreading getting started. It's just so hot here. :(

    You are doing better than me.

    1. I'm just going through the motions at the moment. I'm trying to find that inner motivation again. At the moment it seems to be sleeping ...

  3. Some days you just aren't feeling it. Good for you for pushing through anyway!

    I too tidy up when my housecleaner is coming - I pay her to clean my bathrooms and scrub my floors, not pick up my children's mess!

    1. I'm glad I'm not the only one who tidies up a bit before the housekeeper comes in :)

  4. I do a quick pickup before the housekeeper comes, too. I thought I was the only one! I want the deeper cleaning, not the stuff I should do every day.

    And the cement feet? When I was exercising every day for an hour, sometimes I would have that problem. I would just cut it short and figure my body was telling me something. But sometimes you get in the groove and can go on and on. Listen to your body.

    1. I agree. I just need her help with the big stuff and usually the dusting because that's an endless chore when you live in the desert!

      I'm glad I got through the workout though it really was tough!

  5. UGH! I get that feeling. I'm feeling something similar. Granted I only finished my bachelors but it's been a really tough degree and there have been so many obstacles. It's like there's a motivational cramp... just gotta work it out. Body and brain need breaks sometimes, but it's been terrible these last three weeks.

    You can do this. I'm glad you powered through anyway. These transitory periods are DIFFICULT.

    1. I have to admit that this transition period caught me by surprise ... hopefully it'll all come together soon :)


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