I put on my gym clothes but remembered that I needed to fill in my online visa application for the UAE. It took an hour to complete. By the time I was done, I so did not want to go to the gym. I just didn't. I'm still feeling tired and lethargic - what the hell is wrong with me?! I really cannot understand my mood lately.
I finally made it to the gym but I had 0 enthusiasm or motivation. When I bumped into KD (the body pump instructor) she said she was surprised. "I've never seen you like this." She couldn't believe it. One I'm at the gym, I usually get into the swing of things. Not today. I was literally dragging my feet that felt like they were made of cement.
Two other trainers also noticed the difference in my demeanor and enthusiasm -- they all reckoned (as did D) that I've underestimated what a toll the past 5 years of research has been. My body is telling me to slow down. The trainers were trying to reassure me that I should take it easy. Resting would do me good. Sleep. Eat. Slow down. Everything will be there after you've rested and eaten properly.
It makes sense to me, but I find it hard to pay attention to that kind of advice when I've got certain goals I want to hit. Knowing that I'm traveling again is both good and bad. Good in that I know I want to get in as many good workouts as I can before I travel because I probably won't be exercising while I'm away. Bad in that I just don't feel like I can get into a good groove when I'll be off sync again, so why bother.
My mind never rests. Ugh.
Plus, to add to this feeling of dread, little things were going 'wrong' -
Got on the treadmill - realized I had forgotten to put on my heart rate monitor.
Put on my heart rate monitor - a minute or so later the sensor stopped working and my heart rate didn't register.
As I got to the end of my warm-up, I pressed the button to decrease my speed and the touch screen had stopped working.
OMG - I was so frustrated. I kept thinking that if one more thing went wrong, I'd just pack my stuff up and go home. (Though I also realize that my mind greatly exaggerated the annoyance factor of these incidences. My mind was really messing with me today!) Anyway.
I managed to do 1/2 km warm-up followed by Workout 4 of Stage 7 in NROL4W - squats (2 types), shoulder presses, step ups (ugh), and lateral pulls.
I kept telling myself - Come on. You can do this. Don't give up.
It was hard though. I struggled. I had to talk myself into doing each rep. It was such a mental battle today. I've never had to convince myself so much to get a workout done. Although I was pleased that I finished the whole thing, part of me still felt detached and was like, 'Whatever. I'm tired. I just want to go home.'
I had wanted to start the C25K program today, but I wasn't sure if I'd be able to. Still, as I finished up my last set of weights I told myself -
Stop whining. Get on the treadmill and do this!
The post that Blog Wobble wrote yesterday really helped me get through the workout. (Thank you!!!) I kept telling myself, for goodness sake, it's day 1. You can totally do this. You're just making it more difficult for yourself.
So I did it. I didn't have any problems, but today was definitely a mind over matter type of day. I had to talk myself through the whole process (don't give up, just keep moving, this is not difficult, only 30 seconds left etc. etc.) In any case, I finished Day 1. Now I just have to keep moving forward and hope that my mind catches up.