Halting Thoughts

I went to bed late last night, partly because I was catching up on commenting on blog posts. I've been so behind and I really have missed being more active in the blogging world.

I was also getting the house ready for Dad's arrival. I set up his bed, hooked up my old laptop, arranged a basket of munchies, etc.

I didn't get to bed until 1:45 a.m. and I had set my alarm for 3:15 -- his flight was due to arrive at 4:00 a.m.

When I got up, I checked the flight arrival schedule to make sure his flight arrived on time. Apparently his flight had arrived at 2:45! Why did he tell me 4 a.m.?! Of course my sleep immediately disappeared and I rushed to get ready to go to the airport. I didn't want him to be hanging around the airport for that long!

I got to the airport at 4:05 and instead of wasting time looking for him, I just gave him a call ... he answered, and when I asked if he was here yet, he said No. He had missed his connection so he wouldn't be arriving until 8:30 a.m. (The plane ended up circling the airport for half an hour which is why he didn't know from beforehand that it was going to be delayed).

I was so frustrated on the drive back home. I found myself thinking, hmmm I'm going to treat myself to a toasted cheese croissant. That'll make me feel better.

And then I paused, shook my head, and thought - why in the world would I do that to myself? Just because something didn't go according to plan I'm going to continue the cycle and do something else that is not part of my plan??? No!

It's scary how quickly those thoughts come into my head. Will seeking 'comfort' in food ever stop becoming a default thought/action?

I got back home and quickly got into bed. I got 2 hours of restless sleep before getting up again. I saw that my dad's flight was delayed by yet another 25 minutes. I thought I would go to the airport a bit early and grade some papers at Starbucks, treating myself to a tall, skim, caramel macchiato. It's not as bad as a croissant, and it's still a little treat.

As I was walking out the door, I stopped. I asked myself, 'Will this action lead me towards my goals or away from them?' The answer was obvious.

I put my bag down, went to the kitchen, made a cup of green tea and sat down at my desk to mark my papers until it was time for me to leave for the airport.

I don't feel deprived. I don't feel upset. I know I made the right decision, and if I continue to make these decisions, then I will see the results I want to see. I am sure of that.


The rest of the day was crazy hectic. I took my dad from the airport straight to the hospital coz' we had meet up with his doctor (which is why he's come to Kuwait in the first place). We then headed to one of the government offices to take care of some of his paperwork. In the meantime we were stuck in almost 2 hours of traffic.

We didn't get home until after 1 p.m. by which time I was starving! I had not expected to run those errands immediately after picking dad up (I'm so glad I had cancelled my class beforehand) so I wasn't prepared.

I had a banana while I waited for my egg muffins to bake. I had to pace myself as I ate them with my 1/2 avocado.

I was so tired at that point. All I could think about was sleep, so I went and took a 45-minute nap.

Upon waking I knew that I wanted to go workout, but my body just did not want to move. I was meeting a friend at 5 so I kept doing calculations in my head - how long will it take for me to drive to the gym, workout, shower, change, drive to meet her ... it just wasn't adding up. I was feeling so lazy.

In the end, I was texting a friend who also has the same amount of weight to lose and he's really kicking it up a notch and wants to see major progress by the end of May, and he said he was just getting to the gym.

That was enough motivation for me to get up and out. Instead of going to the gym I went for a 5 km walk/jog/run at the track near my house.

I did quite well. I ended up walking 2.5 km and jogging 2.5 km, though the jog was broken up into segments. Overall I felt good, and by the time I got home, I felt great for having done my workout for the day.

I showered and changed and then headed to the cafe to meet my friend.

At this point, I was really hungry again - at this point in the day I had really only consumed about 400 calories (banana + egg muffins). However, looking at the sandwiches and cakes in the display at the cafe was not tempting at all. There wasn't a single healthy option and even though I'm not on the Whole Life Challenge anymore and I could eat whatever I wanted to ... I had no desire to. So, I just had my green tea and got caught up in our conversations versus my thoughts about how hungry I was.

Dinner could not come soon enough!! Baked salmon and a salad for dinner -- it was perfect. A few grapes for dessert, and I was done for the day.

There were so many points throughout the day when I could have used my stress, frustration, and laziness as an excuse to eat something, but I didn't and I'm so happy with my decisions!

Day 1 with Dad complete & we've both survived (with a few near misses).