I grudgingly skipped my workouts at both the gym and CrossFit today in order to take care of errands. I ended up doing my 'go-to' workout at home that I created for myself. I know it's not the same as going to the gym, but it's all I could do today.
I had 23 things on my list of things to do today and I got through all of them except for 2 phone calls that I have yet to make. The phone calls have been more exhausting than the actual running around. For example I spent 37 minutes on the phone with the British Airways office in London. The guy kept apologizing for making me wait and I wanted to just scream at him - stop apologizing, just do them damn work! I finally lost my temper at the end after I had finished all my transactions etc. when he said I just want to check one more thing. I snapped and said, What exactly are you checking? You said everything was already finalized and good to go. You are running up my phone bill for no reason. To which he apologized again and asked if I would mind staying on the line to for a survey. Was he kidding me?! I told him no way. I confirmed that everything I needed was taken care of and then I hung up. I swear I could have screamed!! Ugh.
Anyway. Aside from that my biggest stress has been preparing for my dad's visit. He arrives at 4 a.m. tomorrow. That's right, 4 a.m.
My Dad visits every 3 months for his health check-ups. I love my Dad, but we do not see eye to eye at all when it comes to eating healthy and how to go about losing weight/living a healthier life. He's totally into fad diets (which he doesn't commit to); he preaches about staying away from flour, sugar, and cheese -- the 3 things that he loves to indulge in; and worst of all, he's diabetic and a kidney transplant patient and I know he sneaks in chocolate.
(My blood pressure is rising just writing this!)
During his first visit, I had a meltdown every single day. We argued and I cried because I felt like he didn't respect me and the changes that I had made in my eating habits. As he is eating pizza (that he ordered) he asks me if I want a slice -- and this is after 10 days of him knowing that I'm not eating any flour, dairy, or sugar/processed foods (I was on the Whole Life Challenge).
His second trip was a bit better, but we still clashed. That time, however, I backed off a bit and just let him do his thing. I knew that I was doing whatever I could to make sure we were well fed (quantity and quality of food). When he asked for Burger King instead of arguing about it and stressing myself out, I just took him to Burger King. At 65 years old if he's not going to change his habits, why should I stress over it?
I say that, but the truth of the matter is that I do stress over it because I know it is bad for his health. It hurts me to see him not take care of himself. When I see the way he eats and is around food it is like a traumatic experience - making me think of how I developed bad habits in the first place.
It makes me sad and angry.
I find it really, really difficult to deal with.
I know where I stand in terms of my health and how I want to live my life. I know that if he wants junk food or chocolate or ice cream, I do not need to join him. I am just fine with how and what I eat. I do believe this; however, I also know that it will stress me out though I'm going to try to just breathe through it as much as I can.
Today I did a huge grocery shop. I have loaded up on delicious vegetables and lots of different proteins. I also bought my dad a few little treats - some 85% dark chocolate, a cheese and olive mix that he likes, some bread, and some cheese as well as a few other nibbles. It gave me mild anxiety putting these foods in my cart because they were things that I just don't buy anymore, but I figured I'd rather control how many snacks there are in the house versus letting him go crazy in the supermarket (and he does go crazy in the supermarket - I get both my eating habits and my shopaholic tendencies from my dad).
The next ten days will be challenging. My schedule will be disrupted (once again) and food will be a bit of an issue.
However, I know that I am strong. I know what is good for me. I know what my goals are. There is no need for anything or anybody to get in the way of that. I have been through enough obstacles over the past 2 years to know how to stay in control, or at least in as much control as possible.
There will definitely be a lot of deep breathing going on over the next few days.
Today's Workout:
Workout at home
Today's Food:
Breakfast: Banana + 1 T peanut butter + 1 date
Lunch: Baked fish in tomato sauce, chili, and bell peppers
Dinner: Baked fish and vegetables (wasn't feeling too creative today)
Snack: 1 cup green tea; 1/2 cup grapes
I had 23 things on my list of things to do today and I got through all of them except for 2 phone calls that I have yet to make. The phone calls have been more exhausting than the actual running around. For example I spent 37 minutes on the phone with the British Airways office in London. The guy kept apologizing for making me wait and I wanted to just scream at him - stop apologizing, just do them damn work! I finally lost my temper at the end after I had finished all my transactions etc. when he said I just want to check one more thing. I snapped and said, What exactly are you checking? You said everything was already finalized and good to go. You are running up my phone bill for no reason. To which he apologized again and asked if I would mind staying on the line to for a survey. Was he kidding me?! I told him no way. I confirmed that everything I needed was taken care of and then I hung up. I swear I could have screamed!! Ugh.
Anyway. Aside from that my biggest stress has been preparing for my dad's visit. He arrives at 4 a.m. tomorrow. That's right, 4 a.m.
My Dad visits every 3 months for his health check-ups. I love my Dad, but we do not see eye to eye at all when it comes to eating healthy and how to go about losing weight/living a healthier life. He's totally into fad diets (which he doesn't commit to); he preaches about staying away from flour, sugar, and cheese -- the 3 things that he loves to indulge in; and worst of all, he's diabetic and a kidney transplant patient and I know he sneaks in chocolate.
(My blood pressure is rising just writing this!)
During his first visit, I had a meltdown every single day. We argued and I cried because I felt like he didn't respect me and the changes that I had made in my eating habits. As he is eating pizza (that he ordered) he asks me if I want a slice -- and this is after 10 days of him knowing that I'm not eating any flour, dairy, or sugar/processed foods (I was on the Whole Life Challenge).
His second trip was a bit better, but we still clashed. That time, however, I backed off a bit and just let him do his thing. I knew that I was doing whatever I could to make sure we were well fed (quantity and quality of food). When he asked for Burger King instead of arguing about it and stressing myself out, I just took him to Burger King. At 65 years old if he's not going to change his habits, why should I stress over it?
I say that, but the truth of the matter is that I do stress over it because I know it is bad for his health. It hurts me to see him not take care of himself. When I see the way he eats and is around food it is like a traumatic experience - making me think of how I developed bad habits in the first place.
It makes me sad and angry.
I find it really, really difficult to deal with.
I know where I stand in terms of my health and how I want to live my life. I know that if he wants junk food or chocolate or ice cream, I do not need to join him. I am just fine with how and what I eat. I do believe this; however, I also know that it will stress me out though I'm going to try to just breathe through it as much as I can.
Today I did a huge grocery shop. I have loaded up on delicious vegetables and lots of different proteins. I also bought my dad a few little treats - some 85% dark chocolate, a cheese and olive mix that he likes, some bread, and some cheese as well as a few other nibbles. It gave me mild anxiety putting these foods in my cart because they were things that I just don't buy anymore, but I figured I'd rather control how many snacks there are in the house versus letting him go crazy in the supermarket (and he does go crazy in the supermarket - I get both my eating habits and my shopaholic tendencies from my dad).
The next ten days will be challenging. My schedule will be disrupted (once again) and food will be a bit of an issue.
However, I know that I am strong. I know what is good for me. I know what my goals are. There is no need for anything or anybody to get in the way of that. I have been through enough obstacles over the past 2 years to know how to stay in control, or at least in as much control as possible.
There will definitely be a lot of deep breathing going on over the next few days.
Today's Workout:
Workout at home
Today's Food:
Breakfast: Banana + 1 T peanut butter + 1 date
Lunch: Baked fish in tomato sauce, chili, and bell peppers
Dinner: Baked fish and vegetables (wasn't feeling too creative today)
Snack: 1 cup green tea; 1/2 cup grapes
Remember the serenity prayer when it comes to others. Good luck:)
ReplyDeleteMarc, would you believe I was reciting the serenity prayer as I was grocery shopping today? Seriously. It helped.
DeleteThat is an amazing coincidence! Off topic...I watched the crossfit championships on television and am soooo impressed. That is so cool that you are one of those competitors.
DeleteI often eat the same thing for two or even three meals. I don't mind leftovers and I hate throwing food out.
ReplyDeleteI know what you are talking about with your Dad. My brother in law is more than 100 pounds overweight and also diabetic. He has back and knee problems and yet he continues to eat anything and everything. So many people that I've met think they can continue eating as always just as long as they take their pills. It is sad.
Hang in there and do the best you can. :)
Thanks Caron. I will definitely try my best.
DeleteI wish you the best of luck with your dad's visit. Maybe just remember that at the heart of it, you both love each other even though you disagree about food. I'll be thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteHi A! That would drive me nuts, pure and simple. Your dad eats like my husband.
ReplyDeleteIt was probably better to buy a few little indulgences for him than what previously happened.
Hang in there! Be strong--mentally this time.
:-) Marion
Good luck with your dad!! Try to just accept him for what he has to offer you as a father. He's doing the best he can with his life and probably feels a need to be a "father" for his own feelings of being worthwhile.
ReplyDeleteAfter he leaves, you will be glad :-)
Our parents can make us crazy like no one else in the world. Hang in there.
ReplyDelete23 errands? Egads! You are wonder woman! Good luck with your dad's visit. Parents tend to bring out the worst in us sometimes, but I think that's their job. Before you know it, he'll be on his way and you'll miss him!
ReplyDeleteWishing you the best of luck with your father. I know what you mean, about knowing exactly where you get "X" tendencies from, because I get my "eat food as if it's all going to disappear" and my couch potato gene from him. Fortunately, mine is not quite as strongly expressed, but that's because I pry myself off the couch on a regular basis.
ReplyDeleteMy father has gained and lost the same 70 (yes, a seven and a zero) pounds over and over, and right now is weighing the most he has in perhaps fifteen years. My mother is beside herself and I just don't say anything. That takes a lot since I'm with him and his habits every. single. day at the office.
I want to kick him in the shins when I see him slathering his "whole wheat" Ritz crackers in peanut butter. Because let me tell you, it's more peanut butter than cracker.
All this to say I hear you. I can relate, to an extent. We're all pulling for you!