Body & Mind

I'm in a dark place at the moment. Actually, I've been in a dark place for a while now, and I've really been struggling to find a way out.

My leg, which still hurts, is definitely getting me down. I've had to resort to some strong painkillers -- but on the bright side, those painkillers have been helping me get a bit of sleep.

I have not resorted at all to eating anything unhealthy. One thing that has definitely helped is the fact that I don't have any junk food in the house. I don't bring any chocolate, chips, cookies, ice cream - nothing - into the house. The worst thing I have in my fridge is a 90 calorie fat free chocolate pudding, and I didn't even resort to eating that ... In fact, I was actually surprised to realize that I didn't have any depression/stress-based cravings at all. I mean, you can control what you have at home, but what about the drive home? I pass several fast food joints that would be so easy to drive into and order something unhealthy to 'soothe me' - which is something I might have done before ... but now, it didn't even cross my mind. It's nice to be aware of that change -- and it's definitely a relief. Nothing worse than feeling depressed and then coming out of the depression 5 pounds heavier!

Instead, I've been trying to work through my issues - finding the source, thinking about the problem, and trying to figure out a logical, reasonable solution. It hasn't been easy. In fact, it has been absolutely exhausting. I think we forget what kind of relationship there is between the body and the mind. I've definitely been one who has been susceptible to psychosomatic symptoms ... so I'm just trying to approach things in a more mature fashion.

One of the trainers at the gym told me that right now the best thing to do is rest. No matter how much I want to be running off this stress on that treadmill, it will probably make things worse. So, over the next few days I'm going to be concentrating on resting - both my body and my mind. Hopefully I'll come out stronger at the end of this.